So, after talking to a few friends of mine about a current situation they say that I am making a mistake and should move on.
The long story short is basically as follows:
I'd say just over a month ago I briefly met this guy, swapped fb and started talking via mail on there pretty much daily. Initially it was the small talk, polite conversation and then it progressed into meaningful ones. Eventually, we swapped numbers because he is in the Navy and was going to sea/down to his ship for a while and wouldn't be on FB.
From then on we text, without fail, every single day for quite some time once you add it all together.
The weekend just passed there we agreed to meet up for coffee before he left to go to sea for two weeks, as he was on leave for the weekend back home. Now, this would be the first real meet given the state we both initially met in, and we could barely remember it. Everything went great, he was funny, nice etc. and the conversation flowed just like in the texts. Nothing awkward or horrible. It was just really comfortable. I went with him to the station as he was leaving, we hugged and kissed goodbye.
Now, he's off at sea for two weeks and we've been emailing as he doesn't get much signal. Again, the emails are more than just your basic "hi how are you" chats, and we agreed when he was on leave next weekend to meet for the full day again.
So that's basically where I'm at just now.
I told my friends this and they replied with the following really:
a) it will never work because he's in the Navy.
b) he probably does it with everyone.
c) it won't get serious and just die off.
d) I have a son, and they decided that would scare him off.
And a whole host of other negatives that basically amount to them believing I'm being daft really.
I know why they would have thoughts like that, but considering before we even started to 'talk seriously', if there is such a thing, we both mentioned how we have things that come first in our lives and other people would have to accept it in a relationship - his being the Navy, and mine my son. I understand that just now he is miles away and will be for a while, but he also told me that in the near future he'd be closer to home working more regular hours for 4 years as part of his job.
The whole "he probably does it with everyone" doesn't seem likely either. Two days home every second week - a month doesn't leave a lot of room for 'doing it with everyone' in my book, especially if one of those days he's already made plans with me, you know?
He also met me knowing I had a son, and has acknowledged he understands my son comes first and he's cool with that.
Now, I know things are far from serious between us, but given things that have been said, both of us developing feelings for each other which are based on actually connecting and admitting it etc, it seems that perhaps one day it could become more. For just now I'm happy with how things are and living it as it comes without expectations, but it's always nice to know something may be probable you know?
But, from what I've said (and I understand it may seem like a jumble) would you say I'm silly for continuing things the way they are based on the circumstances and that I should just call it quits now? Or do you think my friends are being irrational, and quite frankly not too nice, about the whole situation and just go with how it is just now, with the hopes something more will develop?
(I won't base my actions on the responses, since no one can decide but me, it would just be nice to see if from other perspectives)
Thank you lovelies!
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Would you say this is a mistake? watch
- Thread Starter
- 26-10-2011 23:56
- 27-10-2011 00:44
At the end of the day it is just a job, so I think it is a bit harsh for your friends to assume that he does it with everyone, so try to ignore that. Relationships with members of the Armed Forces are always going to be difficult due to distance. If you feel he is worth it then by all means it is possible that some thing can come of this. You don't say that you are exclusive, so you could always date until see him again. Then you will know if he is what you are really looking for.
All the best
P.s Ignore b) and d), a) and c) are the only realistic concerns based on what you have said.