URGH!!!! People, what's your problem??! What's MY problem?!?

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OH and about those girls that are jealous of you?
ok so i know this girl and she is EXTREMELY beautiful...like..i'm not lesbian but honestly i can't stop looking at her. everyone is always paying her compliments but she does get some girls that are jealous of her. but they're just insecure and so they hate even thought there is nothing to hate. they're the losers. you should be feeling SORRY for them not letting them upset you. and you know how this girl i told you about has so many friends that are girls? she's confident and friendly. honestly...whenever someone talks to her she's really nice to them and she pays attention to what they're saying. she pays attention to people and they like that. also she's not scared to compliment others. guys or girls. and i'm not talking about fake compliments. sometimes i'll say something that she thinks is cute and even thought i'm a girl and she's straight she'll just be "you're so adorable" and i'll be honest..it makes one special lol and after that i'll feel bad for hating on her. because before i would secretly like it when people said bad things about her :frown:

because i was jealous that she 'had it all' and i didn't. so don't let these girls upset you. take it in your stride and be nice and open and friendly to people. it'll get better i promise :smile:

if that girl i know can have so many people that are nice to her (not just because she's pretty) you can too :smile:

and don't worry about guys thinking you're a bimbo. some guys say that about her as well...but honestly those guys are just nobodies and they can never get her. you wouldn't want to be friends with people like that anyway :smile:

You're posts made me smile :smile:

I know I was acting beyond stupid but there is noone I could say this to and tsr was open on my laptop so I just automatically poured out my guts! Sorry!!

Thankfully I'm blessed with a group of amazing friends and you're right, I'll just focus on the normal and on the things I do have rather than the things I don't (or wish I don't). I hardly ever give compliments because I always assume everyone is like me and hates them :s-smilie:

I see that's not true now!

Reply 41

Anonymous #1

Original post by Silver Arrow

Post a pic and we'll decide just how beautiful you really are ok?
If you like someone then go up to them and talk to them or at least let them know. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS!! so dont sit there getting angry wondering why nobody is noticing you.
Get out there and do something about it. It doesn't always have to be men that make all the first moves e.t.c

What would be the point of going anon only to post a pic?

Reply 42

Silver Arrow

Original post by Anonymous

What would be the point of going anon only to post a pic?

Well assuming you don't know anybody here then it wouldn't matter as the image would be attached to an anonymous post.
Regardless of that, the rest of my advice still applies; talk to people, smile e.t.c don't just think because you're "pretty" everything in life will come to you just as you want it.

Reply 43

Anonymous #1

Original post by Silver Arrow

My brother is on here! This isn't about me wanting validation for my looks anyway. I wan just ranting irrationally, I admit.

I have never thought that, I;ve never truly felt pretty, I think that's why I get so angry when I hear it.

I smile at guys and they look at me suspiciously or they look terrified and ignore me, maybe I'm not actually pretty, just wierd looking and people just say it because they feel sorry me? I'm not the only girl who can't ask guys out- I'd say I'm in the majority, it's realy scary and I don't envy guys for it. Although having said that, I asked out this guy to the year 11 prom and he asked me if "it was a dare" I had though he was kidding so I laughed and he told me I was being cruel and he didn't speak to me until year 13. The way I see it, if a guy really did like me, I would be worth SOME effort, I'm not saying ask me out, but give me a little sign, not asking for too much.

Reply 44

CastleRose47

Original post by Anonymous

OP i get what you mean by this but people don't always realize how much they like a person until they get to know them really well you know? what i mean is don't wait for guys that REALLY like right from the start. because these feelings grow over time and as you get to know a person better. you're just cutting them off right at the start. does that make sense? lol and if someone doesn't react well....like...guys looking at you suspiciously or asking you if its a dare and stuff....you just have to make yourself clear. you should have told that guy straight away that it WASN'T a dare you know? you're just gonna have to put in a little more effort. just like people who aren't so pretty lol people who aren't good looking have learnt to live with what they havn't got, you're just gonna have to learn to live with it :biggrin:

not that bad of a deal IMO LOL good luck :smile:

Reply 45

Zerforax

You probably look approachable so guys are happy to give compliments and then your body language is scary/closed up/crazy so no one pursues it further.

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

Original post by CastleRose47

not that bad of a deal IMO LOL good luck :smile:

Well, the only guys who are friends with me are gay/already in relationships. I don't really get much opportunity to get to know guys over a period of time....except my friend's now boyfriend. I don't want to throw myself at guys either, and I'm not the type tof flirt (I can't flirt so I won't try, plus I'd feel fake.). I told him later when I ran into him but he didn't believe me and then avoided any contact with me until year 13. His gf finds it hilarious, he's still awkward around me though (we go to the same uni).

Anything in life takes effort right? :smile:

I've gotten into the habit of isolating myself from new people now because they make me feel awkward, I just carry a book everywhere I go now and sit in the corner and read. My friend had a housewarming party last week, after about half an hour, I went into her room and read for a while :tongue:

Original post by Zerforax

You probably look approachable so guys are happy to give compliments and then your body language is scary/closed up/crazy so no one pursues it further.

Nah with guys, it's either complete strangers on the street/tube or drunken guys. The ones in my life tell someone who then tells me. They find out I know, then they proceed to ignore me/avoid me until the end of time.

Reply 47

Sam Walters

Original post by Dimples18

Grow the **** up. Clearly showing your level of immaturity making insults like this.
Your absolutely pathetic.

You're?

Reply 48

Danz123

You seem to be getting angrier and angrier because people keep calling you beautiful? What on Earth? ... I don't... OK. Also, if you liked the guy for two years, why didn't you APPROACH HIM and ASK HIM OUT?

Reply 49

Salisa

Original post by Anonymous

I know it's my fault, but I'm glad I said nothing. If he liked me even a little bit, he would never ask out my besft friend and ensure nothing can ever happen between us. Had I told him, I just would've got rejected anyway.

And yes, I am mad because I can't go a day without someone making a comment. :angry:

It's MY face, what gives them the right to say so much crap?!

how would you know he would have reject you.... are you physic( forgive me if the spelling is wrong)or something he might have liked you. but you did not say anything abt liking him or anything. if you did i you would have atleast known for sure if he likes you or nt rather than speculate abt that..

Reply 50

malaikah

Original post by Anonymous

I'm sick and TIRED of people telling me I'm beautiful! Everytime I hear these words I just want to punch the person in the mouth. Today a guy came up to me just to say that and walk off??!! I just wanted to scream SHUT UP it's NOT TRUE and whack him on the head :angry:

why say that and walk away?! Why is that all I EVER get??!! :stomp:

No dates or relationships. just pointless, meaningless, worthless STUPID WORDS!!!! :banghead:

WHO actually CARES?!?!

the guy I've liked for TWO YEARS, the ONLY guy I've ever liked asks out my best friend!!! MY BEST FRIEND. The most amazing person in the entire world. It's not surprising he would fall for her, I would if I were that way inclined! .

I feel sad for writing this. I don't even know what I want to say. I just got off the phone from the happy bunny telling me every exruciating detail of their conversation. All the wonderful things he said to her. I've never felt such pain in my chest in my life (it actually scared me). Then she asks me if I want to meet up with them afterwards, catch a film? I told her I didn't want to be a third wheel, besides me and him aren't all that close. She then says, Oh no, he mentioned you, he actually said you were really beautiful. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!!! :angry:

WHY?!?! WHAT IS THE NEED?!??! I just cried angry tears when she said that. She doesn't know that I'm practically in love with him, I never told anyone. I love her to bits so of course in time I shall be happy for her, for now, I'm irrationally upset that she never noticed that I liked him (how could she? I never said anything). I will never let her know any of this.

It's not fair. :bawling:

Oh, you poor dear. Have a hug :jumphug:

(I'm not being sarcastic btw)

I can understand on a level that it just may seem superficial to you now. I love being told that I'm beautiful, but sometimes you want someone to appreciate the more meaningful things about you- your personality and character etc.

What I would say is to work more on your personality, so that people remember you for your qualities as well as your beauty. It may be that people are slightly intimidated by you, and think if they asked you out, you wouldn't give them a second thought.

If you'd like to talk, feel free to PM :smile:

Reply 51

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Solution: http://www.wit-t-shirts.com/funny_Tshirts/pictures/funny_tees/man_flu_carrier.gif

Perhaps you should share more with your bestie.. to be fair she's probably either a bit of a bimbo or a **** friend if you don't like anyone else and have liked this guy for 2 years and she hasn't sussed owt.. either way, I'd make your excuses and give yourself time to digest the fact that they're together now rather than force yourself into a situation that will only cause you further anxiety

I know it's a little crass but, plenty more fish in the sea pet - shouldn't be too hard to engage a lad in conversation beyond "hey, you're beautiful" .. "thanks" .. "no problemo" .. :smile:

Afraid there is so far as most are concerned, you may not realise it but we're programmed to sort/select based on certain evolutionary criteria (not limited to aesthetics it has to be said)

Paranoid about what? You can't lose who you are, other people can fail to grasp exactly what you are (in totality) but that's something different. Why are women so damned reflexive, poor souls :rolleyes:

Only fundamentally bass and insecure people thrive on false/shallow compliments. Flattery is folly, sycophancy is, well.. sick - if you value sincerity always be sincere yourself. That is not to say that one cannot be kind/charming mind, at the appropriate moments :beard:

Maybe try a discrete smile and a natural (inquisitive) approach. Being female, y'all get to deliver openers without worrying about sounding either rapey or effeminate, major advantage!

You don't need to ask a guy out, you just need to talk naturally with guys until the right one shows the right kind of interest, if they're worth their salt they'll handle the rest :smile:

You're probably surrounded by 'opportunities' unless ye live out in the sticks!- just need to know how to spot, and then harness, them my dear :holmes:

Haha thank you, you've actually given me a lot to think about. Bysaying I think I'm losing who I am, I mean that I feel as if in public, every part of me is up for scrutiny and people have "diluted" who I am to this shell and I now am fighting to be myself and let people see me rather than who they think/wish they see. I don't know how to explain it clearly, I used to have so much confidence and now I'm reduced to this...I just want to feel like my old self :redface:

As for my friend, I'm probably just really good at hiding my feelings :tongue:

This really isn't her fault! But yes I will avoid them until I stop feeling like crap!

I live in a city so it shouldn't be too hard to meet people! But for now maybe focus on my own issues and work thorugh that before I even think about guys..

Reply 52

Anonymous #1

Original post by Danz123

I really don't know how else to explain why it pisses me off :s-smilie:

I didn't ask him out because I didn't think he liked me (I was right!)- Oh well life goes on :rolleyes:

Reply 53

Anonymous #1

Original post by Salisa

I know now in hindsight that he never liked me beause if you like someone would you get into a relationship with their besf friend? Especially knowing the golden rule about never dating your friends' exes?! Nope :smile:

So yes, that's how I know. Plus he asked her out, evidently he is confident enough to ask out the girls he likes, he never asked me out ergo...

Reply 54

Anonymous #1

Original post by malaikah

Oh, you poor dear. Have a hug :jumphug:

Yes, I really do :smile:

compliments on your personality always sound so sincere to me for some reason; even though they still make me uncomfortable, it's the embarassed kind, not the angry kind!

You're very kind though thank you :redface:

Reply 55

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Good luck with that.. personally I wouldn't bother 'fighting' unless the people in question really matter, and I'm sure most of those who really do don't need you to battle to convince them of owt really. As for new people you meet and might like to be friends/partners with, by all means make an effort to show your different sides but there again understand that really worthwhile people will ordinarily be able to see them for themselves, unless you are a very closed person and persist in hiding behind books 24/7.. :rolleyes:

The good news is that you do not appear to lack a certain self-confidence, and whilst you may be lacking 'confidence', it's something that may come and go but can always be restored - with the right mindset and fortifying experiences :smile:

Good lass, just for a little while eh - I'd try to lose yourself in activities/work/other people, whilst making sure she knows you still want to see her one to one of course :smile:

Gdgd. Sounds like your 'issues' emanate from interpersonal interaction so I wouldn't avoid contact with other people, I'd encourage you to do the opposite in fact, but definitely get your head straight re: the right approach first if you're not loving the way things are currently working out.. :holmes:

You'd be surprised (or maybe not..) at the number of times a day I pull out a book during "socialising"- my friends have expressed how annoying it's becoming so it is happening less and less every day :smile:

It did sink in, what you said about only putting in effort with those who matter and even then, if they are worth it, they should see me as me anyway. All those that I call friends are those that I have not had to try and show who I am...I sound like a character from an american tv-show, sorry!! But I don't know why I care so much what others think of me :s-smilie:

Human nature?

It's the very early stages of their relationship so I think they're going to want to spend everyday around each other! Maybe we'll take shifts? :tongue:

Reply 56

malaikah

Original post by Anonymous

Yes, I really do :smile:

You're welcome :smile:

What runs through your head when someone tells you that you're beautiful- dya reckon they're being sincere, do you just see beauty as physical, and nothing more? Or dya not appreciate it at all?

And how old are you?

Also, I wouldn't recommend spending time around your friend- it'd be almost like punishing yourself!

Reply 57

catjaum

Original post by Anonymous

why say that and walk away?! Why is that all I EVER get??!! :stomp:

No dates or relationships. just pointless, meaningless, worthless STUPID WORDS!!!! :banghead:

you seen like you have a beautiful personality..... :evilbanana:

Reply 58

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Thought it was just a defence against blokes giving you one liners? You actually do it around people you do want to engage with? :s-smilie:

You do a bit aye :tongue:

but I've encountered other lasses like you, it's common for girls to have self-image issues, particularly where they're not taken seriously/treated effectively as objects

Yes, also part of the female condition - you lot tend to be far more socially aware, impressionable, sensitive and responsive than us boneheads :rolleyes:

Haha. Yeah, ask her to hang a white hankerchief out of her window when the coast is clear (if she still doesn't suss something's amiss then I think we can safely conclude she's socially retarded :awesome:

)

Yeah in the last few months, I've got into the habit of taking a few books with me everywhere I go, sometimes we'd be sitting in a group and new people come in or the topic turns to guys so I just take out a book and desengage myself :s-smilie:

I haven't been to a party and not taken a book in months. It actually sounds incredibly rude now that I think about it, but my friends always just laugh and leave me to it- the thing is, it started out as a way of avoiding strangers/awakward convos but now I'm addicted to books and I can't go a day without reading :frown:

You make us girls seem really complicated/high maintenance! It must be heaven being a guy! Is there a switch where we can just silence the little voices in our heads??

We talked about him for a bit, I think she noticed something when she asked if he could come round and watch a film with us and I blurted out does he have to?! haha here's here now, and she's gone out to get pizzas so it's just us two. He's sitting in the sofa oppisite me and I can feel him staring and it's really upsetting me. Now he's trying to make a conversation happen but I'm hiding behind my laptop and The Hobbit (don't judge :tongue:

) I told him I have an essay to do and am researching online in between reading, he thinks I'm wierd but eh. I kind of agreed to keep him company for her...and stay for the whole film because she needs "moral" support" as they keep having awkward silences when they're alone- They seem fine tbh and I just feel like a third wheel.). I really hate this and I think tomorrow I'll tell her everything :/ would that be a mistake?! I may have forgotten to mention she is also my flatmate so I will be seeing him in MY HOUSE probably 24/7 unless I speak up and ask her to take it elsewhere...but she might think I'm being pathetic or worse, she might tell him the real reason he can't come round! :eek: