How well were you raised?

I'm not being ungrateful :smile:

Just objective.
My parents did a good job of instilling morals into me, but they were way too soft-I've seen that for ages. They always gave me mixed messages about using my intelligence at school to effect but not worrying about not being best at some things. I think also they didn't teach me very well to deal with unhappiness because I still can't; though that may just be intrinsic to me :smile:

Reply 1

Dilute

15

Quite well, but not with manners. I have terrible habits with interruption and eye language, as well as body language (in my opinion). The academic side and moral/philosophical side was done pretty well, although I think this was due to a bit of self-discovery and laissez-faire by the parents.

Reply 2

Love_Hearts

9

i was brought up very well thank you please

Reply 3

q1w2e3r4t5y

They didn't and still don't pressurise me enough in my education, so I've become really lazy because of that, and guess what? My mum complains that I'm lazy like my dad :rolleyes:

But I've learned to deal with things myself and set my own deadlines and goals etc. so I guess in a way, it was a good thing.

Reply 4

q1w2e3r4t5y

Love_Hearts

i was brought up very well thank you please

Reply 5

veryrandom

10

I think I was raised well, apart from the fact that my family don't seem very in touch with their emotions. Therefore I'm the cynic amongst my friends who 'doesn't do hugs' and I do not understand why everybody has to tell eachother that they love eachother all the time. Someone teach me to love and be emotional lol.
But my manners are good, I have good morals, etc you get the picture :smile:

.

Reply 6

L i b

19

Better than 90% of the population anyway...

... although I didn't realise it at the time.

Reply 7

leona

12

Yeah, not too bad. Im a perfectly decnt human being. I'm the laziest bummer you'll ever meet though, cos my parents aren't too hot on the old academic front so dont feel it is right to pressurise me to be. I'm grateful for this though.

Reply 8

imoan

1

Until about 5 years ago I saw my parents very little really, I was practically raised by my older brother. My dad was a bit of an arse when I was younger aswell, used to be violent etc. That said Ive turned out pretty well, love my parents, had some ups and downs, but so do most people.

Reply 9

QT06

they didn't teach me very well to deal with unhappiness because I still can't;

my parents raised me well too... but like you said.. they didnt teach my about unhappiness and it s real hard for me to face all the hard times in my life..they eat me up inside...i ve had a great childhood and i was really happy, i thought i would always be happy all my life but suddenly i gew up, i m an adult already and when hard times hit me... i fall instead of facing them..and that sucks...

Reply 10

TKR

15

My parents set the right realisitc boundaries and enforced them properly on the infrequent occasions when it was needed. the fact that they never disciplined/made rules without explaining why gave us respect for their rules and for their views/advice and taught us to behave like good human beings, but not to be concerened with things that don't really matter in the great scehem of things. We were not forbidden things which many children are simply because their parents are irrationally over-protective/controlling/anal.

They encouraged us to be proud of what we are good at, but instilled an abhorrence of genuine arrogance - they gave us a good work ethic and generally morals compatible with reasoning, logic, and the real world.

They were great!

Reply 11

username30638

13

MrSornia

I'm not being ungrateful :smile:

Just objective.
My parents did a good job of instilling morals into me, but they were way too soft-I've seen that for ages. They always gave me mixed messages about using my intelligence at school to effect but not worrying about not being best at some things. I think also they didn't teach me very well to deal with unhappiness because I still can't; though that may just be intrinsic to me :smile:

I can not fault my parents at all, they have been fantastic.

Reply 12

Laursy

10

i was brought up reasonably well but without emotions and feelings being a fave topic in my house hold, also education was no good for me i didn't get enough praise,

love my mummy and daddy though my brothers have tought me alot about attitude, which isn't the best thing!

Reply 13

Ana

19

They didn't teach me to be proud of myself. It took my schoolteachers the whole of sixth form to do that, and I still feel a little insecure about whether I deserve to be at uni. But apart from that, I can't really complain. Few hiccups along the way about various things, but I was an only child, so they were pretty much picking it up as I grew up. Very large hole in my upbringing apropros religion, but that's certainly not their fault - again, this was filled by peeps outside my familly.

I think the thing to learn from this thread is how difficult it is to be a parent - I have great respect for them, and love them dearly even if they have caused me a little grief over the years :smile:

I don't think there's a single parent in existence who has never made mistakes, it's nothing to hold against them.

Reply 14

Cazzi

12

my parents attempted to raise me and my 16 year old brother as major academics, but we are both really free spirits and both rebelled against that. The result is that i believe were both really nice people, completly open minded about EVERYTHING :smile:

and depite being sent to a private school for 4 years..im still the same, never turned posh.

oh and my manners are appaling, but i blame my bf for that lol

my parents never got too close to us though, so we had to lean to love etc etc ourselves, they arnt lovvey duvvy like some parents, i havent hugged my mum since i was a kid.

Reply 15

trixie

9

veryrandom

I think I was raised well, apart from the fact that my family don't seem very in touch with their emotions. Therefore I'm the cynic amongst my friends who 'doesn't do hugs' and I do not understand why everybody has to tell eachother that they love eachother all the time. Someone teach me to love and be emotional lol.
But my manners are good, I have good morals, etc you get the picture :smile:

.

The same applies for me veryrandom...

Reply 16

Lady_Muck

14

Taught me an awful lot. I think the best gift I've ever been given was a private education since the year dot as ours are terrible. I've been taught good manners, etiquette, respect for others, how to shop brilliantly :redface:

, how to cook, how to be loved and love in return, to be emotional and to talk to my Mum if I ever have a problem. I had a great childhood on paper, if my dad wasn't such a berk then it would've been better...But he is and that's the only blot on what would've been a fairytale upbringing with ponies etc :smile:

However...If I have a big criticism, because it was mainly my Mum who brought my brother and I up she wasn't overly great on discipline. Brother is fine, he always tried really hard at school as he wanted to go to Oxford...Basically worked his socks off. Whereas I've always done NO work, been lazy and more interested in doing sports or just not going. Mum's never forced me into anything which in one way is good, but on the other hand hasn't done me any favours as I just haven't done it! :redface:

Reply 17

Angelil

19

I had a very good childhood.
I was very lucky. I had wonderful birthdays and Christmasses and holidays, a dad who works hard and a mum who for many years stayed at home to look after us and then instead of going back to work for the bank went to work in a school so that she could have the holidays to be with us.
I've been taught decent morals and the value of money. My parents were strict but only had my happiness and welfare in mind. I was smacked from time to time as a child, but I was an awkward little horror and it didn't do me any harm.
My mother usually stuck up for me (fobbing off my friends if I'd had a fight with them and didn't want to talk to them for example, and giving them a piece of her mind if she saw fit...OK maybe not the best example but much appreciated at the time!) and she gave my primary school hell when at age 5 they tried to give me books with no words in when I'd been reading for 2 years.
It wasn't perfect from the point of view that I was a vegetarian for a couple of years, and I've been a Christian for 8 years, and none of my immediate family subscribe to these beliefs. Because my parents admit that they are intolerant and a bit on the racist side, this caused undue friction which upset me greatly, and I have every reason to believe that the arguments that I had with my parents on these issues damaged my relationship with them for a few years. My mother also made a few decisions on my behalf which I think were bad decisions (eg. forcibly stopping my friendship with my best friend, who happened to be a Jehovah's Witness, just because we would talk about religion from time to time and my mother believed that this friend was trying to convert me. This consequently lost me one of my greatest friends because of my mother's rash actions.).
HOWEVER despite these 'hiccups' I think I've turned out fine. I work hard, have realistic ambitions and live sensibly (well....mostly...). I am also very lucky to have a huge amount of emotional and financial support from my parents and I fully believe that I've been given the best start in life. I'm a lucky girl.