Settling Down

OK, as most of you probably know, I'm gay...

But there's a problem, being that - I can't see myself ever settling down with a woman. I'm sexually and emotionally attracted to women, in every way. But men, I see as only friends. But whenever I see myself in the future I think of myself as having a husband?? :confused:

It's just wierd for me, I've never been attracted to guys as more than friends, never fantasised about a guy - and yet I want to end up with one?? :confused:

Or maybe it's more the fact that I just can't picture being with a woman long term?? :confused:

It just confuses me as to what I really want...

Reply 1

Chickadee

It might be because thats what society has always told us we should do. It everywhere...on tv, in ads, in books, in music etc etc. Right from when we were young its been something we would see ourselves eventually doing because thats what we think we should do.

It might also be a case of finding exactly the right girl for you. You will probably fall spectacularly in love with the right girl and then that will sort things out in your mind a bit more :smile:

Best of luck
xx

Reply 2

*Farfalla*

2

SW

OK, as most of you probably know, I'm gay...

But there's a problem, being that - I can't see myself ever settling down with a woman. I'm sexually and emotionally attracted to women, in every way. But men, I see as only friends. But whenever I see myself in the future I think of myself as having a husband?? :confused:

It's just wierd for me, I've never been attracted to guys as more than friends, never fantasised about a guy - and yet I want to end up with one?? :confused:

Or maybe it's more the fact that I just can't picture being with a woman long term?? :confused:

It just confuses me as to what I really want...

I reckon what someone said above is true - society has instilled a sterotype that is everywhere - tv, newspapers, books etc.... it's only natural that you you have a part fo you that maybe wants to comply with this stereotype or just find the idea of being with a woman unimaginable because gay couples are not publicised positively most of the time.

I'm bi-curious and can also only imagine ending uo with a husband and 2.4 kids but I still have no idea what i want - for all i know i might meet a woman who blows my mind and i want to be with forever - either way i'm ok with it and am just gonna go with the flow.

Don't worry about it - all feelings are normal so just let them be and see where life takes you! x

Reply 3

SilverWings

OP

14

Indu.Mitra

you're probably not fasinated or interested in guys because the guys you've come across, especially at ur age won't be that intresting.

I see and meet different guys of all ranges of ages all the time, I mean, the majority of my friends out of college are male

I wouldn't worry about it too much, in the next ten years you'll come acorss many different people and your views and perceptions of things will change, as everything in time does.

Yeah, I guess so, perhaps soon I'll realise that settling down with a woman isn't all that scary?? :confused:

Just focus on the here and now. Its like driving, you can't see three miles ahead of you, and if youre wondering what it would be like miles ahead you'll lose track of the road your on now.

NEver thought about it like that, that puts a whole new perspective on things!! :biggrin:

Thanks

Reply 4

Lush Law

15

I know exactly what you mean SW. I used to think this all the time but now I've realised that in the long term I'll grow up, my attitudes will change and develop and I'll meet the right person. Theres no reason you can't and won't settle down.

Reply 5

TKR

15

That' social conditioning for you chuckerfeller (probably). Well I can't say I have the same problem - I've never really imagined myself with a woman in the future - in fact the idea is absolutely positively bizarre. The only person I can see myself settling down with right now is my beautiful hubby*. Give it time and you'll probably shake off the weirdness of settleage!

*read boyfriend

Settling Down

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