Are there any closet gay/bi guys on this forum? Watch

bi-22
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#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Do you think you'll ever come out in the future? Do you find it hard not being able to speak to anyone in real life about it? I am in that situation, so if you think you could do with a chat, please get in touch and I'd be happy to chat about anything.
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biguy22
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#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
Me :ninja:
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HortyNarcissus
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#3
Report 7 years ago
#3
Some of my friends know, don't think I will tell my parents until its unavoidable but there is a 50% chance I won't have to
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TheBlackMonster
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#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
yup...it's bad because I started uni this year and I still haven't told anyone
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Photox
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#5
Report 7 years ago
#5
I'm out and about about being gay, but before you shun me for not belonging in this thread I just wanna say that coming out is never as strenuous as you'll make it seem in your head. All those people you think will judge you, wont care, all those people who love you will carry on loving you, those people who you 'know' will hate you, 90% of them wont, they might judge a little, they might snigger, that might even jeer at you, but that's there problem not yours and you need only deal with it one person at a time, it might sit in your mind, but they wont remember when your not around, for them it'll be a spontaneous thing that they just do, and if it does sit in their mind that SOMEONE ELSE is gay or bi, then what does that say about them, in my experience, probably that they are bi or gay, or that they've had an experience which they regret and are trying to distance themselves from it. That leaves the 10% of the 2% that might actually wish you harm, and trust me in reality it'll be alot fewer than that in practice, well you have an army of people from those that love you to those who don't care but have the moral competence to defend someone who is being persecuted because of their sexuality. You dont need to come out quickly, you dont need to make a song and dance about it, the first step you don't even need to tell anyone persay, but, if someone asks then just say 'yeah as a matter of fact, i am' if they've asked kindly then they'll be expecting a yes, so it wont shock them, allow other people to spread that information, it easier. Remember if your gay its not like any other rumours, other rumours can go, for example, from 'kissing in the bushes after school' to 'full on sex in the changing rooms' or something crazy like that, but someone telling someone else that your gay cant be screwed around and made to sound different, it is what it is so the rumour will remain almost exactly as you started it, that way you can start assuming that everyone knows and you've only had to tell, indirectly at best, one person that you are, if people are surprised when you assume that they knew, your pretty much guaranteed that someone else will know so will back you up with things like 'yeah course he is, didn't you know' directed at the surprised person. Coming out needn't be stressful, it is a wonderful if difficult process, a bit, ironically, like birth, it difficult, but wonderful and you'll open up all the opportunities in the world, a life time of good experiences. Right now, so much of your frustration comes from not being able to be in the relationship, with that special guy, from not being able to tell the gorgeous, out guy that you fancy the pants off of him, coming out gives you that, its glorious, and fantastic, its such a weight lifted, and its a strengthening life experience, its unique to being gay or bi, having to tell a secret to the world is difficult, the difficulty sets you up wonderful to be a more open person, a more loving partner, and just generally, a genuinely better person.

tl;dr
Coming out is freaking awesome, do it
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TheBlackMonster
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#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
(Original post by Photox)
I'm out and about about being gay, but before you shun me for not belonging in this thread I just wanna say that coming out is never as strenuous as you'll make it seem in your head. All those people you think will judge you, wont care, all those people who love you will carry on loving you, those people who you 'know' will hate you, 90% of them wont, they might judge a little, they might snigger, that might even jeer at you, but that's there problem not yours and you need only deal with it one person at a time, it might sit in your mind, but they wont remember when your not around, for them it'll be a spontaneous thing that they just do, and if it does sit in their mind that SOMEONE ELSE is gay or bi, then what does that say about them, in my experience, probably that they are bi or gay, or that they've had an experience which they regret and are trying to distance themselves from it. That leaves the 10% of the 2% that might actually wish you harm, and trust me in reality it'll be alot fewer than that in practice, well you have an army of people from those that love you to those who don't care but have the moral competence to defend someone who is being persecuted because of their sexuality. You dont need to come out quickly, you dont need to make a song and dance about it, the first step you don't even need to tell anyone persay, but, if someone asks then just say 'yeah as a matter of fact, i am' if they've asked kindly then they'll be expecting a yes, so it wont shock them, allow other people to spread that information, it easier. Remember if your gay its not like any other rumours, other rumours can go, for example, from 'kissing in the bushes after school' to 'full on sex in the changing rooms' or something crazy like that, but someone telling someone else that your gay cant be screwed around and made to sound different, it is what it is so the rumour will remain almost exactly as you started it, that way you can start assuming that everyone knows and you've only had to tell, indirectly at best, one person that you are, if people are surprised when you assume that they knew, your pretty much guaranteed that someone else will know so will back you up with things like 'yeah course he is, didn't you know' directed at the surprised person. Coming out needn't be stressful, it is a wonderful if difficult process, a bit, ironically, like birth, it difficult, but wonderful and you'll open up all the opportunities in the world, a life time of good experiences. Right now, so much of your frustration comes from not being able to be in the relationship, with that special guy, from not being able to tell the gorgeous, out guy that you fancy the pants off of him, coming out gives you that, its glorious, and fantastic, its such a weight lifted, and its a strengthening life experience, its unique to being gay or bi, having to tell a secret to the world is difficult, the difficulty sets you up wonderful to be a more open person, a more loving partner, and just generally, a genuinely better person.

tl;dr
Coming out is freaking awesome, do it
haha, nice post. I liked the tl;dr part as well.
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