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    I couldn't wait to start uni and meet new people. But now i'm here i feel left out. We've been here a month and loads of friendship groups have already formed. I wonder if i've missed my chance to make friends.

    Was just wondering if anyone else feels like this?
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    If you play piano you can be my friend.
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    I was exactly the same, I felt ready to move away from my home town because i'd just got bored and needed to stretch away and find new people with a fresh start. Freshers week was alright and I had people to join along with. But since then it feels like every one has got dead close - and it is at the point now where I feel weird if I just go and turn up and feel like i'm intruding =[ Everyone arranges to go out all the time, and are always like 'oh you should come with us next time we go out', and I say yeah just let me know when - but I never get that text, but see them going out on facebook. It really is effecting me wanting to stay at university.. which is a shame because I really want to do this, the whole university thing and prove it to myself that I could. But I'm just sitting in my room by myself, and its got so hard to push myself out of my room because I kind of intimidated by the groups now. I just feel kind of.. forgotten. I was always told university was all inclusive and, yes I see that.. so now i'm questioning if there must be something REALLY wrong with me and thats why everyone seems to be accepted - bar me.
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    I'm sorry to hear you're both having a bad time, what are you studying? I'm at CCCU as well, this is actually my second attempt at uni, I dropped out the first time because I wasn't having a great time socially. I have to say i'm pretty quiet and find it hard to meet new people sometimes, but i'm quite lucky that I decided to share a house with other girls which kind of forces me to socialise.

    Are you both in halls? Is it a case of you haven't met anyone in your class or accomodation or both?
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    (Original post by Sami1992t)
    I was exactly the same, I felt ready to move away from my home town because i'd just got bored and needed to stretch away and find new people with a fresh start. Freshers week was alright and I had people to join along with. But since then it feels like every one has got dead close - and it is at the point now where I feel weird if I just go and turn up and feel like i'm intruding =[ Everyone arranges to go out all the time, and are always like 'oh you should come with us next time we go out', and I say yeah just let me know when - but I never get that text, but see them going out on facebook. It really is effecting me wanting to stay at university.. which is a shame because I really want to do this, the whole university thing and prove it to myself that I could. But I'm just sitting in my room by myself, and its got so hard to push myself out of my room because I kind of intimidated by the groups now. I just feel kind of.. forgotten. I was always told university was all inclusive and, yes I see that.. so now i'm questioning if there must be something REALLY wrong with me and thats why everyone seems to be accepted - bar me.
    Are you an introvert by any chance? Just wondering.
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    (Original post by Matteo1)
    Are you an introvert by any chance? Just wondering.
    I wouldn't say introvert, I can be very sociable. In fact, back home i'm never really at home. I am always out. - which can be a cause for arguments with the parents. But I guess that's why its hit me even more so that i'm suddenly not out all the time. I don't really tend to get nervous about new situations , i'd say in the past couple of years i've really developed in confidence and am very independent. If I meet people on my wavelength i'm absolutely fine and can usually make a good impression. I mean i'm not the kind of person who shouts and howls in laughter to get my point across - unfortunately these are the kind of people who are on my corridor. Although they're only having fun it kind of backs me into a corner of feeling a little bit intimidated by it and feel if I mix with it I only get shouted over any way. I do however find it harder to be 'me' and 'chatty' when there is a big group of people i'm trying to befriend - That may be a sign of introvert i'm not sure? But i'm definitely not an extrovert. Yes, I probably do like my own personal space at university, more than most people here .. who seem to always be in each others faces. But I don't think that's me being particularly anti-social, just I have QTS and english language degree - So I have a few more seminars/lectures than most so I like to come back and chill out for a bit. I also definitely would go meet people, spend time with them etc. if they kind of remembered me, and invited me? I wouldn't turn an invite down unless I couldn't afford it/was ill, because I'm someone who likes to seize every opportunity. It's just got to the stage where I don't want to be like 'Can I come with you?', because I feel like I shouldn't have to still be tagging along 6 weeks in :/ Meh.:confused: Who knows maybe I am slowly developing into a Hermit :turtle:

    P.s sorry about the long rant, especially if they aren't even relating to the term 'introvert'
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    I totally understand where you're coming from. Christmas of my first year at CCCU was particularly tough, I felt left out and forgotten. I started a relationship in the early months of my first year so spend a lot of time with my boyfriend which possibly set me apart from the girls i lived with but was also a godsend.
    I chose my 2nd year house very early into my first year, and just stuck to people who were around. However, now i struggle to get on with my housemates and have opted out of living with them next year. However, this has left me stuck because I'm struggling to see who I'll live with next year. My closer friends, on my course, are all settled and more than happy to stay with who they're with. I don't want to enter my 3rd year in a house full of horrible people.
    I think, you have to remember to be true to yourself. It's very hard when you feel like you're apart from everyone but you'll be thankful for it in the long run. One bit of advice I would strongly suggest is that you DON'T decide on a 2nd year house with people you currently live with for the sake of it. Your friendship groups change a lot after Christmas and into the 2nd year, you end up building better bonds with those on your course. Moreso than those that you live with.

    As a side note, if anyone is interested in searching for next years house with me then please feel free to contact me. As i've said, I have a boyfriend who spends a lot of time with me. I'm a pretty outgoing person around people of a similar mind, I play the oboe (when I can be bothered), I'm a sociology student, I like a good night out but only once in awhile (I'm not one of these people who goes out 2/3 nights a week! Once or twice a month is more my thing), I love movie nights in and cooking for people, I'm a very busy student so I'm always coming and going. If you're interested then either contact me on [mod edit - don't give out e-mail addresses or phone numbers]

    Remember, don't stress and be yourself That's honestly the best advice I can give.
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    (Original post by Sami1992t)
    I wouldn't say introvert, I can be very sociable. In fact, back home i'm never really at home. I am always out. - which can be a cause for arguments with the parents. But I guess that's why its hit me even more so that i'm suddenly not out all the time. I don't really tend to get nervous about new situations , i'd say in the past couple of years i've really developed in confidence and am very independent. If I meet people on my wavelength i'm absolutely fine and can usually make a good impression. I mean i'm not the kind of person who shouts and howls in laughter to get my point across - unfortunately these are the kind of people who are on my corridor. Although they're only having fun it kind of backs me into a corner of feeling a little bit intimidated by it and feel if I mix with it I only get shouted over any way. I do however find it harder to be 'me' and 'chatty' when there is a big group of people i'm trying to befriend - That may be a sign of introvert i'm not sure? But i'm definitely not an extrovert. Yes, I probably do like my own personal space at university, more than most people here .. who seem to always be in each others faces. But I don't think that's me being particularly anti-social, just I have QTS and english language degree - So I have a few more seminars/lectures than most so I like to come back and chill out for a bit. I also definitely would go meet people, spend time with them etc. if they kind of remembered me, and invited me? I wouldn't turn an invite down unless I couldn't afford it/was ill, because I'm someone who likes to seize every opportunity. It's just got to the stage where I don't want to be like 'Can I come with you?', because I feel like I shouldn't have to still be tagging along 6 weeks in :/ Meh.:confused: Who knows maybe I am slowly developing into a Hermit :turtle:

    P.s sorry about the long rant, especially if they aren't even relating to the term 'introvert'
    It's alright. I was just wondering because I kind of feel the same way you do and I'm definitely not an extrovert.

    Take a look at this article and if any of these apply to you then you are probably an introvert:

    http://owlcityblog.com/2011/06/27/10...ut-introverts/
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    (Original post by Matteo1)
    It's alright. I was just wondering because I kind of feel the same way you do and I'm definitely not an extrovert.

    Take a look at this article and if any of these apply to you then you are probably an introvert:

    http://owlcityblog.com/2011/06/27/10...ut-introverts/
    'Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.'

    This particularly struck a cord with me, I didn't realize it but I do tend to want to connect to one person at a time.. weird! But very interesting
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    (Original post by Sami1992t)
    'Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.'

    This particularly struck a cord with me, I didn't realize it but I do tend to want to connect to one person at a time.. weird! But very interesting
    Sometimes you don't really realize something until someone actually tells you, or unless you read about it.

    I've only recently found out about the two terms, introvert and extrovert, and I am definitely an introvert from what I've read so far. If this didn't really make sense or if it wouldn't match my personality I would of called bull**** and not bothered about it ages ago because I don't like beating around the bush. But after reading bits a pieces of information it looks like the two terms really make their point.

    Edit: It would be interesting to find out what you think of the other points in that article.
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    (Original post by Matteo1)
    Sometimes you don't really realize something until someone actually tells you, or unless you read about it.

    I've only recently found out about the two terms, introvert and extrovert, and I am definitely an introvert from what I've read so far. If this didn't really make sense or if it wouldn't match my personality I would of called bull**** and not bothered about it ages ago because I don't like beating around the bush. But after reading bits a pieces of information it looks like the two terms really make their point.

    Edit: It would be interesting to find out what you think of the other points in that article.
    I knew of them, but I guess i always thought there were negative connotations involved with introvert.. the ones he listed mainly. I mean I can count a lot of people worse than me - because I do challenge myself and push myself out of the shell a lot, so I don't know I guess I always just thought I was neither. But things like putting my hand up in class, I've never really wanted to do - but if I'm spoken to directly I talk absolutely fine. But I do agree it isolates you a lot.. All these people on my floor shouting over each other - and I just don't want to be a part of that ..=[ hmm.
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    (Original post by Sami1992t)
    All these people on my floor shouting over each other - and I just don't want to be a part of that ..=[ hmm.
    But I bet that if you had good connection with those people, you would definitely not mind being part of the shouting over each other scene, not because of the shouting but because of the fun and laughter that it brings. I hope that made sense.
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    OMG I am totally feeling this way as well, but I think its because I am still looking for accommodation and so I still commute from London to Canterbury on a daily basis. Everyone on my course has formed bonds with each other and I totally feel so left out and out of place.
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    (Original post by LizzieF)
    I'm sorry to hear you're both having a bad time, what are you studying? I'm at CCCU as well, this is actually my second attempt at uni, I dropped out the first time because I wasn't having a great time socially. I have to say i'm pretty quiet and find it hard to meet new people sometimes, but i'm quite lucky that I decided to share a house with other girls which kind of forces me to socialise.

    Are you both in halls? Is it a case of you haven't met anyone in your class or accomodation or both?
    I'm in the student village thats 20 minutes away from the uni and i've met loads of people at my accomodation just i feel like an outsider with them and on my course i'v met people i've just not clicked with anyone

    I'm studying sociology with media and cultural studies
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    Hey, I'm a first year student studying English and American Literature at Kent (Canterbury campus). I'm looking for people to share with in a house close to the university next year (I've been unfortunate that I don't click with my house mates). I like to think I'm friendly and easy-going. I do my work but I'm not a complete social reject if you give me a chance!! I LOVE David Bowie (I think I should state this) and I'm learning to cook so go me!

    I'm also pretty tidy and I don't smoke. I don't mind living with people who do as long as we allocate one room to that particular cause!

    If you're interested in house-hunting with me then please feel free to message me. I don't bite!

    Amelia

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    (Original post by Miss_Becca)
    I couldn't wait to start uni and meet new people. But now i'm here i feel left out. We've been here a month and loads of friendship groups have already formed. I wonder if i've missed my chance to make friends.

    Was just wondering if anyone else feels like this?
    Yes, this was me last year, except I go to Uni of Kent. I had mixed feelings about uni - it was my insurance and I didn't even visit it on any open days nor had I ever visited Canterbury in my life. I thought I would make lots of friends but I missed freshers because I was on holiday and when I got to uni all my flatmates in halls knew each other and got on really well. I felt really left out and was thinking about dropping out or transferring to a uni closer to home and used to complain to my friends and family all the time. I didn't make any friends for a good month or so until I got talking to this girl in my lecture who then became one of my closest friends and then she introduced me to some of her friends too. We started going out often and I kept myself busy so started to enjoy it. I think you should give it time and maybe join some societies or sit next to different people in lectures and try to make conversation.
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    (Original post by Miss_Becca)
    I couldn't wait to start uni and meet new people. But now i'm here i feel left out. We've been here a month and loads of friendship groups have already formed. I wonder if i've missed my chance to make friends.

    Was just wondering if anyone else feels like this?
    don't worry i am a little to :/ i told my family i wanted to drop out but they said no the people on my course are nice, its just i don't really know how to approach them and they've pretty much got their own groups now buuut there is a social going on this week which i'm going to so hopefully i'll be able to pluck up the courage to actually speak to someone haha! Just try your best to be friendly and helpful make yourself appear more approachable if you aren't brave enough to go up to someone yourself. Best of luck!
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    hello, sorry I know this is an old thread, but I am trying to find out information about a weekly timetable for an English Literature student? I am looking to commute from north kent and would be extremely grateful if someone could display an example as to when lectures start etc, so I would know what traint to catch and so on.

    it would be so helpful, because I really want to come cccu! thankyou
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    I used to be shy, so I know what I'm talking about. Sorry but the only good advice I can give you is: CHANGE!!! People won't ever be begging to be friends with you, ever. It's always you who have to make the first step and put more effort into making friends and making people like you. Maybe one day just go and ask them if they want to go out with you, be the one asking them, don't wait for them to ask you, cos that might never happen.

    I used to be shy and I used to blame people around me for not wanting to socialize with me. That was about 4 years ago. Then I realized that actually, it wasn't their fault - it was my fault. Then I started being a bit more fun and outspoken, people started liking me, and that really boosted my self esteem and my confidence. Now I make friends easily, because I know I can be fun. I'm not shy anymore, I'll talk to anyone about anything. Some people find it harder than others being in a completely new enviroment away from home and people you've been friends with for years. It's not always easy, but sometimes you just have to pretend that you're having a good time even though you're not - nobody likes a miserable quiet person. Honestly, don't be shy, show them that by not inviting you they are missing out big time Good luck!
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    I'm hoping to start Canterbury this April, but I am a mature student and this will be my second time as I did a degree at Bath Spa in the 90s. I was bullied quite horrificly at uni and lost my confidence, went from an outgoing girl to an emotional wreck. Now I'm at an age, where I try not to care too much. If people don't like you, that's their problem and not yours. There is nothing wrong with being shy or outgoing, you are who you are and uni ought to be fun as well as serious.
    Don't let anybody drag you down, because life is too short and remember we're a long time old and an even longer time dead. It isn't easy at times and people can be real *******s, but let them get on with it. Try to join clubs or go to a gym or something, they can really help. Get a part time job? Maybe? Honestly you can have a life outside of uni too and that makes you all the more richer. I had a couple of uni friends, but most of them I found outside of uni. My circle of friends is from work, networking, working overseas and alsorts, you surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and it isn't a contest.
    Just because Charlie (example) has 500 friends on Facebook it doesn't mean they have that many in real life and actually you can count your true friends on one hand. I may be a bit of a fossil (in the typical 18 year old student's eyes), but actually I think it makes sense and to be honest, you get to a stage, where you accept things and learn not to care. It's not forever anyhow, just enjoy your time there!
    Hope it's been a bit of help????
 
 
 
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