Is this essay intro OK?

Watch this thread
Mrkingpenguin
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
answer obtained please delete thread
1
reply
penko
Badges: 10
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
I'd put the first sentence at the end of the paragraph. Try not to say the full title of the book too much, its a bit wordy, and you've used 'manipulate' twice and repeated your point. Just try to make it flow a bit better.
0
reply
digestives
Badges: 0
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
Is this GCSE or A level? First sentence starts off well, however, the 2nd and third sentence essentially say the same. Try not to use the same word more than once, especially in the same paragraph, dive more into themes and answer the question. The introduction should sum up your essay without narrating the play.
1
reply
Mrkingpenguin
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#4
(Original post by digestives)
Is this GCSE or A level? First sentence starts off well, however, the 2nd and third sentence essentially say the same. Try not to use the same word more than once, especially in the same paragraph, dive more into themes and answer the question. The introduction should sum up your essay without narrating the play.
GCSE first draft
0
reply
honestly
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
(Original post by Mrkingpenguin)
Hey I've got a practice coursework essay on the real inspector hound- I struggle with essay intro's so any advice would be appreciated on my first attempt(intro below)

Stoppard manipulates various expectations and styles to create dramatic effect in ‘The Real Inspector Hound’. ‘The Real Inspector Hound’ is an absurdist satirical parody of the exemplar ‘whodunit’ genre popularised by Agatha Christie in the early 20th Century. Stoppard in ‘The Real Inspector Hound’ manipulates our expectations of the play, the ‘whodunit’ genre and the dialogue to create a fictional reality as well as comic effect.
I'm impressed that you have tried to work hard on your essay. Repetition, title of the book and the the first sentence should go to the end... work to do, but keep trying...

honestly
0
reply
username196545
Badges: 19
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 10 years ago
#6
Sounds like you've copied your teacher verbatim; "an absurdist satirical parody of the exemplar ‘whodunit’ genre popularised by Agatha Christie in the early 20th Century". And it's not really an intro, more the middle of a paragraph.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your AQA Combined Science - Biology Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - Feeling positive (37)
35.24%
The paper was reasonable (40)
38.1%
Not feeling great about that exam... (17)
16.19%
It was TERRIBLE (11)
10.48%

Watched Threads

View All