Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm in final year, living with a girl who I knew already from a uni society, in a 2-bed flat which is about the size of a shoebox and quite run-down but for a pretty extortionate rent because we are in a very nice area.. I had always found her to be a nice person and not the type to be partying until 5am every night so I thought she'd be reliable to live with.
    She got bullied a lot at high school apparently and also at uni which I recently found out. This girl has never lived away from home before as she lived in the university town but her parents have relocated, so it's now too far for her to commute every day. I lived with other people last year (who I didn't know until I moved in) but this year they're on placements etc., but I was a bit wary of living with a friend as I was worried it would be a much different experience to just seeing her round uni and stuff, but I didn't really have anywhere else, so I agreed, and I thought it'd be pleasant, maybe I was naive.
    I was right, things like cooking, cleaning, sorting out bills etc. are completely alien to her, and seems to be largely my responsibility, which I resent. I don't think she has used the oven since we moved in, and claims she 'doesn't know how to use it', even though I demonstrated how to, and it is ridiculously easy. I don't mind what she eats, but she's tried to get me to keep eating out with her, but I just had to be firm with her and tell her that it's too expensive. I tried to offer her some of my cooking, but she always refused. She never cleans anything like the bathroom or kitchen, and seems to think it will magically clean itself.
    She seems to think money grows on trees, and has never worked before despite being almost 22. She used to live in a rich suburb of the area as an only child and I think she is used to luxury (probably why she tried to persuade me to live in this rich area with her and tried to convince me it was a bargain even though it's a rip-off) and having everything done for her, whereas I am not, I used to live in one of the 'rough' areas, have worked for the past 7 years during school and uni, shop in charity shops, Primark etc. so I think I'm just easily irritated by her, though she probably doesn't deserve it.
    She always 'forgets' when there is something important that needs sorting. The other week, our landlord was coming over to talk to us about the internet so I told her we needed to be in, and reminded her a couple of times. Of course, she 'forgot' about it and was out with a friend, and it was left to me as usual.
    She is never on time for anything we do, despite the fact that I always try to be on time for her. She would probably be late to her own funeral.
    She is understandably homesick, but sometimes she just does not give me enough space. She loves to talk, about anything and everything, and will send me a text when i'm in the next room asking 'if i'm ok', 'what am I doing' etc. even though she only saw me about an hour ago.. she also has only done her washing once in the past month. She never seems to do any uni work and always asks me to go places even when I tell her I have work to do.
    We also live in a very historical place, where there is plenty to see and do. Despite this, she never suggests anything to see or do that's different, and every time I try to suggest stuff, she's just like “I don't know”, and I feel like it's always me who has to come up with everything. Sometimes, she keeps me up late at night talking loudly and laughing loudly on the phone even though with my timetable I have to be in at 9 most days, whereas sometimes she doesn't even get up until past noon.
    I do like her and I'm sure she finds me annoying too, but I don't know what to do, I look forward to lectures because it gives me a break from her. Am I just nasty or is this understandable? I just wish we hadn't moved in together because it's so different from last year when I only saw her at uni and stuff.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    ***** gotta get told!











    By that I mean you should confront and talk to her rather than keeping it to yourself, and explaining why and what she does that you think needs to change/bothers you.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Have you tried actually talking to her about it? Maybe you should just show her this thread.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've tried talking to her about some of the things but not others, but instead giving hints about them. I just find it hard because she is a very sensitive person and seems to get offended/upset easily. But I should try more..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    If you want an indicator, the first day we moved she cried about seven or eight times.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I think somebody has a crush on somebody
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Are you male OP?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Nah i'm female, why?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you want an indicator, the first day we moved she cried about seven or eight times.
    Why? :confused:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by facetious)
    Why? :confused:
    She just seemed very depressed about moving out... maybe because she's so used to being at home.. and I think she's a very emotional person too.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe she's just lost. Let her be by herself. She'll get it soon.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Others who don't live with us seem to act like she's some kind of bunny rabbit; all cute, sweet, and lovely, which makes me feel like a proper b**ch. :s
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    You've mentioned that she is 22 and never lived away from home and is used to her home comforts and such like. If you put yourself in that position, having never had to lift a finger, then you would struggle too. Perhaps sit her down, and tell her like it is, and just say something along the lines of '' i understand that your homesick, and therefore not experienced the responsibility of looking after yourself, so can we discuss ways to make it easier for the both of us, so that you are sharing some of the responsibility and learning, and its easier on me'' and then devise some sort of plan.

    But don't worry about things that don't affect you, like her using the cooker or her washing because thats her stuff that doesn't directly affect you but the other stuff does.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2011
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.