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missing boyfriend...wanting ex...

I need some advice from someone that doesn't know me..

Anyway, I'v been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 7 months and I love him to bits, i can't imagine being without him but recently I'v been having feelings for a friend. I havn't seen my boyfriend properly since christmas due to exams etc...so i don't know whether it's just because I havn't seen him or what, but it's really getting to me.
Now heres the juicy bit, the guy I'm beginning to have feelins for is an ex boyfriend :rolleyes:

we didn't speak for a while but in the last couple of months we've got quite close again, we have such a laugh together and ever since christmas I'v found myself unbelievably attracted to him.

Me and my boyfriend have had a bit of a bad time recently as he's worried about me going to uni etc... but everytime i think about losing him it kills me. But on the otherhand if my ex kissed me or anything i know i'd kiss him back.. :redface:

I'm so confused, is it because i havn't seen my bf for a while? is it because we've been together so long that things like this are bound to happen? Or is this a sign the relationships run it's course? :frown:

I need some straight forward honest advice, I'v asked all my friends but I don#t really wanna tell them the whole storey.

Please help?

EDIT : this isn't a post about whether or not i should end it with my boyfriend to be with my ex, just whether or not these feelings are normal after being with someone for so long and if anyone else has had similar experiences... :smile:

Reply 1

Singh_87

15

Ummm...how was ur relationship with your ex? was it serious and a long relationship? it could just be that because of your exams, you've obviously been unable to see your boyfriend, and so have missed him and the feelings you have when you are with him, and because your ex has been there, you're beginning to regain those feelings? it might just be that you wanted that back, and because your ex was there, you feel like this..? personally, id wait till you see your boyfriend again, and see what you feel then...you've been with your boyfriend a long time, and you wouldnt want to ruin it over confused feelings, if u understand me? hope it helps, Sunny

Reply 2

.:fluff:.

OP

1

Singh_87

Ummm...how was ur relationship with your ex? was it serious and a long relationship? it could just be that because of your exams, you've obviously been unable to see your boyfriend, and so have missed him and the feelings you have when you are with him, and because your ex has been there, you're beginning to regain those feelings? it might just be that you wanted that back, and because your ex was there, you feel like this..? personally, id wait till you see your boyfriend again, and see what you feel then...you've been with your boyfriend a long time, and you wouldnt want to ruin it over confused feelings, if u understand me? hope it helps, Sunny

thanks.

Me and my ex were together about 2 years, it ended quite badly so we didnt speak for a while then got close again about a year ago. Yeah that makes sense to me :smile:

I'm just really confused because i confided in one of my best friends and he said "well you obviously don't love chris because you've got feelings for this other guy" so it got me thinking :frown:

Reply 3

Singh_87

15

well what your friend has said is true, but to be honest, of course you're going to have feelings for your ex still, you were with him for 2 years, it might not be the same feelings as before, but obviously you're bound to still care for him...so i would take your time and think it through, and now your exams are over you will have a clear mind to think about it...gd luck, sunny :smile:

Reply 4

.:fluff:.

OP

1

If only life could be simple... :frown:

Reply 5

Ferrus

19

.:fluff:.

If only life could be simple... :frown:

It would be tedious.

Reply 6

.:fluff:.

OP

1

It would be tedious.

Indded you are right my good friend, indeed you are right... :rolleyes:

Reply 7

Ferrus

19

.:fluff:.

Indded you are right my good friend, indeed you are right... :rolleyes:

Why the rolled eyes, it would be. Life's excitement derives from its conflicts and passions.

Reply 8

.:fluff:.

OP

1

oh, sorry i didn't mean i was disagreeing with you, Just rolling my eyes at how hard life has to be just to keep us all guessing at whats coming around the corner and how it can never be easy when we want it to be.. :wink:

Reply 9

AnilTaneja

I don't think that the relationship has run its course, however, there does seem to be a little problem here (no DUH! :p:

)Anyways, I think that you should really speak to your bf to start meeting you more often. You don't want to completely lose feelings for him, so I mean he should make an effort. My gf and I have been having the same problem lately, but I told her today that we have to see each other despite exams, otherwise it will end.

Reply 10

pumpkin7

13

stick with your boyfriend. don't go for your ex.. he is an ex for a reason.

Reply 11

.:fluff:.

OP

1

how did u and ur ex get back in contact again? before u lost contact were u on good terms?

Didn't really end on any terms, we were quite young but i suppose i'v always had a thing for him all the way through high school..

Reply 12

Scarlett_Jewel

1

Singh_87

well what your friend has said is true,

i disagree. I can be in love with someone and still have feelings for others.

It's different for everyone, so what her friend says is not necessarily true at all.

Reply 13

.:fluff:.

OP

1

I don't think that the relationship has run its course, however, there does seem to be a little problem here (no DUH! )Anyways, I think that you should really speak to your bf to start meeting you more often. You don't want to completely lose feelings for him, so I mean he should make an effort. My gf and I have been having the same problem lately, but I told her today that we have to see each other despite exams, otherwise it will end.

completely understand what your saying, my exams ended on monday but i told him i would see hom on saturday so i could just get my head round this first (might not have been the best idea..lol). It's difficult because he's not the studious type, he hated school and even though he had the potential he just didn't do well. He's got a great job now but he say's he doesn't want me to make the same mistakes he did, hence why we have exam period "apart"...

stick with your boyfriend. don't go for your ex.. he is an ex for a reason

thats an extremely good point.. but

maybe they needed time apart cos they weren't right for one another then but are now.

also an equally good point. Even though i love my boyfriend to bits I get so confused about this... :frown:

Reply 14

.:fluff:.

I need some advice from someone that doesn't know me..

Anyway, I'v been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 7 months and I love him to bits, i can't imagine being without him but recently I'v been having feelings for a friend. I havn't seen my boyfriend properly since christmas due to exams etc...so i don't know whether it's just because I havn't seen him or what, but it's really getting to me.
Now heres the juicy bit, the guy I'm beginning to have feelins for is an ex boyfriend :rolleyes:

we didn't speak for a while but in the last couple of months we've got quite close again, we have such a laugh together and ever since christmas I'v found myself unbelievably attracted to him.

Me and my boyfriend have had a bit of a bad time recently as he's worried about me going to uni etc... but everytime i think about losing him it kills me. But on the otherhand if my ex kissed me or anything i know i'd kiss him back.. :redface:

I'm so confused, is it because i havn't seen my bf for a while? is it because we've been together so long that things like this are bound to happen? Or is this a sign the relationships run it's course? :frown:

I need some straight forward honest advice, I'v asked all my friends but I don#t really wanna tell them the whole storey.

Please help?

You're just a dependent: you're reassured by the feeling of having a boyfriend. You have trouble affirming yourself on your own socially and living independently. To be honest, I wouldn't like to be your boyfriend: it seems like you go out with your boyfriend because you want a boyfriend, whoever that ends up being, instead of deciding you want a boyfriend because you've just met someone special.

Reply 15

.:fluff:.

OP

1

disagree. I can be in love with someone and still have feelings for others.

It's different for everyone, so what her friend says is not necessarily true at all.

thank you

thats alittle reassuring :smile:

aaah. i wish i could get back with my ex but he says he doesnt want to know me anymore. we're not at the same school or anything. guess theres no hope for me!

not neccessarily, if it ended give him time, he might come round and you two will be able to try and start things up again, don't rule anything out just yet :smile:

Reply 16

Singh_87

15

i never said you cant have feelings for other people...if you continue to read my post further before developing any judgements on me, i went onto say that she could possibly have feelings for an ex still....

Reply 17

Mark_UK

The simple answer is you need to work out what you want or which one you want, you cant have both it not fair. And I agree with what anonymous said.

Reply 18

.:fluff:.

OP

1

You're just a dependent: you're reassured by the feeling of having a boyfriend. You have trouble affirming yourself on your own socially and living independently. To be honest, I wouldn't like to be your boyfriend: it seems like you go out with your boyfriend because you want a boyfriend, whoever that ends up being, instead of deciding you want a boyfriend because you've just met someone special

I can understand where you've got that from but I reassure you that that is certainly not the case. As i've said, I love my boyfriend dearly, he is very special to me, not just because he's my boyfriend but because of things he's taught me. If i didn't care who my boyfriend was, i wouldn't be in such a mess over this situation would I? I am also a very independent women, and before me and boyfriend did get together i always said i didn't want to be in a relationship, until I met him, and realised if i did want to be in a relationship I wanted to be in a relationship with him, nobody else. I'm am anything but dependent i promise you. But as I said, i can fully understand how I would come across like that.

i dont know sweetness. he was in a bad mood that day. its bin over a month now. i tried calling him once last week, no answer or call back. it was like when i knew what i was doing wrong it was too late to undo it, the damage had bin done and hed alreayd said he didnt want to know me anymore. i wont meet anyone with a cute nose like his again.. or that cuddled me the way he did.

ahh hun

It'll be ok. In a few weeks time you'll look back on this and giggle. If he's not even willing to talk to you then leave him to it. He'll either calm down and call you, and if not then get a big tub of ice cream, a big group of friends and have a long bithcin session, it works wonders. I hope everything gets better :smile:

--------------

The simple answer is you need to work out what you want or which one you want, you cant have both it not fair. And I agree with what anonymous said.

I don't want both of them, i only wanted to know if it was normal to get these tyep of feelings after being in a relationship for so long, not which one to choose. Nothing has happened between me and my ex, as far as i know he doesn't even know i ahev feelings for him. I'm just a little confused as to where abouts my relationship stands if this is the case :redface:

Reply 19

.:fluff:.

OP

1

call him and if he doesn't answer send him a text just sayin "i know your mad at me, but i'd really like to talk to you sometime. It can be completely on your terms but please just let me know" and see what he says...afterall whats the worst that can happen? :smile:

missing boyfriend...wanting ex...

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