Ok I'm posting this anonymously just to ensure nobody I know reads this (just making the point as the over-use of the feature unnecessarily is getting very annoying as I'm a regular on these boards)
I've been 'single' for nearly a year now (from a past 3/4 year relationship) and have actively tried to remain single - i've had a few brief 'flings' but have stressed from the very start that I didn't really want them to 'go anywhere' and indeed; I probably wouldn't have considered full-on relationships with the people involved.
I've not met anyone in the interim that I would've considered having a relationship with, until I started a new job shortly before christmas. I won't bore you with the details of why I like the person I work with so much, other than to say she has all the qualities that I've been looking for in a girlfriend plus some extra ones I didn't really even think were possible to find in a potential partner.
Looks wise she's a little out've my league, but I'm not really the sort of person to let that bother me. Just a point to note as well, I'm only 22 but she's 29 - though it may sound 'odd'/'bad' but she looks my age if not younger and certainly acts as (im)maturely myself. The main problem is: she's also got a boyfriend... and has done for a couple of months now (since *just* before I met her grr).
So I suppose you'd be thinking "why is he even thinking about her in a romantic sense?", if she's a) Entangled with another, b) More attractive and c) Older.
Well in all fairness so am I. I *didn't* think about her this way until about 2/3 weeks ago. We started talking a lot more in work about *everything* and discovered we have lots in common. She's also been texting me and msn ing me daily(ish). She's also desribed her 'ideal' partner, both looks and personality -wise to me and I don't mean to sound conceited but it *is* me. She comments on the fact I 'dress well' and how I'm 'extrememly mature'. In fact, if she *wasn't* with someone she's doing everything that a girl that is interested would seem to do . We've discussed how we conduct relationships (i.e. spending time with people, clingyness etc. etc.) and discovered we're essentially the same. She stresses to me how 'not serious' the thing with her boyfriend is on a pretty much daily basis... though they are 'exclusive'. I also mentioned this to one of my friends (her behaviour in general), then we bumped into her in the street, and he said from her body language/manner in which she acted that *he* thought that there was something there too...
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not irrational and about to say or do anything about this anytime soon (in all fairness, I'm *hoping* something will go wrong with her current bf and then I can see how things devlop) but I can't help but find myself getting more and more attracted to this girl. I think about her wayyy more than I should be - normally I'd just simply try to avoid her; not really an option in this instance.
Anyone got any ideas? Am I reading too much into her behaviour? In all fairness, over the last two month I've decided I *do* now actually want a girlfriend (previously I wanted to remain 'single' so I didn't have to be worried about a partner so I can travel after graduation, but it turns out I'm be staying at the same Uni for another few years now doing post-grad anyhow), so maybe I'm just interpreting these actions in the wrong way
Cheers for any replies...
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Co-worker atrraction watch
- 27-01-2006 11:26
- 27-01-2006 11:54
Why don't *you* just *ask* her whether she *fancies* you like *that* and ask her if *she* wants to do the *horizontal* rumpy pumpy widchu.
- 27-01-2006 12:22
Poo happens - always the way; you can never have what you want (way of life I'm afraid)
- 27-01-2006 12:32
Well, if the last two posts have left anything left to be said , its that, from what you've described, she does indeed feel the same way. I say talk ot her about it, if she feels the same then you're in, if not you lose nothing.
- 27-01-2006 12:54
It's difficult to step in because you two seem pretty *close* from what you've said, that and she's tied up with her 'boyfriend' or other close friend, however you'd like to put it. You and her friend do seem pretty sure there is something there - it's up to you really.
There probably isn't much advice that could be given, 'cept possibly asking/confiding in her. There's the risk of breaking the bond you have, but if you really feel it's worth it, go for it -
and good luck!