hospital trip tomorrow

well, one of my grandparents has been in hospital for the last couple of weeks to be treated for a bit of everything really. cancer, tumors and the resulting smaller illnesses resulting from the weakening of the immune system. anyway, to cut a long story short, an operation was carried out the other day - effectibely full on brain surgery - slight complications, and it seems as if there's not that much time left, so to speak.

as i'm at uni most of the time, yet back this weekend, i just told my dad i'd go with him to see her tomorrow. she's in a conscious state, but can't actually talk or anything really, so it could end up being quite an odd meeting.

i know that there's no clear set of instructions on how to handle such a situation, but i can't help but think it could very well be the last time i see her, and even then, it won't be the most easy situation to be in. i decided it's right to go though for her sake, and i'm definitely doing it, but i don't think i'll have ever had anything this hard to do. has anyone got any "tips" as it were on how to handle such situations? thanks.

Reply 1

Drunk_Kid_Catholic

1

I had a very similar exeperience when my grandmother died after a long illness, seeing her ill was horrible, I was 16 at the time, during my GCSEs (hence the set of results I got) and going to the hospital was not pleasant. I still remember it very vividly. I just tried to act normally, and take it in my stride. Theres not much more that anyone can ask of you. I didn't feel the effects of those few weeks until afterwards.

Reply 2

lizziegee

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, in this situation ( which will be hard) the best thing to do is to talk to her as though she was fully concious, support your dad too, he"ll need it when the time comes.xx :smile:

Reply 3

vicky600

2

yea you should just talk to her as normal.. maybe tell her how uni's going etc... she will be able to understand you and take it all in, she will be very pleased that you made the effort to go and see her.. xx

Reply 4

Your dad will be the one that suffers most, although most men try and act strong and let it pass over, he will be quite upset, specially since he will be in the same reality as you- it may be the last time to see her. So you need to be strong for him. Terribly sorry to hear what u are going through.

Reply 5

silence

OP

16

ironically, it's not so much the going through a long period part which i'm finding troublesome; i think it's just the thought of a short term encounter where i'll actually have to face up to the situation in real life, rather than in my head. also, i was thinking, however long i think there'll be left, i really should try not to let it show to her; i.e. saying stuff like "see you next time i'm down for the weekend" rather than something morbid.

Reply 6

Honeymunch

silence

also, i was thinking, however long i think there'll be left, i really should try not to let it show to her; i.e. saying stuff like "see you next time i'm down for the weekend" rather than something morbid.

When I was in a very similar situation to yours, with my Granddad, i did just that - as I left, I kissed him on the forehead, and said "I'll see you in two weeks".... even though I very much doubted I would. In fact, he passed away 5 days later...
I found it impossibly hard to be there, but you may react differently. I understand you wanting to be strong for your Dad, but don't feel you have to bottle anything up. But you are right, I think you may find it easier if you don't treat it like a final visit.

Best wishes...

Reply 7

vicky600

2

silence

ironically, it's not so much the going through a long period part which i'm finding troublesome; i think it's just the thought of a short term encounter where i'll actually have to face up to the situation in real life, rather than in my head. also, i was thinking, however long i think there'll be left, i really should try not to let it show to her; i.e. saying stuff like "see you next time i'm down for the weekend" rather than something morbid.

I understand what you mean.. my nanna was in hospital after having a second stroke, it was a major one.. but she was showing signs of getting better, the doctors said she shouldnt of been able to talk or move or anything after that.. When i left one saturday, i just kinda said to her "ill see you on monday after college because im at work 2moro.. " she mumbled "bless ya little heart"... that was the last thing i said to her n thats the last thing she said to me..
it is hard... but yeh just try be positive in the things ya say.. dont keep things bottled up either!.. xx

hospital trip tomorrow

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