The Student Room Group

Do university relationships in the same hall realistically ever work?

Hey ya'll,

Started seeing this girl in the same hall, ie a few corridoors away, and it has been great for like the first week. Being able to see her everyday, and pretty much all day but it does feel that even after a week and a bit that we are closer than we should be, obviously because we are spending so much more time together than any other traditional relationship.

But, things have started to go pretty bad. Well not bad but complicated and really serious really quickly. It feels as if we have been going out for a month or so and facing the traditional 'after honeymoon' phase and started bickering over pathetic small things. I am trying to give her space with her friends and i want space with mine but it is so hard, and like seeing eachother around the hall can be tad awkward. I also feel that because she is only a mins walk away that i never get the chance to 'miss' her as if i do i can always see her.

Anyways, a few of my friends are together in the same hall but were seeing each other before. Yes they fight quite a lot but have been going out for a long time so they kind of get over it. Since me and this girl have based our relationship on being in the same halls i don't think it will last through this volatile initial few weeks.

Do you guys think it is possible to start a long term relationship living only a few corridoors away from each other?
Reply 1
hey, i think that any relationship has the potential to work. It depends on the people in it and what they are like.

xxx
Yes it can work. I started going out with the guy who lived opposite me in halls, in the third week of my first term. We thought it might be hard, but we found that with the amount of work we both had, we were able to each find enough space, and develop our own sets of friends. It worked incredibly well, because we could see each other in the eveinings and didn't have to make huge efforts to see ecah other, if we were tired or something, because we were so close. I think that like you say, it is different to a traditional relationship - you end up practically cohabiting after a very short time, but if you're right for each other it can be amazing. We ended up moving both our beds into one room and both our desks into the other! that was pretty cool!

We are still together 15 months on :love:

My advice is keep at it, but make sure you both find space away from each other. do you do different subjects? sometimes, maybe try not seeing each other all day, and meeting in the eveining, or even the next day.

But there's no reason why it shouldn't work!
Reply 3
Yes they can work really well as long as you're careful. It's really easy to end up spending all your time together, so make sure you do plenty of things apart so you don't have much chance to start arguing about silly things. Also, as I found when I was going out with my ex who I met in halls, it was often hard to get enough time alone as there are always other people around and things can get into a routine and a tad boring like just spending time in each others rooms. So make sure you go out on proper dates and things, as when you're living so close together you kinda miss out on the whole dating thing and slip straight into a proper relationship. I loved living so close to my ex and it aso made us appreciate each other more when we were living quite far apart in the 2nd yr, and we ended up going out for about 18months until he moved to australia! :frown: :mad:
Reply 4
Yeh i get what you are saying but it is like a different kind of relationship, incompatabilities between u are magnified and seen really early on.
We are doing pretty good again, despite quite a big fight last night, so i guess i will just go with the flow.
I hope we can make it through the term :rolleyes:
Reply 5
sure
Reply 6
Course they can. One of my friends met her boyfriend due to them both living in the same flat in first year. They are now both second years living in the same house, and still going strong.
laguum
Yeh i get what you are saying but it is like a different kind of relationship, incompatabilities between u are magnified and seen really early on.
We are doing pretty good again, despite quite a big fight last night, so i guess i will just go with the flow.
I hope we can make it through the term :rolleyes:


I spent about an hour talking to one of my friends yesterday about problems he's having with his gf. They got together in pretty much the first week of university (lived on the same floor of the same hall) and have now been together for just over a year. Problem is, things are going pretty sour and he's realising that perhaps it was a mistake having such a full-on relationship so soon.

They barely knew eachother when they got together, and now he's realising that they don't actually have as much in common as they first thought, went into the whole thing too quickly and they are constantly having petty fights. He wants to try and sort it out, but feels it's going nowhere.

I guess that if you've taken the time to get to know the guy / girl in question and are sure that you actually like them (e.g. you don't simply go at it because they're the first person you meet) then I'm sure it can work. But don't rush into anything because you could end up being trapped in a very unpleasant relationship :biggrin:
jeff2233
don't simply go at it because they're the first person you meet


thats important. i worried about it at first because i'd had no experience with guys before uni, but with us it was more tthan that. we are still so good together, despite the fact that we're from opposite ends of the world. we became best friends very quickly, like, within a few days, and left it nearly a month before actually discussing our relationship and consequently goign out.
Reply 9
my boyf lives in halls this year (i'm in second) and 2 people in his flat have got together. i think its a bit strange cos they are always together, my boyf will just go out with them two, but says he doesn't really want me there somethimes when they go out cos they're his friends. which is fair enough i don't want him with my friends sometimes. but i do think its bizarre when its just the three of them and he would rather be with a couple on his own than with two couples. i hope it works for them tho cos they're all living in a house together next year. and wouldn't want to get caught in the middle of that.
My boyfriend and I live in the same halls, but we were together when we came here. We find it to be great, because we don't have to travel so far to see each other, but we were already really close before we came here and so there is no "false" closeness created.
I think that if after a week and a half you guys are already fighting and bickering, then it probably wont last. It's probably not because you're in halls together either, it's probably because you guys just aren't compatible! Sorry if that sounds harsher than it was meant to.
Some of my friends have started going out in halls and they dont bicker even though they have been together about 3 months or so now. Not just one couple, about three or four.
I think maybe you should think about why you are together with this person.
Reply 11
Well basically had an awful night tonight....and kinda broken up :frown:
Guess i gotta say from personal experience that hall relationships don't work and that there are too many complications and that is just not worth it....in her opinion anyway.
God i have gone through more with her in a few weeks than any other gf
sucks
Reply 12
Sorry to hear it didn't work out. Maybe it's for the best for the moment. Who knows? Maybe this breakup is a catalyst for a better relationship? In time, the two of you might realise that you miss each other. If not, then see it as this: the breakup is a catalyst for a better relationship with someone else. Give it time. Take care.
Didn't work for me, sorry. Can you not just be freinds for this year?
Reply 14
Yeh, me and my boyfriend live in the same flat. Its perfect :love: It has only been about 4 months but because we live together and spend all our free time together it seems like so much longer than that. Obviously I dont know whats going to happen in the future but its looking pretty positive. We will live together for the 2nd and 3rd years and are booking a holiday together for the summer.