Leaving one behind...

Hi all, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and things are really starting to come together. We haven't had the best start to our relationship but we seem to be coming onto the same wavelength. We live about 60 miles apart so don't see each other THAT much and - when we're apart our phone relationship isn't great to say the least! but when we're together nothing phases us. The problem is I'm due to start with the RAF in the coming months and am terrified of losing what we have now. He's 100% behind me and is really excited for my prospects, we've talked about coming years and more serious relationship elements further down the line. But I was wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation?

Reply 1

Eeek. Not really sure of what to say.

My brother (who's in the RAF) has just split with his fiance. They had been together for 10 years. In the end, he spent so much time elsewhere, that it eventually killed the relationship. He'd be out of the country anywhere from 6-9 months of the year. She eventually ended up having an affair. Really sad. I don't blame her really, I think they only spent one valentines day together and he was only home for her birthday once. Then again, I don't blame my brother either - she knew what his job was when they met.

That said, you already live apart, so may be the pull won't be as bad...

Reply 2

Sarky

Not exactly the same, but me and my boyfriend got together in April last year and in October he moved to Sheffield which is 5/6 hours away from where i am in Southampton. We weren't very serious at first and both assumed that we'd split once we went our seperate ways but then realised we couldn't as we'd fallen for each other. We try to see each other once a month at least, which isn't always easy and you may not be able to see your boyfriend that much. Talking on the phone works fine for us but if you don't communicate that well on the phone maybe you could try something like writing letters to each other? We still write letters and send each other funny things we've seen just to break up the monotony of the phone. I won't pretend its easy but if you work at it and try and work out why the phone relationship isn't that great you may make it a lot easier. I got very depressed when my boyfriend moved away. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that we're going to be together eventually as he is moving to Southampton to be with me.

Good luck :smile:

Reply 3

SaraA

Wow what does your brother do in the RAF? They're some lengths of time to be away... My boyfriend is being so supportive about me going and a lot of people have said that if it's meant to be, follow my dream and he'll stick around....

Reply 4

SaraA

Thanks Sarky, I think its just a glimmer of hope that I need to give me some confidence in myself so I don't get too down about it; like I said, he's the positive one in all this in that he's looking to the future and it's me feeling almost guilty for jeapordising us by going away, I feel so selfish!! Letters are a great idea, I will give that a go, thank you :smile: