how can i stop being a walkover?
To cut a long story short, i have 'broken up' with my boyfriend of 3 years. I say 'broken up' because inevitable we will get back together *sigh*
In short, he was just a liar, lied about everything, i found stuff behind my back, he would lie about the smallest of things. He was physically abusive, immature, irresponsible, and pretty much useless. He loves me an awful lot, but he just doesnt respect or appreciate me as a person. I dont want to be vain but i have a lot going for me- im intelligent, motivated and very hard working and ambitious, and i never give up in the face of failure. He, on the other hand, is the laziest most useless person ever. I wouldnt even care, but he doesnt appreciate me at all. He treats me like im just always going to be there (because ive always let him walk over me)
We broke up over a week ago because he was physically abusive AGAIN and i need to make my point. But the thing is its still ME contacting HIM. He saying hes changed but he clearly hasnt. in fact, he just hung up on me now and hasnt bothered contacting me back.
Ive been asked on dates by other guys, and I was going to go on one to try and make him realise what it would be like if he lost me. (not going to physically/sexually do anything, just a date to make him realise other guys want me). The thing is, he said he would never talk to me again if i dated another guy (i think he would as long as i didnt actually do anything with them).
So yes, do you think this is a good idea? I just want him to realise that i deserve to be respected. love isnt enough and i want fun times, not constant misery.
I know he loves me, but how do i make him realise that im not always going to be there (even if i am).
In short, he was just a liar, lied about everything, i found stuff behind my back, he would lie about the smallest of things. He was physically abusive, immature, irresponsible, and pretty much useless. He loves me an awful lot, but he just doesnt respect or appreciate me as a person. I dont want to be vain but i have a lot going for me- im intelligent, motivated and very hard working and ambitious, and i never give up in the face of failure. He, on the other hand, is the laziest most useless person ever. I wouldnt even care, but he doesnt appreciate me at all. He treats me like im just always going to be there (because ive always let him walk over me)
We broke up over a week ago because he was physically abusive AGAIN and i need to make my point. But the thing is its still ME contacting HIM. He saying hes changed but he clearly hasnt. in fact, he just hung up on me now and hasnt bothered contacting me back.
Ive been asked on dates by other guys, and I was going to go on one to try and make him realise what it would be like if he lost me. (not going to physically/sexually do anything, just a date to make him realise other guys want me). The thing is, he said he would never talk to me again if i dated another guy (i think he would as long as i didnt actually do anything with them).
So yes, do you think this is a good idea? I just want him to realise that i deserve to be respected. love isnt enough and i want fun times, not constant misery.
I know he loves me, but how do i make him realise that im not always going to be there (even if i am).
Best idea is to get rid of him and move on.
In your own words he is a liar, abusive, immature, irresponsible and lazy. There seems to be too much conflict here and I doubt things will ever work out. Breaking up and getting back together over again will not help matters. For one, each break up leaves a scar on the relationship and secondly, every time you go back to him after breaking up you merely confirm his belief that he can take you for granted.
He probably does love you however he is not showing it very well. There does come a point though where you cannot continue to put up with him messing you around.
I would be tempted to cut all contact and move on. If you are feeling more generous you may give him a final warning. Just make sure you mean it.
In your own words he is a liar, abusive, immature, irresponsible and lazy. There seems to be too much conflict here and I doubt things will ever work out. Breaking up and getting back together over again will not help matters. For one, each break up leaves a scar on the relationship and secondly, every time you go back to him after breaking up you merely confirm his belief that he can take you for granted.
He probably does love you however he is not showing it very well. There does come a point though where you cannot continue to put up with him messing you around.
I would be tempted to cut all contact and move on. If you are feeling more generous you may give him a final warning. Just make sure you mean it.
Original post by pinkangelgirl
To cut a long story short, i have 'broken up' with my boyfriend of 3 years. I say 'broken up' because inevitable we will get back together *sigh*
In short, he was just a liar, lied about everything, i found stuff behind my back, he would lie about the smallest of things. He was physically abusive, immature, irresponsible, and pretty much useless. He loves me an awful lot, but he just doesnt respect or appreciate me as a person. I dont want to be vain but i have a lot going for me- im intelligent, motivated and very hard working and ambitious, and i never give up in the face of failure. He, on the other hand, is the laziest most useless person ever. I wouldnt even care, but he doesnt appreciate me at all. He treats me like im just always going to be there (because ive always let him walk over me)
We broke up over a week ago because he was physically abusive AGAIN and i need to make my point. But the thing is its still ME contacting HIM. He saying hes changed but he clearly hasnt. in fact, he just hung up on me now and hasnt bothered contacting me back.
Ive been asked on dates by other guys, and I was going to go on one to try and make him realise what it would be like if he lost me. (not going to physically/sexually do anything, just a date to make him realise other guys want me). The thing is, he said he would never talk to me again if i dated another guy (i think he would as long as i didnt actually do anything with them).
So yes, do you think this is a good idea? I just want him to realise that i deserve to be respected. love isnt enough and i want fun times, not constant misery.
I know he loves me, but how do i make him realise that im not always going to be there (even if i am).
In short, he was just a liar, lied about everything, i found stuff behind my back, he would lie about the smallest of things. He was physically abusive, immature, irresponsible, and pretty much useless. He loves me an awful lot, but he just doesnt respect or appreciate me as a person. I dont want to be vain but i have a lot going for me- im intelligent, motivated and very hard working and ambitious, and i never give up in the face of failure. He, on the other hand, is the laziest most useless person ever. I wouldnt even care, but he doesnt appreciate me at all. He treats me like im just always going to be there (because ive always let him walk over me)
We broke up over a week ago because he was physically abusive AGAIN and i need to make my point. But the thing is its still ME contacting HIM. He saying hes changed but he clearly hasnt. in fact, he just hung up on me now and hasnt bothered contacting me back.
Ive been asked on dates by other guys, and I was going to go on one to try and make him realise what it would be like if he lost me. (not going to physically/sexually do anything, just a date to make him realise other guys want me). The thing is, he said he would never talk to me again if i dated another guy (i think he would as long as i didnt actually do anything with them).
So yes, do you think this is a good idea? I just want him to realise that i deserve to be respected. love isnt enough and i want fun times, not constant misery.
I know he loves me, but how do i make him realise that im not always going to be there (even if i am).
I was going to say you deserve better, but since you said you want to go on dates with others guys just to get back at your boyfriend I take that back.
Naawttt cool
Original post by Miza
I was going to say you deserve better, but since you said you want to go on dates with others guys just to get back at your boyfriend I take that back.
Naawttt cool
Naawttt cool
Oh Miza you make me lol. You're absolutely right.
OP, since when did 'love' cover physical abuse?
This ain't about love. It's about need: yours and his.
And if you're already saying that you're gonna get back with him then I'm not gonna waste time telling you how to raise your game. You are defined by your CHOICES.
You sound as bad as him with those last few sentences. You're going to string another guy along to get back at your ex? The worst kind of girl, the WORST.
Get a grip.
Get a grip.
Original post by pinkangelgirl
To cut a long story short, i have 'broken up' with my boyfriend of 3 years. I say 'broken up' because inevitable we will get back together *sigh*
In short, he was just a liar, lied about everything, i found stuff behind my back, he would lie about the smallest of things. He was physically abusive, immature, irresponsible, and pretty much useless. He loves me an awful lot, but he just doesnt respect or appreciate me as a person. I dont want to be vain but i have a lot going for me- im intelligent, motivated and very hard working and ambitious, and i never give up in the face of failure. He, on the other hand, is the laziest most useless person ever. I wouldnt even care, but he doesnt appreciate me at all. He treats me like im just always going to be there (because ive always let him walk over me)
We broke up over a week ago because he was physically abusive AGAIN and i need to make my point. But the thing is its still ME contacting HIM. He saying hes changed but he clearly hasnt. in fact, he just hung up on me now and hasnt bothered contacting me back.
Ive been asked on dates by other guys, and I was going to go on one to try and make him realise what it would be like if he lost me. (not going to physically/sexually do anything, just a date to make him realise other guys want me). The thing is, he said he would never talk to me again if i dated another guy (i think he would as long as i didnt actually do anything with them).
So yes, do you think this is a good idea? I just want him to realise that i deserve to be respected. love isnt enough and i want fun times, not constant misery.
I know he loves me, but how do i make him realise that im not always going to be there (even if i am).
In short, he was just a liar, lied about everything, i found stuff behind my back, he would lie about the smallest of things. He was physically abusive, immature, irresponsible, and pretty much useless. He loves me an awful lot, but he just doesnt respect or appreciate me as a person. I dont want to be vain but i have a lot going for me- im intelligent, motivated and very hard working and ambitious, and i never give up in the face of failure. He, on the other hand, is the laziest most useless person ever. I wouldnt even care, but he doesnt appreciate me at all. He treats me like im just always going to be there (because ive always let him walk over me)
We broke up over a week ago because he was physically abusive AGAIN and i need to make my point. But the thing is its still ME contacting HIM. He saying hes changed but he clearly hasnt. in fact, he just hung up on me now and hasnt bothered contacting me back.
Ive been asked on dates by other guys, and I was going to go on one to try and make him realise what it would be like if he lost me. (not going to physically/sexually do anything, just a date to make him realise other guys want me). The thing is, he said he would never talk to me again if i dated another guy (i think he would as long as i didnt actually do anything with them).
So yes, do you think this is a good idea? I just want him to realise that i deserve to be respected. love isnt enough and i want fun times, not constant misery.
I know he loves me, but how do i make him realise that im not always going to be there (even if i am).
You've obviously got some personal issues that you need to work out. There are more fish in the sea. Find someone else to appreciate you that you can love, instead of this one jerk. You can't change him, he will NOT change, not matter how hard you try. The fact that you have kept going back to him gives him even LESS incentive to change. Why should he when he knows a simple " I'm sorry I love you please forgive me" will have you crawling back to him? You need to work on YOUR self esteem and love yourself instead of it being tied to one person
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