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    Hi

    I have problems with the way I look. Obviously most people have features they dislike, etc, but I think with me the problem is partly psychological as well, because I let the problems affect my life and the way I feel about myself more than I should. I set different standards for myself than I would for other people - e.g. I'm a size 8-10 so am not exactly huge, but although I see people miniskirts and stuff who are more like size 14's, I think they look really nice whereas I'd be too paranoid to wear something like that cos I'd feel really fat. If I get those bumps some people get behind the arms, I refuse to wear any short sleeved tops without overtops - I also get paranoid about my arms being fat - again I see people with much 'worse' arms but don't think they look that bad. I have a paranoia about summer, firstly because you can't wear black tights so I won't wear anything other than full length skirts or jeans and secondly because I hate my nose, which is too wide and has large pores - I just hate the way the sun highlights your flaws. A lot of my friends think I'm nuts because they say they'd love to be my size (sometimes they think I have body dysmorphia) and I just over-emphasise flaws that other people don't really notice, but it drives me crazy, and worryingly I've even missed days of school or nights out just because I feel really bad about the way I look on that day.
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    if its affecting you to such a big extent in your everyday life i.e missing school etc then it is quite possible you might have body dysmorphia...maybe you should go and see your GP for a chat?

    (Original post by chocmonster)
    if its affecting you to such a big extent in your everyday life i.e missing school etc then it is quite possible you might have body dysmorphia...maybe you should go and see your GP for a chat?
    I've tried that as I had eating problems once (although these were also linked to physical illness) but I think that was far more linked to the physical illness, as I now eat as much as I can with no worries about calories, etc - I have a more balanced attitude now, but I still can't wear shorter skirts etc. The not going to school thing is linked less to the weight issue and more to the nose issue, which I do get quite paranoid about even though people have reassured me about it. I just hate having such large pores there, feel incredibly self conscious about it. I have a good skin regime, I've worked out the kinds of products I'm allergic to and use cleansers, exfoliaters and pore cleansers, only exfoliating a couple of times a week as doing so excessively would irritate my skin. To be honest I can't find anything that really minimises my pores, etc, so my biggest problem is an issue with my skin - it's just that all these things tie into my inability to accept my flaws.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried that as I had eating problems once (although these were also linked to physical illness) but I think that was far more linked to the physical illness, as I now eat as much as I can with no worries about calories, etc - I have a more balanced attitude now, but I still can't wear shorter skirts etc. The not going to school thing is linked less to the weight issue and more to the nose issue, which I do get quite paranoid about even though people have reassured me about it. I just hate having such large pores there, feel incredibly self conscious about it. I have a good skin regime, I've worked out the kinds of products I'm allergic to and use cleansers, exfoliaters and pore cleansers, only exfoliating a couple of times a week as doing so excessively would irritate my skin. To be honest I can't find anything that really minimises my pores, etc, so my biggest problem is an issue with my skin - it's just that all these things tie into my inability to accept my flaws.
    Yup, I would have said that it sounds like you have body dysmorphia, at least in a very mild form. I can sort of empathise with you, I'm nearly 19 now, but between the ages of 16-17 1/2 or so (on and off!) on some days I felt really depressed and cried loads cos I had convinced myself that I was ugly.It made no difference to me what friends/boyfiriends/my mum/ random guys on street etc did/said (not that I told anyone cos tbh who wants to hear someone moaning all the time. I just hid it really well and maintained my active social life/grades etc) It got so bad at one point I actually sent away for plastic surgery brochures to 'fix' my nose.When I confided in some close friends what I planned to do they thought I was ****ing crazy! Also at this time I was really slim as I used to do crazy amounts of exercise and keep to a strict diet, I was about a size 6-8 and I'm tallish, 5'7 so whilst at the time I THOUGHT I WAS OBESE (!) in retropsect I can see that I was enviabley thin, if not underweigt at times. I think you are the only one who can change your sef-image, it was a gradual process for me, it took a while but when people paid me compliments I gradually began to believe them and now I'm really confident, even though nowadays I'm more like a 10-12, which I'd have been mortified at when I was a lil bit younger. Honestly, whatever " unattractive" features you have become fixated on, there is probabaly nothing wrong with them, it's alldo to wiht how you're perceiving yourself. Pores? So what? I very much doubt that anyone had perfect skin (except the lucky minority)Don't be so damn hard on yourself! I'm sure you're really pretty and it would be one hell of a shame if you wasted time wishing you looked different and getting upset about it... lifefs too short. Oh, and don't skive off school cos of this, been there done that on the odd day...if you have self-image 'issues'being on your own at home is the worst bloody thing you can do cos all those negative little thoughts will wear away at you and probably make you feel even more ****. AND your eduaction should be of paramount imporance to you right now, don't screw up your future.Just try to change the way you think and focus on your best features (physical and personality wise!)PM me if you want some more advice, dunno if this rambling reply is any use but nevamind... Good luck xXx
 
 
 
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