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housing dilemma at uni

Hiya,

I'm posting this anonymously because some people I know use TSR and they're not the people I'd choose to discuss this with, so bear with me!

I started uni last September and although I've made a lot of friends, I haven't really got in with one group of people in particular. Originally I spent a lot of time with my flatmates, but then realised that we don't have very much in common, so I started making friends with other people. I spent a lot of time with people on my course and people I've met through various societies. There are lots of really nice people in hall and when we go out at night I have a great time with them, but they are all in fairly fixed friendship groups and I'm a bit more independent. Now people are sorting out who to live with and it seems that almost everyone I know (who I think I could live with) is sorted into a really big group and wouldn't really have room for anyone else. However, there aren't many houses around for groups of that size, and nearly everyone I know wants one, so I just figured that loads of these groups will find they have to split up into smaller groups sooner or later, and then I could join one of them. As I said, I have a lot of friends outside hall, but they seem to be sticking with people they live with already. A close friend on my course suggested we live together, but I don't think it would be a good idea because we spend so much time together already we'd just end up being together 24/7.

So anyway, I'm at a bit of a loose end. Then yesterday I bumped into a 5th year friend of mine and he invited me back to his house for a drink. He showed me around the house, which was gorgeous, and then asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner. One of his housemates is a girl I know vaguely, but I didn't realise they lived together until last night. Anyway, over dinner he asked me whether I'd been househunting for next year yet and I said no, I don't even know who I'm going to live with. At which point the girl said, "Do you want to live here?"

Apparently it's a house of six and there will be at least three spaces next year because of people graduating, but the people who are staying don't want to move out because it's such a nice house. I'd love to live there and the location is absolutely perfect. The only thing is, I'd rather not be the only person in my year living there, and I'd prefer to move in there with someone I'm already friends with, if possible.

I could say yes, I'll live there, and then hope for the best. At the very worst, it's a lovely house, it would be really easy for all my friends to come over because it's so close, and this girl seems like someone I could get on really well with. She's a 3rd year medic and I took a gap year, so she's one year older than me. On the other hand, I could wait around to see whether the groups of people in hall change at all in the next few weeks.

What would you do? Agree to move in, or wait?

Thanks

Reply 1

Love_Hearts

9

how bout asking your friend off your course to join you? just because you'l live together doesnt neccesiraly mean you'l be together all the time.

Reply 2

angel_flo

10

If you do agree to move in and sign the contract with the landlord etc, it is fairly straightforward to drop out and for them to have someone else take over the tenancy agreement. If there are going to be 2 other rooms in the house next year then there is a chance that they will be second years as well, and then you will not be the youngest in the house. If you really like the look and feel of the house then I reckon you should go for it because you could end of regretting it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

In the nicest possible way, I think living with my friend could be the quickest route to failing my degree! :wink:

Plus her boyfriend is part of the package as well, and I'm not particularly keen on living with a couple. With me and her, I like things the way they are at the moment. We met randomly because we don't have any classes together. She's in my personal tutor group and we've only met with our tutors once since we've been here. But even so, I see so much of her already I know I would definitely see her all the time if we lived together.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

angel_flo

If you do agree to move in and sign the contract with the landlord etc, it is fairly straightforward to drop out and for them to have someone else take over the tenancy agreement. If there are going to be 2 other rooms in the house next year then there is a chance that they will be second years as well, and then you will not be the youngest in the house. If you really like the look and feel of the house then I reckon you should go for it because you could end of regretting it.

I haven't looked at any other houses in this city, but having seen my best friend's student house and my ex's student house, this is paradise in comparison. :redface:

I'm very tempted.

Reply 5

Sabre

6

Anonymous

I started uni last September and although I've made a lot of friends, I haven't really got in with one group of people in particular. Originally I spent a lot of time with my flatmates, but then realised that we don't have very much in common, so I started making friends with other people.

Exactly the same as me, I thought I had made this post until I read down a bit further lol.

Move in with the 5th year friend and see if you can get a couple of first year friends to move in with you.

Sounds like you have a great oppurtunity here, i'd hardly call your situation a "housing dilemma", my situation is similar to yours in that I didn't get on with my flatmates and made new friends who'd already had groups of people they were deciding to live with.
So unless your like me and don't know anyone you can move in with yet I'd hardly call your situation a dilemma.

Reply 6

President_Ben

15

Flip a coin or a spin a bottle on the matter :wink:

In the nicest possible way, I think living with my friend could be the quickest route to failing my degree!

I'm sure you'd get your work hat on next year... :smile:

See if the others staying in the place are people you'd get on with. There's time yet!

Reply 7

SunburnedCactus

11

The couple thing is an issue though. As my mum says "Three is always a crowd".

Reply 8

President_Ben

15

Happy Cycling

The couple thing is an issue though. As my mum says "Three is always a crowd".

Three could well be my kind of crowd. I just don't know yet.

And couples don't always rush into moving with each other... especially at the uni stage.

Reply 9

Poica

14

I'm living with three guys I know who are currently in their second year next year, and I'm the only girl and the only 1st year. As long as you don't make it a problem it probably won't be a problem. It means you're sorted as far as accommodation goes, and as long as you get on with them well enough you don't have to be in love with your flatmates.

Reply 10

ebonyphoenix

1

Personally I see no reason to reject the offer. It's a nice house, you will probably get along very well with the people (maybe not best friends but well enough), and you will be able to have some space from your best friend and her boyfriend. If you have a lot of friends you can hang out with already, honestly you shouldn't be afraid to make new friends and meeting new people through sharing flats can be a good experience. I would advise against joining a random group if the people were horrible or something, but it sounds like you will be able to along on very civil terms with these people. Don't wait around for another offer; one as good as this one might not turn up later! Be bold and shed your insecurities, I say.

Reply 11

monkeyaround

I lived with 3 people who were in their 4th year and one in 2nd year when i was in my second year, it wasn't a problem at all.

This year we have 1 2nd year, 2 3rd years, 1 4th year and 1 in the first year of his PhD. It's really not a problem, we all get on like a house on fire.

housing dilemma at uni

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