I feel like I don't fit in anywhere at uni

Hey TSR,

I am about 9 weeks into uni. I went through sixth form with few friends and a lack of social life and was determined for that not to be the case at uni. growing up, my parents were very protective and therefore I didn't get to experience much until I came to uni.

When I came to uni, I was scared to try new things at fresher's week and therefore felt very out of place on all the nights out because I had never tried anything like this before. It wasn't natural for me and I felt very uncomfortable. I made a couple of friends in my halls who were like me and didn't want to get drunk and we would go home early. then slowly as time moved on, my flatmates eased me into going to bars and clubs and I slowly started to experience the wonders of alcohol. Now I enjoy going on nights out and am learning to enjoy it.

but now everyone is split into groups at uni. there are those that drink excessively, those that don't drink that all through choice/experience/age, those who prefer to stay in and do work and therefore are invisible, muslims, and a few that do not fit into a clear group because they do not live at halls and haven't made many friends. I seem to not fit into any group.

people in my halls are the extreme clubbers and I cannot do this because I am a first year medic and my work is my priority and it is hard for me to just join their group because they already have formed frienships and it's too late, I can't just want to tag along. people on my course also go out a lot and sometimes I want to join them but because the friends that I made are all non clubbers I can't go out with them. and because people are in groups already its hard to tag along. and I feel left out.

I feel like I don't fit in with the quiet girls that do not go out and I don't fit in with the extreme clubbers because I am one of those that needs time to do my work and although I am asian I do not fit in with the hindus and muslims. and I feel that I can't just tag onto a group because people have made their friends already. what can I do? atm I go out with my flatmates one a month but when we go out we have a big night out and I have so much fun. but next year when we go our separate ways and after 3 years when my friends (mostly non medics) move on who will I have left? I am scared I will be alone. people have all made lots of friends and I don't seem to fit in what can I do?

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if you can't be bothered to read the above,

basically, everyone seems to fit in and have found a group of friends at uni but I haven't. I have a few friends that I see irregularly and each have their own group of friends and I don't seem to fit in anywhere. how can I make more friends at uni? its already 9 weeks in and it may be too late.

Reply 1

becky9

Go out and enjoy yourself, that's what being a students for.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by becky9

Go out and enjoy yourself, that's what being a students for.

I wish it was that simple. I have so much work to do and I am one of those that needs to work much longer and harder than most to get all the work done. and as a medic, our course has a higher workload that most undergraduate courses. so I can't just go out and have fun and let my work fall behind. also people have their friends already and I can't just tag along.

anyone else????

University is over-rated, many students are lame partyanimals who's company you would not enjoy anyway, you need 1-2 good friends with the same mindset to hang out with so you're not alone. People on your course who do medicine are your best bet of finding like-minded people.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Miza

I have found a few people like this already but once in a while when I want to let off steam it would be nice to be able to go out and have fun and these people don't like to do this. and I am worried about after third year when these people will all have graduated, I won't have anyone.

Reply 6

Miza

Original post by Anonymous

Can't say that I have been in exacly same boat, but when I needed to let some steam out and just have a drink I had to join my friend who had been hanging out with different group of 'partyanimal like' students, even being drunk didn't help me overcome the fact on how lame and boring in a way those people were. So I'm probably not qualified to give you a solution for your situation lol.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Miza

that's okay. :smile:

I find getting drunk and dancing in clubs a good way to let off steam. I didn't think I would before I came to uni but I find it does help. how do you deal with stress from uni work?

Reply 8

Miza

Original post by Anonymous

that's okay. :smile:

I find getting drunk and dancing in clubs a good way to let off steam. I didn't think I would before I came to uni but I find it does help. how do you deal with stress from uni work?