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    The boring bit: theres a guy I really like, I've known him for a while, and we're kind of unofficially going out now, unofficial in that we havent even kissed yet or anything.

    But now, we've started discussing having sex. (I've never had sex before, btw) I reeally like him, I feel comfortable around him, and I can trust him. Theres a chance that we may do it in half term (Valentines Day? lol!), infact, I've basically promised him that we will.

    But I dont know whether this is an entirely good idea. I dont want him to just get what he wants right away and then bugger off again. While I feel happy about it now, I dont want to regret it afterwards. And when I look at it objectively, it seems like a reeeally tarty thing to do.

    Oh crap this sounds quite pathetic. I know its my decision, blah blah, I guess I'm just looking for some opinions. Will he think more/less of me? Might I regret it? Is it waaaay too rushed? Argharghargharghagrhag.

    Thanks, and sorry. (I normally hate these threads!)
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    I personally haven't found how fast you sleep with someone affects how they see you as a person (and I've jumped in pretty fast). If you're comfortable and happy to face the consequences (good or bad) then do what you want to.
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    Dont worry about the fact of how it makes you look. That doesnt matter. What worries me is the fact you havent even kissed but your going to have sex in a matter of weeks?
    personally , i would wait a while to see wheter it really is going to be a longterm reletionship . Sure, he may seem a great guy now but you could find out in say 3 months time that you really aren't suited and should just be friends.
    You seem awfully eager to have sex with him even though your not even "offically" going out? maybe you subconsciencely think it's a way to keep him?
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    It's only rushed if you feel uncomfortable about it. That is of course, something only you can ascertain.
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    So it seems I forgot to press anon, lol. Ah well I guess it doesnt really matter.

    Student bum; what you say is what I'm worried about. Maybe it is too fast and for the wrong reasons.

    I dont know that it is to 'keep him' though, cos I'm pretty sure he likes me anyway. And I work with him so he can't get away that easily, haha. It just feels sorta right. The thought of it doesnt scare me, it kind of excites me.

    (Original post by morgangills)
    It's only rushed if you feel uncomfortable about it. That is of course, something only you can ascertain.
    True
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    Well, you could get a good thing going... but, theres a risk you'd fall in love and he's not in for a relationship blabla -you know. Just so that you're aware.

    But hey, go for it. I've learned nothin' from playing it safe.
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    It doesn't make any difference. Do what you are comfortable doing.
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    (Original post by Student_Bum)
    Dont worry about the fact of how it makes you look. That doesnt matter. What worries me is the fact you havent even kissed but your going to have sex in a matter of weeks?
    personally , i would wait a while to see wheter it really is going to be a longterm reletionship . Sure, he may seem a great guy now but you could find out in say 3 months time that you really aren't suited and should just be friends.
    You seem awfully eager to have sex with him even though your not even "offically" going out? maybe you subconsciencely think it's a way to keep him?
    :congrats:
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    Obviously it depends on your own morality and attitude, but speaking from personal experience I would say don't do it. I had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago- the guy liked me and had asked me to go on a date with him....drunken house party ensued a few days later...ended up having sex (though we were only tipsy) and within two days the whole 6th form found out and started gossiping (his fault) .This wasn't the main issue- I'm not that bothered about what people think of me, but things have been a bit awkward since as both us had a moral stance against doing that sort of thing, and I really regret screwing (ok unfortunate phrasing) up the possibility of a relationship with him. Not saying that you'll do the same thing, obviously you're not intending to be drunk, but I would just advise against it. Also, there's not so much to look forward to if you jump in too quickly!
    I agree with everyone else- you just have to follow your own morality and do whatever feels right.
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    (Original post by leona)
    The boring bit: theres a guy I really like, I've known him for a while, and we're kind of unofficially going out now, unofficial in that we havent even kissed yet or anything.

    But now, we've started discussing having sex. (I've never had sex before, btw) I reeally like him, I feel comfortable around him, and I can trust him. Theres a chance that we may do it in half term (Valentines Day? lol!), infact, I've basically promised him that we will.

    But I dont know whether this is an entirely good idea. I dont want him to just get what he wants right away and then bugger off again. While I feel happy about it now, I dont want to regret it afterwards. And when I look at it objectively, it seems like a reeeally tarty thing to do.

    Oh crap this sounds quite pathetic. I know its my decision, blah blah, I guess I'm just looking for some opinions. Will he think more/less of me? Might I regret it? Is it waaaay too rushed? Argharghargharghagrhag.

    Thanks, and sorry. (I normally hate these threads!)
    Surely there's your answer? You're having doubts, therefore you're probably not ready for it just yet with him - it's your decision obviously, but I would think that if you're having doubts about doing it, it's a pretty clear sign that maybe your subconscience is saying 'no'?
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    (Original post by lil_sweetie)
    Surely there's your answer? You're having doubts, therefore you're probably not ready for it just yet with him - it's your decision obviously, but I would think that if you're having doubts about doing it, it's a pretty clear sign that maybe your subconscience is saying 'no'?
    I know what you mean, but I think the doubts I'm having are over the way it seems from the outside, rather than doubting that I'm actually ready. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, lol. I tend to do that alot. Or maybe I'm convincing myself that I shouldnt do it because thats what 'society' says.

    :confused:

    The way I'm thinking at the moment is that if the time comes, then we will go for it, and if it doesnt then I wont force it.
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    In my most macho voice possible
    ' do it girl, youll like it'
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    dammit shouldnt expect so much.. i was hoping for a picture to giggle at....put something tarty on and take a snappy so i bother to read your post, thanks.
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    I probably wouldn't do it... tempting as it is. Hold off a bit, cement the relationship, and then see if its worth the leap.
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    Well the important part is how long have you known this guy properly???
    If its only been a few weeks then maybe its to soon, however if its been a few months then it seems highly unlikely hes the sort to be after one thing from you.
    Im bit worried when you say your unofficially going out??? as the fact you aint kissed or had sex yet doesn't mean your not officially going out.
    So im just wondering if your abit confused about where you stand right now??? People will say "Maybe you only want to have sex so you can keep him"
    I dont think this is the case otherwise you wouldn't be having 2nd thoughts about sex, infact im glad your not just diving into it straight away.
    I think you need to sort out where you stand before you consider taking it further
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    Er, I suggest you kiss him first.

    Seriously, my ex and I waited three months to have sex and that was soon enough for us. Sometimes I wished we could go back to that first three months because once you start having sex, you'll want to do it all the time. But at the beginning of a relationship, you're still at the stage where you get butterflies when you kiss them, and you're still getting to know each other. It's a very romantic time. Make the most of it. If it's going to be a long-term relationship, there's absolutely no harm in waiting until you're sure you want to have sex, and if it's not going to be long-term, then you might not want to have sex anyway. I don't know how long I'll be able to wait next time I get together with someone, but I hope we'll both have the self-control to hold off for a while, because the beginning of a relationship shouldn't be too heavy. Once you sleep together, it makes breaking up more painful. So it's a good idea to wait until you think you'll be together for a decent amount of time before you have sex.
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    (Original post by susiemakemeblue)
    Er, I suggest you kiss him first.

    Seriously, my ex and I waited three months to have sex and that was soon enough for us. Sometimes I wished we could go back to that first three months because once you start having sex, you'll want to do it all the time. But at the beginning of a relationship, you're still at the stage where you get butterflies when you kiss them, and you're still getting to know each other.
    I still get butterflies
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    The fact you asked answers your question.
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    If in doubt, toss a coin.

    Seriously, what do you expect people to say? You're always going to have the don't do it camp of "i had a bad experience, so I think your situation might be like mine" and the "go for it, why not?" camp.

    At the end of the day, the question for you is which hurts more? The possibility of losing whatever it is you feel you will lose by having sex, or losing whatever it is you think you would lose by not having sex. You have to weigh them up. Remember, you haven't lost anything yet. All this is just anxiety and so it's a question of fear. What are you more afraid of? It's probably a little more complicated than that, but that's a safe place to start choosing from.
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    I think you've had a few heated conversations and are just excited. IMO, wait a lil longer.

    If you don't care.. Do it.
 
 
 
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