Should I tell her I have no experience? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
This is a bit long, I'll put a tl;dr at the end best I can. Otherwise if you want the main bit but not the whole thing, I just highlighted the start of a paragraph which is a good place to read from for the main bit.

Right so I've been with this girl for a little while now. She's got a fair few insecurities and other issues. From the little info I've been able to get out of her she's been bullied about her appearance, she's had people say they like her then change their mind and get with say a friend of hers. Basically this means she's got poor self body item, not great self esteem. She goes all quiet and cold or snaps at me sometimes, but then she's said sorry and eventually after coaxing it she said she's sort of scared to get close so she pushed people away. Also when I've asked her to stay over or tried touching her chest and stuff, she's made excuses or gently moved my hand away.

So I've been patient and supportive and she's really come out of her shell recently, and I think that's made me start to take things further.

Recently
there was a bit of a talk on the pace of things. She's said that she knows she sends mixed messages sometimes because when it comes to physical things she gets very anxious and so she might seem to push me away, but she's not sure she means to.

She's not said to me that she's a virgin, and she's called about ex's before. But then said her parents have never met a boyfriend before (before I met them), I thought that might be a cover in case I asked them about her past boyfriends and they said something like "well you're her first" . But basically the way she's acting makes me think she might be.

Now I am a virgin myself. I'm not really nervous about that fact but realistically if she does have experience she's going to notice I don't.

Basically I don't know if telling her I am beforehand will help or make it worse? One part of me thinks that she might feel less pressure and be less anxious if she knows I'm not this experienced guy who's going to think she's rubbish if she freezes up or gets embarrassed etc. But then the other side things she might rather think I have an idea of what I'm doing (since she may not).


tl;dr. I'm a virgin, this girl hasn't said but the way she acts and admits to being all anxious about physical intimacy, makes me think she might be. Should I tell her I'm a virgin before or not, which would make her feel better about things?
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LinzyLoo
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#2
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Yes, tell her.
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ChilliBonbon
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Tell her. The fact she mentioned she's anxious means that if you tell her you're a virgin it'll ease the pressure. Plus girls love it when you open up and tell them how you feel.
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Ahotaru
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#4
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If I was in that situation I would prefer that person to tell me. I would feel more comfortable knowing that the both of us are new on this, and would even feel happy to know that I am the first girl he is with. Apart from that, just go slowly and try something else each time, bit by bit
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softy_dog1
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You're hoping she will "come out of her shell" and tell you more about herself, and I think it's really great that you want to really talk to this girl and get to know her, but you can't expect her to do all the talking and confessing things about herself to you! You have to do it too! I really hope you do tell her properly before you sleep with her. Also, she's bound to feel better and more secure about sleeping with you if she knows you better, and disclosing that pretty intimate detail will help with that.
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