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    Basically, I recently got into contact with a mutual friend of me and my ex (we broke up 5 months ago). I have known the friend (lets call him guy A) for about 10 years but only recently got back to talking with him. We got on really well online and some night spoke into the early hours. My ex (guy B) is friends with him and they were quite close for a little while but they haven't really spoken since guy B moved. I would say that we're all equal friends.

    I stayed around guy a's house for the weekend. The first night we didn't sleep in the same bed which I was fine with. The next day we had these little moments where we would end up touching hands and just stay like that. Basically all this snowballs and that night we had sex. I don't regret it, it was great. The next morning we had to get up early so we hugged and kissed and said goodbye. After that we spoke a bit on FB and I said I wanted to see him again and he said he was surprised (I never found out why he said this). So a couple days later we met up and the same thing sort of happens but there was more of a delay to it because we weren't getting close and instead of waiting him to I bit the bullet and kissed him on the cheek so he knew I was interested, after that we just cuddled. That night ALSO led to sex (I realise I'm giving it up a bit easy now!) In the morning we chatted and stuff before he had to go to work and again a kiss and a cuddle goodbye.

    He recently told me he thought I've been quiet when I've been with him and I put this down to just nervousness because I do actually like him. I said I didn't want to make him feel smothered or anything which he said he didn't understand. After that I knew he had a busy week ahead of him so we haven't seen each other for a few days. He hasn't been on FB much either so it almost feels like he's ignoring me but if I send him a message he'll reply. He had this gig which he said I was welcome to go to although he said 'it might not be my thing'.

    This is where I'm stuck, I'm getting feelings for him and I'm waiting for him to invite me round to see him (I've decided NOT to initiate it this time). I need to know where this is going because in all honesty I found myself obsessing over this dude when it might not even be worth it. The thing that confuses me is the amount of affection he shows me (spooning in bed, kisses on the head, handholding etc), I've spoken to some guys who say they wouldn't be like this unless they were getting feelings for me too. This may all be awkward because I'm his friend's ex girlfriend.

    Basically, how can I say to him 'is there something more here?'. I would like to do it in person but I feel he would be annoyed if I came around just to ask him that but I dont want to ask him online either.
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    I don't get the problem? sounds like you both like each other. What makes you think he isn't interested?
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    (Original post by Zoombini)
    I don't get the problem? sounds like you both like each other. What makes you think he isn't interested?
    Thanks for responding. The problem is... is that its usually me making conversation. When we're together it's fine, but seperate we barely speak. We never said it was going to be casual or anything. If anything, he said it just felt right the first time we did it. Is that good or bad?
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    What do you mean when you say when your seperate you barely speak? Well it's probablly good that what you did felt natural. Maybe you should ask him where he see's it going, i take it you want to be in a proper relationship with him?

    Some guys aren't very good at texting/calling, maybe thats his problem or maybe he just isn't sure how you feel about him.
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    (Original post by Zoombini)
    What do you mean when you say when your seperate you barely speak? Well it's probablly good that what you did felt natural. Maybe you should ask him where he see's it going, i take it you want to be in a proper relationship with him?

    Some guys aren't very good at texting/calling, maybe thats his problem or maybe he just isn't sure how you feel about him.
    I mean when we're not together, usually I speak to him online but he's not very forthcoming (never was). I may ask him next time I see him but I dont want to push him away. I didn't intend to get sucked in but I have.
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    Does anyone have an opinion on what the relationship (if there is one) sounds like to them? We saw each other recently and just hung out and played games (wasn't much time to get close) and he wanted to see me again in a few days. I was annoyed with myself because I wanted to hug him to show I was still really interested but nerves got the best of me !
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    I think he likes you ina gf way
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    It does sound a bit casual to me...how old are you out of interest?

    The best thing you can do is ask him what he is looking for, a relationship or what.
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    We're both 23
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    If you don't want to be in person or ask online, maybe call him?
    It sounds to me maybe like he doesn't expect you to want a relationship with him, but he would like one. He replies to your messages and talks to you when you start talking to him online, so he's not ignoring you. It might seem like he's not -that- interested in talking to you, but he probably just assumes you've got your own busy and interesting life. I think quite a few guys, especially if they are sweet and a bit introverted (like my boyfriend), mostly just leave you to decide when to talk and meet up. At the beginning/before you're together or they are at all certain of your feelings at least, so that they know it is always what you want.
    Or, he could just not want a relationship. There's no harm in finding out, he wouldn't think you were crazy for wondering considering you have been enjoying each other's company.
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    Thanks for your response. It is possible that he might not think I want to speak to him... I'm gonna hug him as soon as I see him in a couple of days. I was kicking myself for not doing that last time. I will consider asking him... depends how crazy I can cope with not knowing! Thanks for responding, I appreciate it.
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    He's also giving up something he does weekly to see me cos he knows we havent had much of a chance this week and he asked if I wanted him to keep his weekend free but I'd rather he ask me if I want to do something instead of vice versa so we'll see!
 
 
 
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