I've been dating someone who I enjoy being with and get along with very well for over 3 years. At 38, he is 14 and half years older than I am. (I'm 23).
I don't know if this age gap will ever affect anything between us if we stayed together for the rest of our lives. Do you think it can work for raising children etc? People say the older you get, the less an age difference can be noticed.
What do you think?
Turn on thread page Beta
My (big) age-gap relationship; can it work longtime? watch
- Thread Starter
Last edited by Digital_Love; 27-11-2011 at 22:14.
- 27-11-2011 20:39
- 27-11-2011 21:01
I really hope it can work out! My boyfriend is 21 years older than I am and we've been together for around 5 months now. Yet somehow we seem to fit so perfectly that we've already started hinting about marriage and things like that, but have agreed that I should get through university first. Whilst I know I want to be with him forever, I do sometimes worry about the chances of our relationship working out - purely because you can change a lot when you're young and I wouldn't want him to make that commitment only for university to change me as I develop my career and personality etc.
As far as children are concerned, while your age gap is less than mine I would say that it would be less of a strain later on if you were to agree to do that sooner rather than later. But then again you wouldn't want to pressure him into it, and there are financial factors to consider too.
Even if an age gap relationship may take more work than a similar age one, I would hope that if two people are that suited to be together then age shouldn't mean they decide not to be a couple.
Hope that helped
- 27-11-2011 21:25
Yes it can, im 24 and my boyfriend is 46, we've been together 2 years and are moving in together in the new year. i really hope it works out for you, Forget those that say it wont work, message me if you need any more age gap advice xxx
- 28-11-2011 09:36
I don't see 23 and 38 as that huge really. If he was 58 then yes there would be problems, but one in their twenties and one in their thirties isn't so bad.
- 28-11-2011 10:26
My father was 23 years older than my mother, and they really loved each other I talk in past because he passed away. I guess it depend on how mature you are comapred to him. But about raising/having children, I can talk from my own experience. The older you are the more difficulties you might find to conceive (from his side. I'm not talking about his actual age, 38 is not old at all, but I mean in the future) since I was suppose to have a twin but died because she wasn't strong enough
That's the only downside that I see (and does not mean that it will happen to you, that was just in my case), but apart from that, I wouldn't say there's a problem with the gap age if you truly love each other!
- 28-11-2011 10:27
Yeah, age is just a number it doesnt matter, if you get on and are happy that is waht counts!
Good luck and dont worry about numbers unless you do maths on a regular basis!
- 28-11-2011 12:17
My dad and stepmum are 15 years apart (they got together when she was about 20 and he was about 35) and they seem to have worked out fine. There are some downsides, for example my dad is over 50 now and he has two toddlers running around so he can't chill out as much as my mum can, nor can he have the early retirement he planned on. Also, once my stepmum took me to get a photo-mug done for my dad's birthday and the photographer assumed we were both his children which was embarassing for him but hilarious for me. Seriously though, they seem happy enough, so if you talk everything through I don't see why it couldn't work out.
- 28-11-2011 13:43
The most commonly reported problems occur further down the line.
For example, say you retire at 65 and look forward to just spending time chilling out now with your partner.... well he'd already have been retired for 14 years and will be nearly 80. As he's older his health may decline and you could end up providing a carer kind of role.
Of course, this is all hypothetical, worst case sceraio stuff anyways. Plenty of people have made age gap relationships like this work, and I'm sure you can/are also