I get wound up too easily

My problem is basically what it says in the title, i get wound up really easily especially by my boyfriend and the more frustrated i get the more he winds me up and more often than not i end up in tears and he still laughs at me. He also embarrasses me loads, in front of his friends usually the ones i don't know well or the ones i have only just met that moment. Most of the time with his friends it happens in town so i can't exactly walk away otherwise i will have no way of getting home, when i do walk away he runs after me and tries to convince me that he didn't embarrass me in any way, but he doesn't realise how it makes me feel, in trying to get me back he uses how he felt and how he thinks others felt about what he said but never refers to how i feel. I don't mind a little bit sometimes but its as if he doesn't know when to stop. I don't wanna break up with him because otherwise he is a really great boyfriend,and when we are alone he can be really sweet. I just hate being wound up all the time especially in front of people the i don't know as well as he does becasue they are always like, 'why don't you slap him when he says stuff like that?' but i don't think its fair to do that in front of his friends even if they are telling me too. I know i sound paranoid and stupid to get wound up so easily, but one of my biggest sort of phobias is not being taken seriously and i'm scared that it will just turn into that and he will never take me seriously again.

Reply 1

hippieglitter

OP

19

I wrote this ages ago, nobody has replied. Its still a problem though, even having talked to him about it.

Reply 2

Zerforax

21

Push him down the stairs a couple of times... he will learn...
or just talk to him about it and be serious about it
or learn to ignore him (and start flirting with his friends?)

Reply 3

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

Men often have these power trip complexes. My ex was exactly the same!

Let him have a little taste of his own medicine, perhaps is entirely subconcious on his part and doesn't realise what he's doing?

Reply 4

Barny

17

lol, I think all girls are like this, I've certainly done it to a few girl mates, you don't realise that your jesting is actually upsetting them, and then all of a sudden your relentless piss-taking results in them bursting into tears. Not like the ladz when it comes to banter, are you, girls?

Reply 5

_poptart_

2

The_Crow

I wrote this ages ago, nobody has replied. Its still a problem though, even having talked to him about it.

Well if he still intentionally does it knowing it gets to you he either doesnt think its that big a deal (when it obv is to you)... so I reckon you should start embarrassing him MAJORLY when he is out!!
At the same time if he knows what hes doing is making you upset and carries on doing that then he seems a bit of a nob :s:

sorry!

Reply 6

envious

Have you actually confronted him over the issue :confused:

I don't mean when you're mad or angry just after an argument or incident that has annoyed you but instead when you are calm and have the ability to articulate your thoughts rationally. Maybe he doesn't quite understand how much he is affecting you and perhaps sees it all as a bit of a game (i.e. playful teasing). Try to explain to him that you feel that he crosses the line and actually upsets and hurts you.

I'm sure as your boyfriend he would stop this behaviour once he has realised the damage it is causing. If he does still persist then he obviously either cannot stop this behaviour or he doesn't care enough to try and stop it. Either way it's really unhealthy and I think you should seriously consider splitting up with him. You say that you already have a phobia of not being taken seriously and it seems to me that this guy will only increase this fear and in no way help you resolve it :mad:

. Short term pain for long term gain is sometimes the best path to take, even if it is also the hardest :redface:

.

Reply 7

anjurdsg

11

The_Crow

My problem is basically what it says in the title, i get wound up really easily especially by my boyfriend and the more frustrated i get the more he winds me up and more often than not i end up in tears and he still laughs at me. He also embarrasses me loads, in front of his friends usually the ones i don't know well or the ones i have only just met that moment. Most of the time with his friends it happens in town so i can't exactly walk away otherwise i will have no way of getting home, when i do walk away he runs after me and tries to convince me that he didn't embarrass me in any way, but he doesn't realise how it makes me feel, in trying to get me back he uses how he felt and how he thinks others felt about what he said but never refers to how i feel. I don't mind a little bit sometimes but its as if he doesn't know when to stop. I don't wanna break up with him because otherwise he is a really great boyfriend,and when we are alone he can be really sweet. I just hate being wound up all the time especially in front of people the i don't know as well as he does becasue they are always like, 'why don't you slap him when he says stuff like that?' but i don't think its fair to do that in front of his friends even if they are telling me too. I know i sound paranoid and stupid to get wound up so easily, but one of my biggest sort of phobias is not being taken seriously and i'm scared that it will just turn into that and he will never take me seriously again.

he's an a--hole, dump him

I get wound up too easily

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