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It doesn't seem I have purpose in life. I feel lost? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    For the past year, I feel I don't have purpose in life anymore. I feel I've never had purpose. I can't seem to find what I'm good at, most days I'm really tired. I feel lost, I'm 20 years old, and still don't know what I'm supposed to be doing in my life, not even an idea. I'm a first year Law student but I'm struggling with the workload and really starting to feel the pressure(family have high expectations).This gets me even more depressed.

    All I feel is an overwhelming feeling of guilt, like I am in everyones way, I am a nuisance. I always want to be alone, but at the same time I want to scream at the top of my lungs so everyone could hear how hurt I am.I am feeling very alone, lost, frightened, confused.

    There's no love in my life at the moment, and most people think I'm stupid, weird, lazy, don't give a darn about anything or what have you. I've been contemplating suicide for the past 6 months, but I don't want to be a coward either.

    Lately, I've been drinking more often, especially every day after Uni.My life is lacking direction and purpose and I don't know where to start, or what to do.

    At times I think, my family would be better off without me and I'm just a burden.
    • #2
    #2

    You are not stupid, I can tell you that. You sure studied a lot to be offered a place as a law-student.
    I'm first year Law now and I feel pretty much the same like you. I started to be too lazy since I got into university, I'm not sure whether I've made the right choice (I'm more of a creative person and law is too damn boring at times). At the same time I don't really know what else I could be studying... Till now, I haven't made a lot of friends in university- mainly because I live in the city where I study and most of my colleagues are coming from different parts of the country and this bonds the in a way. I feel like they see me like some snobbish girl who still lives with mom and dad and therefore know nothing about the real world and it's more into her old friends than talking to country people - but I'm just shy... And my old friends - they all have find their own places in the universities they study and are mostly happy.

    But I try to work out things. I try to see the good things in my everyday life. I know that this is just a period in my life and it won't be like this forever. It's normal to feel lost. But I'm happy to be 19, to have the opportunity to study a good degree at all, to live in the city I know and love and to have a whole life in front of me to live. I'm sure that somehow I'll find what I'm really passionate about and I'll meet the right people for me.

    Don't ever thing about suicide, please! You've just lost focus on your life - but maybe you should let things be and they will come off right. I'm sure that everything I said about myself could be right for you too. I wish you luck. And by the way, if you want to, write me something on PM. I'd be happy to help, even with just talking to you - after all we share almost identical problems now, but different attitudes about them.
 
 
 
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