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Lack of Self-Esteem is slowly ruining my life watch

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    Help guys.

    I have minimal self confidence or self esteem. I hardly step from the compounds of my house!

    I mean, I'm not ugly or 'trampy', a word some of you may like to use. I'm just extremely paranoid. When I'm walking down the street, convince myself that people are staring at me. Its all crossed the line now and I need to get over this mental state!

    I'm currently on a gap year and was planning on getting a job to save up for Uni but it has now even prevented me from doing that now! I don't know what to do

    How can I get over this?

    Thanks
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    Who cares what people think about you? Only shallow individuals judge someone on how they look!
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    You probably come here searching for answers but I think you know what the answer to your question is

    You have to put yourself out there. There is no other way about it.

    Everything you want to do like job wise for instance, you just have to get on and apply for them and not let negative thoughts get in the way when applying for a job.

    Deal with every obstacle when you cross them and don't panic about it now. You'll find that when you come across these obstacles you will deal with them better than you thought and you'll start to build confidence from there.

    Like Derren Brown says the more opportunities you give yourself the more luck and good you'll receive (I'm trying to live by this)

    I'm a shy person with no confidence and self esteem and from just doing these things i've got a casual job I'm not doing to bad at, so go for it.
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    (Original post by tweety_2479)
    You probably come here searching for answers but I think you know what the answer to your question is

    You have to put yourself out there. There is no other way about it.

    Everything you want to do like job wise for instance, you just have to get on and apply for them and not let negative thoughts get in the way when applying for a job.

    Deal with every obstacle when you cross them and don't panic about it now. You'll find that when you come across these obstacles you will deal with them better than you thought and you'll start to build confidence from there.

    Like Derren Brown says the more opportunities you give yourself the more luck and good you'll receive (I'm trying to live by this)

    I'm a shy person with no confidence and self esteem and from just doing these things i've got a casual job I'm not doing to bad at, so go for it.
    This is very helpful and encouraging! Thanks!
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    Be strong in yourself....be confident...in time it will come...!
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    It's natural for people to look at others as they walk past. Don't you do it? It doesn't mean that people are judging you though!
    Having a job will really help with you get over it. I've been working at a supermarket and it's really helped me get over my problem with talking to strangers. I've found that the majority of people are polite, patient and friendly once you speak to them. Best of luck!
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    (Original post by slacker07906)
    Who cares what people think about you? Only shallow individuals judge someone on how they look!
    That's just not true. everyone does it instantly and in many cases subconsciously. We all do. the trick is just to realise that everyone does it everyone else and not care
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    You're on a Gap Year in order to save up money for uni? Lol I don't think you really thought this through - next year is when the 9k tuition fees come in!!!
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    (Original post by Super Cicero)
    You're on a Gap Year in order to save up money for uni? Lol I don't think you really thought this through - next year is when the 9k tuition fees come in!!!
    I'm sure the OP is aware of that. People are quick to assume the fee rise is the worst thing in the world when actually its not as bad as people are making out. You only pay back the fee's after you are earning an higher amount. An amount that many people are unlikely to earn in their career's anyway. Also, you can pay it back in smaller amounts. Tbh hardly no one manages to pay their student fee's back in a short space of time anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

    I'm taking a gap year instead of going to Uni this year because I always was planning to take a gap year. A increase in student fee's wasn't going to stop me doing what I have been planning to do for a long time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Help guys.

    I have minimal self confidence or self esteem. I hardly step from the compounds of my house!

    I mean, I'm not ugly or 'trampy', a word some of you may like to use. I'm just extremely paranoid. When I'm walking down the street, convince myself that people are staring at me. Its all crossed the line now and I need to get over this mental state!

    I'm currently on a gap year and was planning on getting a job to save up for Uni but it has now even prevented me from doing that now! I don't know what to do

    How can I get over this?

    Thanks
    i get this too ... my advice is when you feel low you look low ... trust me if you can decipher that you will be much happier..


    just incase though!

    i.e I felt like that .... then I went to the gym .. got some new clothes and just looked forward to things .. now I feel a lot better ... still not 100% but much happier
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    Have you had any kind of therapy? It sounds like you could really benefit from figuring out why you feel this way and what you can do about it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Help guys.

    I have minimal self confidence or self esteem. I hardly step from the compounds of my house!

    I mean, I'm not ugly or 'trampy', a word some of you may like to use. I'm just extremely paranoid. When I'm walking down the street, convince myself that people are staring at me. Its all crossed the line now and I need to get over this mental state!

    I'm currently on a gap year and was planning on getting a job to save up for Uni but it has now even prevented me from doing that now! I don't know what to do

    How can I get over this?

    Thanks

    Hey Anon - if you can manage a PM please send me one as what you've described is exactly how I've felt, been plagued by it at times. Be good to hear/talk more about it.
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    (Original post by slacker07906)
    Who cares what people think about you? Only shallow individuals judge someone on how they look!
    I hate it when people say this as Obviously if you dont wanna leave your house because of it then of course you care.


    OP start off by looking plain as possible to 'blend in' M&S T-shirt, jeans and jumper. No one will bat an eyelid at you. Think to yourself that you are no different from the majority of the population in looks at least (we'll work on communication confidence later) then after you been walking around a bit you will notice the stares are all in your mind (well actually sometimes they're not as people stare because you were staring at them because you thought they were staring at you lol, so don't look at anyone when outside) After that you can either stick with your current outfits or move on to something a bit more stylish ( but try and keep it generic so as not to be judged and hence stared at which you dont want)

    So yeah, confidence through clothing. But not just clothing. you gotta think, you see a guy with a hunchback and limp walking down the road. Who notices him? You don't no one else does. Just some old/handicapped guy. So assuming you look even more normal than him why would anyone notice you?
 
 
 
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