I faked appendicitis when I was 14, I am 21 now, looking back I have been a bit... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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...Crazy?

Looking back, this was a pretty screwed up thing to do. The first boyfriend i really loved dumped me when i told him I loved him, which was a shock for me as he initiated the relationship in the first place. This breakup happened in the summer, after which I wanted to avoid my social life and that guy for a bit. I googled the symptoms for appendicitis and when the doctor asked about my pains, I demonstrated that I had every possible symptom, I acted as if i experienced more pain when he pulled his hand away etc.

Now my dad didn't believe this, he thought it was a mere tummy upset, or that I was being melodramatic. My mum who is a nurse was very concerned as, from what i said, I showed all the symptoms. My plan was successful, the doctors referred me to the nearest big hospital where I got my appendix out a few days after. Pretty happy with myself in that distracted state, the doctor came over and told me it was lucky that they took it out, that i had a case of acute appendicitis... Now that was news to me! I had experienced no symptoms of the condition, though was rather content to have achieved what I set out to achieve, a temporary distraction from life.

When i got back to uni, I spent a while having my ex following me around. He would follow me around but we would do nothing, apart from on two occasions within two years where we made out a lot at parties. Now I hadn't been very self assured since early adolescence. I had always been to shy to start relationships. There were a few guys that tried it with me from the october when i returned to school, through to the easter two years later. My mad side came through again, I had the final straw, I gave up with the games my ex was playing with me, he got another girlfriend, I turned to anorexia.

I then remained in the state of anorexia for 3 years, as I became more obsessive, I lost more friendships. I failed the first year of a levels, but then due to perfectionism and the fear of failure retook them and got As at the same time as doing a levels, and got As once again.

In the 2nd year of extreme anorexia however, I had some hope. I met a lovely guy, with whom I am now still in a long distance relationship with a guy from another european culture, we met on an exchange and clicked immediately. We see each other often, we spend all of the holidays together and as many weekends as possible. We have met each others parents countless times, also grandparents etc. I have shaken him up twice, having mad moments, abstract needs to break free and return to old habits, but he has been supportive and prevented me from leaving him, even if he felt hurt for a long time afterwards, and I felt extremely guilty. We have many hopes for the future.

I am also at a very good university, achieving good grades and have founded a society, met some interesting people. Now it seems I have many prospects for the future. I am beginning to find self confidence, though every so often a glimmer from the past waves at me, tempting. I do not understand my past, otherwise it would have been so easy to escape. I don't understand why I have been so crazy, and hope it's not a part of my personality which will continue in the future.

If someone, anyone, can just advise me on how to avoid being this, and perhaps point out any reasons why I could have done these things. I realise they are not normal. I really want to just be normal, happy and confident. It's so difficult.
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Anonymous #1
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please...
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`R92
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It's a bit weird but aren't we all? You sound like you're in a great position at the moment.
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poolopis01
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You should see a psychiatrist, and avoid labeling yourself. If you are intelligent, strong, and creative, but have some accompanying trait that is detrimental, there is no reason to stop being strong. Find some help for it whilst continuing to live a good life.
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screenager2004
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14 year olds aren't completely rational anyway, that's why we have age limits for sex, employment and drinking. If you still have problems now then refer yourself to a counsellor if you want.
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Oppro
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So you're a bit nuts, aren't we all? We all have blips & skeletons, some more than others, forget it & get on with your life, recognise your need to do something nuts now & then & make sure you book a 500' charity abseil or tattoo at the time to channel your energy & blow off the cobwebs, embrace the crazy & use it wisely & get on with your hugely successful high flying career from the overbearing sound of your trumpet blowing.
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bluemax
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We all do things in childhood which we tend to feel guilty about. Its generally not logical, irrational and without any motive.

(this may sound cliche)You start by forgiving yourself. You need to realise that you've changed over the years, are a better person, learn from your mistakes. You need to stop clinging to your past and let it go....once you're able to do that you'll be a much more happier person
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Veryanonymous
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My friend is going through the appendicitis part. She has self harmed twice and now has bulimia. She is 14 and this all began happening about 6 months ago. I believe she needs help as does she but she is terrified to tell her mother as last time she told her she felt that her mother was disappointed or angry, I knew that her mother was just shocked and was trying to help but now believes she stopped. Whilst she only does some of these things every now and then she still has dark thoughts, she was my best friend but I now find myself not knowing how to talk to her and have realised we haven't got much in common any more. She still know of she needs anyone I'm here and although I made sure she knew she could talk to me, her telling me these things makes me feel upset and awful for awhile and affects my mental state too. In my school, mental issues seem to be a bad problem as I thing I can only say about 5 people I know for sure have never self harmed. It also seems to weirdly have become a trend as about a year ago I used to hear people talking about how they would show each other their scars and cuts. I have always found self harm a hard subjects to be around (especially after someone in my family committed suicide) so that could explain why I feel like I cant deal with people telling me all their problems and issues (I get overwhelmed and cry sometimes but I tell my mother everything which helps alot) Does anybody know how I can help her as well as how this person can help themselves ? Xx No need to reply, just felt good to vent
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