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Any guys here completely turned their luck around with women........? watch

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    I am 25 and only had sex once and never actually had a girlfriend. I mean even though I am tall and alright looking, I still struggle to get women who are actually attracted to me I think. Its partly to do with being shy but perhaps women see that Im not really that confident as I dont have the chat. Did you manage to change to reverse your fortunes with the ladies? Need advice badly. cheer
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am 25 and only had sex once and never actually had a girlfriend. I mean even though I am tall and alright looking, I still struggle to get women who are actually attracted to me I think. Its partly to do with being shy but perhaps women see that Im not really that confident as I dont have the chat. Did you manage to change to reverse your fortunes with the ladies? Need advice badly. cheer
    Confidence is something that everyone has to a certain extent. For instance, I could hold lengthy, funny conversations with girls I saw as just friends but struggled to string more than a few words together when talking to a girl I fancied. It irritated me that I could come across as so pathetic. Why would they ever consider going for a guy who was overly nervous, delicate, not making eye contact and awkwardly finding excuses to exit what could have been a promising situation ? So, I decided to take on a more care-free attitude. It's not all about her being overwhelmingly hot as I had something to offer. Is she really right for me ? Feeling more comfortable in myself I can hold conversations, tease girls, make them blush, tilt their heads, stroke their hair etc and it only adds to the comfort and confidence as you get stronger, taking a lead in the conversation. She should want you, let her know you can have what you want.
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    great thread here mate i'm 19 but in the same boat as u i really have given up on women it's just aint happening 4 me :/
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    I did - at high school I never had much luck with anyone so was put off quite badly. When I went to uni (last year at 18) I met someone amazing and thought "you are only going to get one chance at this, your past doesn't matter, just try as hard as you can and see what happens".

    As it happens that was a very good idea as 13 months on things are still going great

    Confidence and self belief are very important - good luck.
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    (Original post by 1992LP)
    I did - at high school I never had much luck with anyone so was put off quite badly. When I went to uni (last year at 18) I met someone amazing and thought "you are only going to get one chance at this, your past doesn't matter, just try as hard as you can and see what happens".

    As it happens that was a very good idea as 13 months on things are still going great

    Confidence and self belief are very important - good luck.
    Congrats, thats good news, I guess my confidence just fluctuates so much with girls. Sometimes i feel pretyt confident and others I just feel like they find me boring. Could I ask how you met her?
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    (Original post by Cyclo)
    Confidence is something that everyone has to a certain extent. For instance, I could hold lengthy, funny conversations with girls I saw as just friends but struggled to string more than a few words together when talking to a girl I fancied. It irritated me that I could come across as so pathetic. Why would they ever consider going for a guy who was overly nervous, delicate, not making eye contact and awkwardly finding excuses to exit what could have been a promising situation ? So, I decided to take on a more care-free attitude. It's not all about her being overwhelmingly hot as I had something to offer. Is she really right for me ? Feeling more comfortable in myself I can hold conversations, tease girls, make them blush, tilt their heads, stroke their hair etc and it only adds to the comfort and confidence as you get stronger, taking a lead in the conversation. She should want you, let her know you can have what you want.
    Yeh, I've got to be more carefree, good advice. As I said above, my confidence fluctuates so much with girls. I seem to make some girls laugh but others not really and I think sometimes when my confidence is low I come across as really boring. Thing is Im not sure if the laughing is genuine and whether they're just a bit easily amused. Thing is I have quite a cheeky sense of humour and I try and tone this down a bit. Would you say you're quite witty? I seem to have my moments but feel like if Im not witty/cant think of anything particularly funny to say, then she won't fancy me. You obviously sound like a bit of a casanova if you're making girls blush etc, lol
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    (Original post by Cyclo)
    Confidence is something that everyone has to a certain extent. For instance, I could hold lengthy, funny conversations with girls I saw as just friends but struggled to string more than a few words together when talking to a girl I fancied. It irritated me that I could come across as so pathetic. Why would they ever consider going for a guy who was overly nervous, delicate, not making eye contact and awkwardly finding excuses to exit what could have been a promising situation ? So, I decided to take on a more care-free attitude. It's not all about her being overwhelmingly hot as I had something to offer. Is she really right for me ? Feeling more comfortable in myself I can hold conversations, tease girls, make them blush, tilt their heads, stroke their hair etc and it only adds to the comfort and confidence as you get stronger, taking a lead in the conversation. She should want you, let her know you can have what you want.
    Yeh, I've got to be more carefree, good advice. As I said above, my confidence fluctuates so much with girls. I seem to make some girls laugh but others not really and I think sometimes when my confidence is low I come across as really boring. Thing is Im not sure if the laughing is genuine and whether they're just a bit easily amused. Thing is I have quite a cheeky sense of humour and I try and tone this down a bit. Would you say you're quite witty? I seem to have my moments but feel like if Im not witty/cant think of anything particularly funny to say, then she won't fancy me. You obviously sound like a bit of a casanova if you're making girls blush etc, lol Would you say you're a good looking dude as well?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeh, I've got to be more carefree, good advice. As I said above, my confidence fluctuates so much with girls. I seem to make some girls laugh but others not really and I think sometimes when my confidence is low I come across as really boring. Thing is Im not sure if the laughing is genuine and whether they're just a bit easily amused. Thing is I have quite a cheeky sense of humour and I try and tone this down a bit. Would you say you're quite witty? I seem to have my moments but feel like if Im not witty/cant think of anything particularly funny to say, then she won't fancy me. You obviously sound like a bit of a casanova if you're making girls blush etc, lol Would you say you're a good looking dude as well?
    Yeah, I would say I am fairly witty. If a girl doesn't get my sense of humour though I find it's a non-starter. I'm not a "lad", but i'll try and be confident and assertive pushing the boundaries with certain comments in a jokey tone. A girl told me the other day that she wasn't sure whether she either found me cocky and very attractive or arrogant and not so attractive lol.

    I would say I am fairly average looking but I work out which helps (definitely boosted my self-esteem). I used to have confidence issues and be overly sensitive, but I have learned over the years that it's how you act around others that determines how attractive you are. There's this girl at work that isn't particularly pretty, but she's quirky and I find her to be an attractive person.

    I don't know about you, but I have been guilty of over-analysing girls/dates and trying to model myself on what I think they want. This isn't the way to go. It's difficult to maintain and you end up kicking yourself when you find out she would have wanted the person you are normally. The key is to being comfortable in yourself and not being intimidated by the girl in front of you. She's just another girl - think of it like that.
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    (Original post by Cyclo)
    Yeah, I would say I am fairly witty. If a girl doesn't get my sense of humour though I find it's a non-starter. I'm not a "lad", but i'll try and be confident and assertive pushing the boundaries with certain comments in a jokey tone. A girl told me the other day that she wasn't sure whether she either found me cocky and very attractive or arrogant and not so attractive lol.

    I would say I am fairly average looking but I work out which helps (definitely boosted my self-esteem). I used to have confidence issues and be overly sensitive, but I have learned over the years that it's how you act around others that determines how attractive you are. There's this girl at work that isn't particularly pretty, but she's quirky and I find her to be an attractive person.

    I don't know about you, but I have been guilty of over-analysing girls/dates and trying to model myself on what I think they want. This isn't the way to go. It's difficult to maintain and you end up kicking yourself when you find out she would have wanted the person you are normally. The key is to being comfortable in yourself and not being intimidated by the girl in front of you. She's just another girl - think of it like that.

    Im definitely like that, always overanalysing, thinking like maybe she doesn't like me cos I have a big nose and **** like that even though every now and then I get told Im 'handsome.' Yeh I guess I feel confident and go for it if a girl is easy going and initally laughs at something I say but if she doesn't, I just cease up. I wish I was really witty, I mean I have my moments, I guess it comes to you naturally or were you not always like that? Do you get quite a lot of action then?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im definitely like that, always overanalysing, thinking like maybe she doesn't like me cos I have a big nose and **** like that even though every now and then I get told Im 'handsome.' Yeh I guess I feel confident and go for it if a girl is easy going and initally laughs at something I say but if she doesn't, I just cease up. I wish I was really witty, I mean I have my moments, I guess it comes to you naturally or were you not always like that? Do you get quite a lot of action then?
    You can get by on having a common interest and by being decisive in what you say. Throwing in a few teasing comments can spice up the attraction. I'd say that I have always been fairly witty, but it's an acquired taste and not always appreciated lol.

    As for action, funnily enough the type of girl I usually like to date hasn't really got me anywhere recently. Hard work no reward.

    In ONS / casual encounters I do ok. Not the types of girls I would consider dating, but as I have found dating to be a pain of late I want to have some fun.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am 25 and only had sex once and never actually had a girlfriend. I mean even though I am tall and alright looking, I still struggle to get women who are actually attracted to me I think. Its partly to do with being shy but perhaps women see that Im not really that confident as I dont have the chat. Did you manage to change to reverse your fortunes with the ladies? Need advice badly. cheer
    The day i realised my self-worth was the day my luck changed with the ladies.
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    (Original post by Cyclo)
    You can get by on having a common interest and by being decisive in what you say. Throwing in a few teasing comments can spice up the attraction. I'd say that I have always been fairly witty, but it's an acquired taste and not always appreciated lol.

    As for action, funnily enough the type of girl I usually like to date hasn't really got me anywhere recently. Hard work no reward.

    In ONS / casual encounters I do ok. Not the types of girls I would consider dating, but as I have found dating to be a pain of late I want to have some fun.
    Do you have any good openers at all? That would really help, cheers. I normally just say something lame like if they're not dancing I say something like ,'come on,lets dance, you're being wasted over here.'
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    (Original post by Balaban)
    The day i realised my self-worth was the day my luck changed with the ladies.
    for the better? How did you value your self-worth?
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    Yea hours of jelqing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you have any good openers at all? That would really help, cheers. I normally just say something lame like if they're not dancing I say something like ,'come on,lets dance, you're being wasted over here.'
    Don't tend to use openers. Just ask them stuff related to the environment we're in and find a topic to talk about from that.
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    Confidence is such an important factor when talking to the opposite sex. I was rarely confident, infact the last two girlfriends I had (one serious, one not so serious due to the length of the relationship) had either come to me and initiated things or were in a position where a relationship looked impossible and as such I treated it as nothing more than a friendship.

    Since my last relationship i've not wanted to be with anyone else - I'm quite content being by myself and focussing on me and the changes in my life that I want to make to become the person I want to be. One of those changes is to be more confident, though, especially with the opposite sex, so have pushed myself to talk to more girls on nights out etc (though obviously without leading anyone on). It seems to have been a success, I get into engaging and interesting conversations quite regularly now and it's nice to know I can go up to women and spark up a nice conversation. I've admittedly had a couple of girls interested without trying to lead them on, but usually it's just chatting etc, so it's not as if i'm talking about engaging a girl i'm interested in. I can't imagine it's much different though, as in reality you'd not want to come off as too eager anyway.

    Maybe spend some time on yourself to build your own confidence up and then if something comes along in the meantime, be open to it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    for the better? How did you value your self-worth?
    Yes for the better, I found out with time how to deal with my inner demons, whether it was from insecurities, abuse in adolescence or lack of a skill and with everyday i applied to progressing my self further in body, mind and soul.

    You become a more complete person, if you've heard the phrase 'he was a shell of a man, or the shadow of a man he use to be' it's that concept of how much you fill yourself to the point where you don't require external things to make you happy healthy and succesful and that attracts women.. the fact that you function just fine on your own and don't need them, when a man who doesn't need a woman.. wants a woman it makes the woman realise how special she is in his eyes.

    Women can't smell desperacy a mile off.. they can just asses how complete the person is they are talking to and compare it to their own completeness, thats why you get easy girls and queens
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    (Original post by Balaban)
    Yes for the better, I found out with time how to deal with my inner demons, whether it was from insecurities, abuse in adolescence or lack of a skill and with everyday i applied to progressing my self further in body, mind and soul.

    You become a more complete person, if you've heard the phrase 'he was a shell of a man, or the shadow of a man he use to be' it's that concept of how much you fill yourself to the point where you don't require external things to make you happy healthy and succesful and that attracts women.. the fact that you function just fine on your own and don't need them, when a man who doesn't need a woman.. wants a woman it makes the woman realise how special she is in his eyes.

    Women can't smell desperacy a mile off.. they can just asses how complete the person is they are talking to and compare it to their own completeness, thats why you get easy girls and queens
    'the fact that you function just fine on your own and don't need them, when a man who doesn't need a woman.. wants a woman it makes the woman realise how special she is in his eyes'

    Don't quite understand the above, but yeh,you sound like a wise man and women are indeed very complicated. I don't think they even know what they want, lol. Sometimes feel like they've been put on earth to make men's lives difficult you know?
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    Yes you can turn it around.
    Some girls can struggle to get attention in their teens, and after a while they "blossom", start taking better care of themselves, meet new people etc and suddenly get a lot of attention from men. Although being shy can affect them negatively, it is usually not a problem for girls.
    The reason guys more often get stuck in a bad circle it's hard to escape from, is the confidence issue. Confidence is the main factor which attracts girls, and with negative experiences, you might become less sure of yourself. Guys also have a certain pride in dealing with women, so lack of it can lead to frustration, fear of women, or worse yet: anger. (Rapists started out being bitter, then turned angry. It is not uncommon for men whom fail to communicate with women to become angry with them and act as if the world of women has turned against them).
    You need to recognize that it's your pride which has been hurting, that you simply haven't been able to show girls you true self and that the problem is regarding reaching out, not who you are (I'm trusting you're a good person, not an ******* ).
    Confidence comes more naturally once you achieve something, in your professional life (many do much better with girls after studies once they can excel in what they do) or with hobbies. Playing sports does not necessarily attract girls in itself, but it will improve your shape and might give you a feeling of accomplishment which always helps. Pursue more interests, be well read and watch movies. Be slightly ahead and have something to contribute with. I'd love for a guy to introduce me to something new. Work on your overall look - do you have a nice sense of style that is discreet yet reflects who you are? Is there any grooming / growing out your hair that could improve your look? (Given NOT a 'pretty boy' appearance). Sometimes just a change can help. I recently met a guy I went to school with only 3 years ago (was a slight geek then), who'd changed his appearance, his hair, style, started working in the music industry and doing well, and I thought wow, people change a lot. Not only did he want to do something different, he went through with it. Ambition is amazing.
    Cannot give too general advice - this is what I'd find attractive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Congrats, thats good news, I guess my confidence just fluctuates so much with girls. Sometimes i feel pretyt confident and others I just feel like they find me boring. Could I ask how you met her?
    You have to go for girls in a similar situation to you.

    I was always real low on confidence with girls, but with friends I was a normal confident guy. But as soon as we was with a group of girls I'd find myself at the back of the group not saying a word. Haha.

    Then, I unexpectedly met a girl, but the only reason I could be confident with her, is because she was even more shy than me, so then its easier, you can like the man, and not pathetic. And, anyway, if you're shy person, then you'll get on better with a shy/quiet type girl, then you'll find she comes out of her shell, and so do you and suddenly you're real confident and fun together.

    so, basically, spot the shy girls in thier friend groups, and girls similar to you. Instead of the real confident loud outgoing girls, because you probably won't have much in common with those girls anyway.
 
 
 
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