Internet Dating

Ok...the guy i really liked for a long time has said (through ignoring me and avoiding me etc) that he doesn't want me. There have been a few other guys I've met recently but the spark just isn't there...I've joined clubs at uni go out with different people but I'm not meeting people that are good for me. I'm not being arrogant but I do meet a lot of guys who just want to sleep with me..I can't deal with casual sex..I'd prefer to be with someone who cares and I care for them.

So this leads me to the relm of the internet. It sounds really stupid and desperate but the way I see it..it's like putting bets on several horses not just one. So if I'm going out and meeting people at uni, and at the same time am on one of these sites (not too sure how they work) then I'm just upping my chances..?? Is this a really stupid idea.? I'm some silly girl who will go off with random guys , if i were to find someone on or offline I'd never go by myself always with friends etc so in that sense it's all good.......

any ideas? advice? thanks xx

Reply 1

34253

2

If your still at university then i would recommend using the internet as a last chance saloon.

Reply 2

Sephiroth

18

At first the Internet seems like the best place to find someone, because you get to know their personality and their intent before you decide to meet them or take it further. In a bar or offline you often don't find that out until you end up in a failing relationship or they try to get in your pants. I prefer meeting people online because I'm too shy around people offline.

Thing is not many people see the Internet this way and they're convinced meeting people online is a geeky thing. You also may find many people online are fake and some will lie to get sex. Even though I use them, I would say avoid sites like MySpace. Meeting people online through communities like TSR tends to work out better.

Reply 3

sweetface.

Internet dating does not work out, i have already explained why in another simler thered and to be compleatly honest you might to not be as bad as you think. You should try and talk to some guys you like. And see where it goes from there. It sounds like you have self-confidence issues.

Casual sex is also a stupid idea, i can agree with you and no your not being arrogant. Guy's who just want to sleep with you are definatly not worth your time. Which you really already know which is good.

I can sympathise a little, i am in the same boat as you i am self-conscious about myslef and i am a very shy girl and i find it really hard to talk to guys. Like i make this stupid barrier between me and some guy i really like. I know what i should do i should just talk to him.

So maybe you need to just love yourself a little bit more, try and get that little self-confidence back. To help you get back on track. Also internet dating is such a stupid idea. I want to smack that person who made it all up. It hurt me so much when i was in a internet relationship.

Reply 4

JadedHippy

11

Met 2 ex girlfriends on the internet. Good relationships and we are still good friends after it ended. That said, I never actually met them with the intent of starting a relationship. The internet is never the ideal place to look for a relationship, though I still think it is better than a nightclub ^o)

*Jaded

Reply 5

Angelil

19

Lyndzxx - you cannot out and out say 'internet relationships don't work' when you have apparently experienced very little of them. I met my boyf on the internet November 2004. Together by Boxing Day 2004. Met Feb 2005. Still together. Go figure.

Reply 6

Lauren Hart

3

Im still with my internet boyfriend, didnt meet him through an agency, was a friend of a friend who i got talking to, and he's the most amazing person ever. Sometimes its the real gentlemen on there coz they ARENT all "i want in your knickers" but SOME are, and its all about being safe etc etc. Make sure you follow the internet dating rules.

Reply 7

Carreh

2

Met my ex through friends of friends... we lasted nearly 4 years... so it can work :smile:

Reply 8

Lauren Hart

3

it can indeed! i started speaking my bf in March 2003, still with him now 3 year on (didnt officially get together until the November 2003, but really we'd been together for ages!

Reply 9

Scarlett_Jewel

1

I met my first love (and serious boyfriend) on the internet.

Though, I'd personally steer clear of those websites which openly advertise for dating etc. You'd be better off browsing and participating in forums/sites in relation to things that interest you. That way things are slower, but more natural, if you happen to come across someone with whom you click...

Reply 10

Apricot Fairy

16

Lyndzxx

Internet dating does not work out, i have already explained why in another simler thered and to be compleatly honest you might to not be as bad as you think. You should try and talk to some guys you like. And see where it goes from there. It sounds like you have self-confidence issues.

Lets hope Blissy/Daveo, Sam/Dan, Juno/Mark and any of the other millions of couples on here don't see this thread then! They might not be aware that their relationships are failing.

Anyway, I know it's not quite the same, but I met my ex-boyfriend at school and we only got to know each other properly on the internet because at first we were too shy to talk to each other much in real life. We went out for 18 months and he's now one of my best friends after 5 years of knowing him properly.

Reply 11

horrorcops

1

I've met some good and not so good people online. I guess it's just another way to meet people. But mostly not alot of people who search on the internet are up for relationships i'd say. But it may also depend on the site.

I found my bf online. I think it's complicated though, i think you shoudln't be so much on the look out all the time, then maybe something will come alone either way. :wink:

Reply 12

Apricot Fairy

16

I agree. I really wanted to be with someone for the whole of last year and got pretty down about it all. Now I'm not too bothered for the meantime, there are possibilities everywhere.

Reply 13

Angelil

19

Definitely. I wouldn't advise going on dating sites or actively searching for a boyfriend on the internet. I met my boyfriend through my university fora and we just started talking online as friends first. The internet is just a place, and no different to meeting someone through a friend or in a club.

Reply 14

Daveo

16

Lyndzxx

Internet dating does not work out, .

No? Well I disagree. Of course it does depend on your definition of "internet dating" i'm not sure what would happen if you actively went searching for a partner online using dating sites etc, I assume it'd be the same as anywhere else, love doesn't tend to find you when you're looking for it.
I dont see how the internet is much different for finding people to talk to than going to a club pissed out of your brains and pulling randoms which hundreds of thousnads of people do every night of the year. Yes the internet has more of a stigma attached to it for being 'geeky' but if thats what bothers you then you need to take a serious look at how you see yourself, perhaps you're more bothered about what others might think of you than you are about yourself.

I don't see how you can generalise in such a way saying it doesn't work as you can only take from your experience which althogh might rule out finding someone online for you, it doesn't mean it should rule it out for anyone else. I've got 10 months of a successful relationship in my pocket which says you're talking ****, I never expected a relationship to come from that direction but it did, and its not like we we're "dating" before we'd met as some internet relationships appear begin. However the first time we met, already knowing quite a lot about each other from our time online, there was a spark, would you like to explain to me how that spark is any different to metting someone in a pub, in the street or anywhere else? I appreciate the fact that people may not be genuine online and would always encourage people to be careful but who is to say your man in a club isn't a rapist murderer?

So in conclusion, In my opinion the internet shouldn't be a place to actively seek love in the same sense that when you actively seek it anywhere you wont find it. But it's a good way of getting to know a huge number of people and why, if you get on with someone shouldn't you take it furthur and meet up? If a relationship forms from there then good for you, if it doesnt...it doesnt. I know I will never regret going to meet blissy and if anyone wants to think i'm sad for meeting someone online :rolleyes:

then they can go **** themselves because i'm happier than i've ever been and thats all that counts in the end.

Reply 15

blissy

15

Daveo

I know I will never regret going to meet blissy and if anyone wants to think i'm sad for meeting someone online :rolleyes:

then they can go **** themselves because i'm happier than i've ever been and thats all that counts in the end.

*sniff*

Reply 16

blissy

15

Lyndzxx

Internet dating does not work out, i have already explained why in another simler thered.

You can't denounce all internet relationships as unworkable simply because you had a bad experience with a bad man in the past (The post I assume you are referring to is this one: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showpost.php?p=3822859&postcount=2 )

Reply 17

Lauren Hart

3

awww Daveo!

I have to say im the same though, despite all the stigma attatched, i will never regret the day i met up with my bf two years ago (on monday, jeeze, has it been that long :O ) its not an ideal relationship, but i couldnt love anyone more completely, and i dont think i could be loved more completely. Im so remarkably happy and have been for a long time now! and remember, you can meet a mudering rapist at a bar just as easily as on the internet. So just remember to be safe when you meet up with people anywhere anytime, whether you met them online or in some random bar whilst too sauced to remember if they even had hair on their head!

Reply 18

Dude

14

I know that Internet relationships can work both from personal experience and from friends. One of my mates from America met his girlfriend over the Internet, they fell in love and are still together today. They talk to each other over the phone every day, go on MSN every day and I know how much they care about each other.

And though I'm not sure, I reckon I am heading towards one with Miss Tammy and its going pretty well so far between us :p:

.

Reply 19

Alpott

1

There's nothing wrong with using the internet to find someone, you're still two people on each end anyway, It's no different to finding and talking to people in "Real Life" You're just communicating in a different way!

Internet Dating

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