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    #1

    Argh i've got the hugest crush on one of my college teachers - I'm 18 and don't know what to do - i want to fancy guys my own age but i just can't stop thinking about this woman - she is everything i admire and aspire to be....

    Any other girls ever felt this way about female teachers?

    Anyone got any *helpful* advice?
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    Maybe that is all it is, you just aspire to be like her and admire her. More of an infatuation than something more serious.
    Sorry to be blunt.
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    I've had teachers who I admire and aspire to. I want to be them and whatever, but I don't fancy them.
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    What do you fancy about her? Is it her good looks or what? Does she inspire you a lot?

    Tell us more .
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    Sometimes we have a tendancy to admire and respect teachers so much that we confuse sexual attraction and 'hero worship'. Are you sure you fancy her in the hormonal sense?
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    would you want to sleep with her?
    are you fit?
    can i watch?

    answer the third question first
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Yes i'm attracted to her - she's very good looking. She's kind, caring and interested in what students are doing. She is quite similar to me and has the same values and opinions so i guess that's part of what inspires me.

    I'm very aware of a need for nurturing and attention within myself so i know this is only a crush and have just got to ride it out (god knows i've had enough crushes in the past!) but it's so hard to go to class everyday and lust after someone i just can't have.

    I'll be leaving in May but until then i don't know what to do! It hurts
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    #1

    I am really confused actually - I know part of what i feel is hero worship to a certain degree but then i really do fancy the pants off her aswell!
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    Can't people see this thread is a wind up?

    Just seach the other threads by this person ^o)
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    by anon ? how?
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    (Original post by dave777)
    Can't people see this thread is a wind up?

    Just seach the other threads by this person ^o)
    The person is Anonymous meaning that it can be any member:rolleyes:
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    To the OP
    I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
    First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
    It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
    It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
    And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
    Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.
    • #2
    #2

    hey, i really really love my teacher but he's a guy (im a girl).. ive liked him for the past 6 years!!!!!!!!!!!! im a right wierdo huh!
    Hes handsome in my opinion, although some kids dont think so (im 18 still at college) and he's soo funny and kind and really helpful and caring and.... the list is endless! I dont know if its infatuation cause its lasted for all these years and i just feel stronger towards him so i dunno...
    Theres not really much you can do really i dont think...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Argh i've got the hugest crush on one of my college teachers - I'm 18 and don't know what to do - i want to fancy guys my own age but i just can't stop thinking about this woman - she is everything i admire and aspire to be....

    Any other girls ever felt this way about female teachers?

    Anyone got any *helpful* advice?
    I know this is unhelpful, but dear God do you know *how* hot that is


    Being more helpful, I echo those that suggest it's an infatuation. Many people fancy people they aspire to be, it's not something that's weird or wrong. What kind of crush is it? A feeling of admiration or a desire to be with her? Have you ever felt this way about any other women? Fancying a teacher you admire doesn't make you gay or bi, however there may be more to it. Talk to someone you trust if you can, it may help you come to terms with what you feel, and they'd be able to provide better advice than we would, knowing you.
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    Well I've been in love with a teacher, in fact I still am, he just works somewhere else now. I suppose you just know the difference between a crush and a more serious infatuation/other.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am really confused actually - I know part of what i feel is hero worship to a certain degree but then i really do fancy the pants off her aswell!
    Well uh...?
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    i want to fancy guys my own age but i just can't stop thinking about this woman
    Would just like to say one thing. Dont try and "force" yourself to start liking guys just because you like a girl. If thats who you are then its better to try and accept it, although it may just be a "phase" or one-off sorta thing (if that all makes sense)
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    (Original post by Pretty Boy)
    Girl, something is really missing in your life.

    You sound as if you have low self-esteem.

    You remind me of a poor person who thinks that money will bring them happiness.
    oh right.

    anyway, OP: [insert obligatory sexual innuendo here]

    If she 'swings that way', then the question becomes slightly more difficult, but if not, you're never gonna have her, so just give up. i'm sure many other people, certainly boys, go through a similar thing all through their school life, albeit not with a teacher of the same sex. Enjoy the fantasy, and soon enough someone who is attainable will come along, blah blah blah...
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    #3

    I feel the same way about one of my teachers. I left the school she was at last summer but still cant get over her. I think its because she is everything that I want to be - and its more an aspiration than a crush. But I know how it feels. It takes time to get over it, I still think about her now. I think its quite common among young people and something you will grow out of.
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    I haven't personally, no, but I have a friend who definitely has a crush on one of my teachers (although we never talk about it) - both are female, bdw. I think it's fairly common - are you at an all girl's school? This teacher is very inspirational, and at age 17/18 you're unlikely to have met men/boys your age who have the same passion for subjects etc., and this is part of the attraction.
    Enjoy it, and realise that it is natural, and will fizzle out eventually. Just as long as you don't tell her/make her uncomfortable!
 
 
 
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