I fancy my female teacher - I'm a girl

she is everything i admire and aspire to be....

Regardless of what you want to call it, what difference does it make? If you like a womman then you do so. Whether you or someone else thinks that means you are straight, bi, gay or whatever is really of secondary importance. Don't worry too much about it. Only you can know how you feel about another person, and most likely words will not suffice to explain it without ambiguity. If you feel a certain way then you and only you can figure it out. Noone else should have the right to tell you that it is either "not really love" or that it means you are this or that. These are your feelings, they belong to you, and noone else has any right to say that you don't really feel the way you do.

To the OP
I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.

To the OP
I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.

I felt that way too... he left our school last year, and I was so gutted becuase he was so cute and such a nice guy...I know it sounds hard, but time will eventually help you decrease your "obsession"" and hopefully you'll be able to look back about her fondly, but not in a depressed way.

To the OP
I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.

just wanted to say thankyou so much to "Angelil." u expressed exactly what i feel and made me feel so much better about the situation. xx