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I fancy my female teacher - I'm a girl watch

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    • #6
    #6

    I have had a similar experience with a few female teachers but i didn't ever find myself sexually attracted to them, although it is extremely normal for everyone to go through a stage of fancing the same sex. It's a part of puberty.

    I agree with everyone here. I worked out that it is just hero-worshipping and admiration. My problem is i've had this with a few female teachers for about 5 years now but for the last 2 years or so it's simply been admiration for a specific teacher not so much of an obsession and certainly not fancy them.

    One teacher actually left and i was depressed for days and i used to cry a lot but i soon got over it. At the time i didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. It sounds really bad but i found school holidays very difficult. I'm nothing like that now though, i just admire them.

    I think my problem was due to a lack of a good friendship with my mother (hence female teachers) and problems at home. I just wanted them to take notice of me and like some of you have said, to care for me. I would have done anything for their attention when i was about 13.
    • #7
    #7

    One time i found myself sittin after school in a detention and i thought to myself, that man who put me in detention, that man who had MADE me earn his respect: i loved him, i knew it was true IT WAS TRUE! praise jesus! then i came to think myself, perhaps WE could go fly-fishing to the mountains like in that movie i saw one time with my friend, BRAD. if only it were so but he'll never love me the way i love him, we'll never share the same feelins, the SAME PASSION!!! how i long for sweet death... sweet sweet candy... i mean death...
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    This is really sick but I always fancied my PE teachers.
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    Regardless of what you want to call it, what difference does it make? If you like a womman then you do so. Whether you or someone else thinks that means you are straight, bi, gay or whatever is really of secondary importance. Don't worry too much about it. Only you can know how you feel about another person, and most likely words will not suffice to explain it without ambiguity. If you feel a certain way then you and only you can figure it out. Noone else should have the right to tell you that it is either "not really love" or that it means you are this or that. These are your feelings, they belong to you, and noone else has any right to say that you don't really feel the way you do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she is everything i admire and aspire to be....
    I think this is the answer to your problem, it seems like maybe your mixing feelings of respect for feelings of love????
    Only a maybe thoe and you seem to be concerned about having feelings for someone of the same sex?
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    (Original post by Jonatan)
    Regardless of what you want to call it, what difference does it make? If you like a womman then you do so. Whether you or someone else thinks that means you are straight, bi, gay or whatever is really of secondary importance. Don't worry too much about it. Only you can know how you feel about another person, and most likely words will not suffice to explain it without ambiguity. If you feel a certain way then you and only you can figure it out. Noone else should have the right to tell you that it is either "not really love" or that it means you are this or that. These are your feelings, they belong to you, and noone else has any right to say that you don't really feel the way you do.
    *applauds*
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    if you are in love then give it a shot
    • #6
    #6

    I think that's a stupid solution! How can she go out with a teacher?
    • #8
    #8

    I thought I 'fancied' a female teacher of mine for years, but now that I've left and never see her I've realised that I just admire her because she has had exactly the sort of life (so far) that I want for myself!
    • #9
    #9

    (Original post by Angelil)
    To the OP
    I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
    First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
    It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
    It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
    And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
    Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.
    just wanted to say thankyou so much to "Angelil." u expressed exactly what i feel and made me feel so much better about the situation. xx
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    awww thankyou that's OK
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    (Original post by Angelil)
    To the OP
    I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
    First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
    It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
    It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
    And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
    Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.
    lets note now that it doesn't just happen to 15-17 yr olds because I am going thru the same thing and let me tell you- i am 28 and my college teacher is probably 36 or so- this has happened before with male teachers and the past couple of years I have come to realize that I am bisexual but never have been in a relationship with a girl. Only guys- been in love with a few men in my life, actually but now that I'm over the last one, I started college again last year and this year realizing that I can't stop thinking about my female teacher- she's beautiful (in my eyes) and sweet and caring and smart and if it wasn't for her being my teach i would make a move on her- it drives me crazy and I just want it to stop- or do I? my work is excellent in this class and i just have this overwhelming feeling of wanting her to take care of me cause she's so nurturing. last year I started feeling this way but it went away over the summer cause i didn't have interaction with her. I have at least 3 more years of her being my teacher- aagh!!!!!! what's a girl 2 do? I can't just drop out cause I finally found what I want to do with my life- which is probably another reason I like her so much cause she's a big part of my life right now- she's teaching me about the things i'm interested in and basically shaping my life- she's also my academic advisor and I'm constantly coming up with excuses to talk with her about my education- half of it is really things I need to know and half of it is just wanting her attention.-- let's just say she's amazing and I've never liked someone so intelligent and funny and sweet-- my boyfriends were unintelligent and mean-streaked, but I've come to a point in my life where I want someone nice for a change-- i just want to meet someone who can take my mind off of her- do the switchover if you will, but how can I when I'll be comparing everyone to her cause she's so amazing???? I'm not miserable, just happy and confused and overwhelmed with desire :confused:
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    Sweet...
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    I actually think quite a few girls have crushes on female teachers... I know I did! Try not to worry about it and what it means - or doesn't mean - with regard to your sexuality.
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    I felt that way too... he left our school last year, and I was so gutted becuase he was so cute and such a nice guy...I know it sounds hard, but time will eventually help you decrease your "obsession"" and hopefully you'll be able to look back about her fondly, but not in a depressed way.
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    (Original post by PurpleSnow)
    I felt that way too... he left our school last year, and I was so gutted becuase he was so cute and such a nice guy...I know it sounds hard, but time will eventually help you decrease your "obsession"" and hopefully you'll be able to look back about her fondly, but not in a depressed way.
    Female fancying male and female fancying female is totally different, you realise....
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    I don't think you 'like' her in that way, I think you just feel hugely inspired by her and want to be her. I felt like this towards my old english teacher, I wanted to know everything she did, spend every minute with her just to hear everything she said, but in no way did i have any sexual feelings towards her. Perhaps you just feel like this :confused: x
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    (Original post by Angelil)
    To the OP
    I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
    First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
    It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
    It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
    And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
    Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.
    wow i feel EXACTLY the same right now
    • #10
    #10

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    just wanted to say thankyou so much to "Angelil." u expressed exactly what i feel and made me feel so much better about the situation. xx
    Me too. I didn't realise this happened to other people as well.
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    Sorry, I know no-one has posted in this thread for almost 2 years but I just came across it and wanted to say that I felt the exact same way about a female teacher for a long time. I don't think I ever had any sexual feelings towards her although I did question why I was being so obsessed and thinking about her so much. But as I've grown up I've realised it was just admiration and sort of weirdly wanting to be close to someone older than me. It was very confusing at the time, but being a teenager is like that. I've felt the same way about a male teacher aswell and it's very hard to sometimes realise whether it's love/infatuation and if it's fancying them physically/just emotional love. And it's also very frustrating when they don't seem to reciprocate your feelings or care about you as much as you care about them. And when you just want to know every detail of their life and be with them all the time, think about everything they've said..
    And at the time it seemed ridiculous for someone to say 'you just have to forget about it and find someone your own age' but really that's all you can do and just hope it goes away (which it will in time).
 
 
 
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