What to do...

I'm really stuck about what to do at the moment :frown:

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My current boyfriend is living perhaps 50 miles from me, and I don't get to see him very often. The only time really we get to chat is Thursdays/Fridays when he comes online. Also, I think that I may have come into this relationship because I was just really desperate for someone to love... I've been with this guy for over three months now. He's really affectionate, but wants to do things at a faster pace than what I'm ready for.

Now, a guy who goes to my school has just admitted he fancies me, and so I'm not sure what to do! I think I fancy this guy back (and have done for a while), but I don't know what to do with my current relationship...

I am really scared of breaking up with my current boyfriend; he will be so devastated... but at the same time, staying in a loveless relationship probably isn't the best thing to do...

I need help :frown:

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Please offer advice...

Reply 1

Dekota

Anonymous

Now, a guy who goes to my school has just admitted he fancies me, and so I'm not sure what to do! I think I fancy this guy back (and have done for a while), but I don't know what to do with my current relationship...

I am really scared of breaking up with my current boyfriend; he will be so devastated... but at the same time, staying in a loveless relationship probably isn't the best thing to do...

The best thing here to do is to dump your boyfriend and accept this other guy.

If you find it hard to tell your bf this, then just say you've realised that you like girls (you're a lesbian) or something to that effect.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Dekota

The best thing here to do is to dump your boyfriend and accept this other guy.

If you find it hard to tell your bf this, then just say you've realised that you like girls (you're a lesbian) or something to that effect.

Thank you for the advice :smile:

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Reply 3

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

I'm really stuck about what to do at the moment :frown:

...

My current boyfriend is living perhaps 50 miles from me, and I don't get to see him very often. The only time really we get to chat is Thursdays/Fridays when he comes online. Also, I think that I may have come into this relationship because I was just really desperate for someone to love... I've been with this guy for over three months now. He's really affectionate, but wants to do things at a faster pace than what I'm ready for.

Now, a guy who goes to my school has just admitted he fancies me, and so I'm not sure what to do! I think I fancy this guy back (and have done for a while), but I don't know what to do with my current relationship...

I am really scared of breaking up with my current boyfriend; he will be so devastated... but at the same time, staying in a loveless relationship probably isn't the best thing to do...

I need help :frown:

...

Please offer advice...

Long distance relationships might work for some people. but I dont get them.
Relationships are about intimacy and being close spending time together and things. God knows how this boyfriend of yours is moving fast if you only speak thursdays and fridays via the computer.

Get rid and go for someone closer to home, that way things can move at whatever steady pace that you feel comfortable with, and you wont feel obliged to go any faster than you're ready for as you wont feel you only have occasional chances, if you know what i mean.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

El Scotto

Long distance relationships might work for some people. but I dont get them.
Relationships are about intimacy and being close spending time together and things. God knows how this boyfriend of yours is moving fast if you only speak thursdays and fridays via the computer.

Get rid and go for someone closer to home, that way things can move at whatever steady pace that you feel comfortable with, and you wont feel obliged to go any faster than you're ready for as you wont feel you only have occasional chances, if you know what i mean.

Ok, thank you for your advice :smile:

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Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone else got any advice? I really hate the thought of leaving my current boyfriend; I don't really think I can put him through it... people have left me in the past, and I know how horrible it feels...

Reply 6

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

It depends whos happiness you value more - his or your own. Of course finishing with someone is never easy but if you genuinely don't have feelings for him then it's nicer in the long run to let him go. You don't have to tell him you've met someone else, just that distance is too much and that you'd rather keep him as a friend then end up resenting him for being so far away (or some other colourful excuse like that).

I get the impression you're kinda scared that if you finish with him and pick up with this other lad and then that doesn't work out you'll be left on your own - is that the case?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Tarts_n_Vicars

It depends whos happiness you value more - his or your own. Of course finishing with someone is never easy but if you genuinely don't have feelings for him then it's nicer in the long run to let him go. You don't have to tell him you've met someone else, just that distance is too much and that you'd rather keep him as a friend then end up resenting him for being so far away (or some other colourful excuse like that).

I get the impression you're kinda scared that if you finish with him and pick up with this other lad and then that doesn't work out you'll be left on your own - is that the case?

I really want him to be happy; he's a lovely person, yet, well, I don't think it's really working between us... plus, the distance really is quite a lot - I hardly ever get to see him offline, and that's hard. Ok, thanks for the advice about that.

That's very intuitive of you... well, it could be part of my worry, though my main worry is how upset he would be, and he may not even want to speak to me any more... I really don't want to ruin his life; when people have broken up with me in the past I've been very depressed, and so I understand how he could feel...

Reply 8

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

I know it's hard to break up but if you rarely see each other anyway and tell him you want to stay good friends then it's not half as bad as "that's it I've met someone else and I don't want you anymore".

Good luck anyway :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Tarts_n_Vicars

I know it's hard to break up but if you rarely see each other anyway and tell him you want to stay good friends then it's not half as bad as "that's it I've met someone else and I don't want you anymore".

Good luck anyway :smile:

Thanks for the advice :smile:

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Reply 10

Cirsium

19

You want him to be happy... but is he going to be happy if you're with him and thinking of someone else? No. Also the more you like the other guy the more you're not gonna do stuff with your boyfriend - i.e. if he's trying to move fast now it works. Thirdly much as you like the guy, do you want a boyfriend who is trying to move too fast for you?

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