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I can't take banter.
"Banter" - supposed to be a fun little thing that people do to make everything more fun or whatever?
Yeah, every time someone cracks a joke at me or just messes around at me, I take it serious and get offended, and then feel sorry for myself (like why do that to me but no one else?)
So that makes me feel pretty boring - I am usually serious and I rarely ever make jokes etc. Is this something that can be developed or am I just doomed to being boring forever?
Yeah, every time someone cracks a joke at me or just messes around at me, I take it serious and get offended, and then feel sorry for myself (like why do that to me but no one else?)
So that makes me feel pretty boring - I am usually serious and I rarely ever make jokes etc. Is this something that can be developed or am I just doomed to being boring forever?
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I have a friend like this and it has resulted in her being a hermit, because she's so serious no one can be bothered with her anymore and shes the last one to be asked out on a night out if even asked at all.
Wise up, crack a smile (it doesn't hurt) and stop taking things so seriously or you will be boring forever
Wise up, crack a smile (it doesn't hurt) and stop taking things so seriously or you will be boring forever
Original post by Jaidenh
I have a friend like this and it has resulted in her being a hermit, because she's so serious no one can be bothered with her anymore and shes the last one to be asked out on a night out if even asked at all.
Wise up, crack a smile (it doesn't hurt) and stop taking things so seriously or you will be boring forever
Wise up, crack a smile (it doesn't hurt) and stop taking things so seriously or you will be boring forever
This friend of yours, does she not want to change? Or is she pretty happy being a hermit?
people who are too serious and can't take a joke usually, in my experience, end up being left out of everything.
Most people like to have fun and joke around, and don't like it when their having fun is dampened by people perceived to have giant sticks up their asses.
Most people like to have fun and joke around, and don't like it when their having fun is dampened by people perceived to have giant sticks up their asses.
Banter is usually a test of friendship and trust, if you can take a bit of stick now and again and deal it out without crossing lines, people will be more relaxed and generally more friendly.
Are there any trust issues in your life right now that you feel might affect your ablility to take banter?
Are there any trust issues in your life right now that you feel might affect your ablility to take banter?
Original post by strawberry
people who are too serious and can't take a joke usually, in my experience, end up being left out of everything.
Most people like to have fun and joke around, and don't like it when their having fun is dampened by people perceived to have giant sticks up their asses.
Most people like to have fun and joke around, and don't like it when their having fun is dampened by people perceived to have giant sticks up their asses.
Original post by major_mishap
Banter is usually a test of friendship and trust, if you can take a bit of stick now and again and deal it out without crossing lines, people will be more relaxed and generally more friendly.
Are there any trust issues in your life right now that you feel might affect your ablility to take banter?
Are there any trust issues in your life right now that you feel might affect your ablility to take banter?
Original post by Feem
Yeah that's pretty much me, but do you think it can be changed? Like are there ways I can stop being so serious and just lighten up with a sense of humor?
it's possible, but you really have to want to make a change because this is about changing a part of your personality to get along with more people than you already do
I have a few friends whom I met and were initially very serious, but once they got to know my group and our sense of humor, they definitely lightened up and took everything with a grain of salt.I mean, if I got mad every single time when they made short jokes or Asian jokes, I would definitely not be a very nice person to be around. I know they love me, and I love them, so we make jabs at each other all the time like "Stupid 'Merican" and "dumb dirty foreigner stealing our jobs!" xD
Original post by Feem
I don't think it's trust issues, it's more about me not knowing whether someone is joking or not, like why would they say it if they didn't mean it? I just get offended.
I think you need to be more aware of what the mood is. When people are hanging out together at coffee shops, for example, why would anybody have a serious talk? it usually comprises of talking about things that happened in their lives, funny articles they read ... weird things that happened. So why would anybody suddenly turn around and say something to you that was meant to be insulting? I also think it's about your comfort level with these people. Around strangers, then I understand caution and wariness, but if it's a close knit group, why would anybody insult you intentionally?
Think about it
Just relax and give the banter back!
You're probably an only child or the first born(50/50 with first borns). It's typical of them not to be able to take a joke. Usually they reply to the light hearted banter with something deeply offensive, at least you're not.
Don't give the banter back if you are an only child, you haven't developed the social skills to do this and will only make everyone hate you.
Don't give the banter back if you are an only child, you haven't developed the social skills to do this and will only make everyone hate you.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by McHumpy92
You're probably an only child or the first born. It's typical of them not to be able to take a joke. Usually they reply to the light hearted banter with something deeply offensive, at least you're not.
Don't give the banter back if you are an only child, you haven't developed the social skills to do this and will only make everyone hate you.
Don't give the banter back if you are an only child, you haven't developed the social skills to do this and will only make everyone hate you.
Wow if u cant take a joke thats sad...
But I guess u do laugh rite??
But I guess u do laugh rite??
Original post by McHumpy92
You're probably an only child or the first born. It's typical of them not to be able to take a joke. Usually they reply to the light hearted banter with something deeply offensive, at least you're not.
Don't give the banter back if you are an only child, you haven't developed the social skills to do this and will only make everyone hate you.
Don't give the banter back if you are an only child, you haven't developed the social skills to do this and will only make everyone hate you.
LOL...I wish I had the banter skills of my older brother
Original post by dollar
LOL...I wish I had the banter skills of my older brother
Not always eldest child. Pretty much 100% with only child. Eldest child is usually 50/50 depends how their parents treated them, basically if spoilt because first born.
Original post by Feem
That's true actually, but do you think it can be changed?
Hard to say. But I can usually pick out only child kids pretty easy. I'm kind of the opposite as a youngest of 5 and a very jokey kind of guy.
I honestly don't know if it can be changed, but from my experience only child kids generally fall out with their friends a lot. You're better off putting a fake laugh on and not saying anything back. It doesn't make you a push over unless they're actually being really personal about you or family that has gone beyond banter. But if you're incapable of judging that you've got a problem.
Original post by Jaidenh
I have a friend like this and it has resulted in her being a hermit, because she's so serious no one can be bothered with her anymore and shes the last one to be asked out on a night out if even asked at all.
Wise up, crack a smile (it doesn't hurt) and stop taking things so seriously or you will be boring forever
Wise up, crack a smile (it doesn't hurt) and stop taking things so seriously or you will be boring forever
this, as someone who is very extroverted with quite a banterish sense of humour people like you would very quickly grate on me.
Original post by McHumpy92
Not always eldest child. Pretty much 100% with only child. Eldest child is usually 50/50 depends how their parents treated them, basically if spoilt because first born.
Yea I'd agree with that
You are not boring. I hate banter too. I believe its just an excuse to be rude and I think it is a form of bullying.
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