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Is it weird that im 18 and have never had a boyfriend?

In years 7,8 and 9 my friends were all desperate to have boyfriends and i never really saw the point. When you're 11 or 12 you can't fall in love and are hardly going to find the love of your life and get married.

I'm now at college and ive liked a couple of guys, but at this age loads of them seem to be so annoying and immature. Even if someone were to like me i wouldn't know what to do coz ive never been out with anyone before.

I don't think im excessively ugly and im not particularly overweight. I think maybe i just work too hard so i don't really have the time for a guy at the mo even though i'd love to have one.

Is it weird that I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend?

Any advice, comments, help would be appreciated....

Reply 1

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

Not weird at all. Possibly in the minority (I mean looking at all your mates and that) but hardly weird. People move at different paces, I wouldn't worry about it. :biggrin:

Reply 2

Angelil

19

Not in the slightest.
I went to an all-girls' school, meaning that unless you were extremely sociable outside of school then you weren't really going to meet many blokes. Hence, I found myself in the same situation as you: I was 18 and I left school without having even been kissed.
When I had my first kiss, I was 18 and a half, and at university. I got my first boyfriend when aged 18 yrs 8 months, and I've been with the same bloke ever since (I'm now aged 19 yrs 10 months).
It just needs time, and believe me I know how frustrating that is. I've seen my 15-year-old sister have a relationship with a guy the same age as her, and it was crap. He was a chronic liar and pressured her into sex (luckily she didn't give in!), and of course you have no independence at that age so everything has to be organised through your parents. Where's the fun in that?! Best to wait until you get to our age, and get straight to the good stuff :biggrin:

Reply 3

TrentEnd

2

No,it's not weird at all - for all the reasons you've just said. You'll meet someone soon,just take it slow and see how it goes!

And you'll probably have to kiss a few frogs before you find Prince Charming, but there's no problem with that!!

Reply 4

fairygirl21

2

I think it also depends on how much you make an effort and go out. If you never go out anywhere, you'll never meet new people. But if you do, the chances are you will find someone.

Reply 5

Eien

16

I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend, not even close, so I know exactly how you feel, especially since every single one of my friends has had a relationship at one time or another. But a quote I often think of is "Be good and be lonely" - it sounds quite hopeless, but I take it as quite ironic, and that sometimes the worthiest people of relationships don't have one until later. Like you, I would probably never go out with any girl immediately around me, they are either too immature, uninteresting, distant, don't see them often enough, or simply a true sense of attraction isn't there. The most frustrating feeling I have is that even those who aren't particularly attractive to the opposite sex still somehow seem to "get" a girlfriend as if it is just a normal part of life, whereas I seem totally incapable, even though I have many close female friendships. However, as long as you don't descend into the stage of "I'll never have a gf/bf" then positivity will ensure a partner comes along, some time... However, if you don't even come close like me then the mind programs itself to think that you will never have a partner, and that this sadness is normality - imagining myself with a girlfriend would be utterly amazing and unbelievable, like winning the lottery, but I find the best way to cope is to remember you have an equal potential chance of attracting the opposite sex than anyone else, and that there is no irrational reason why you can't.

Reply 6

Nuheen

12

You shouldnt go out with someone because you are 18 and dont have a bf. Relationship without attraction from both sides is pointless.

Reply 7

Mark_UK

No its not weird im 18 male and in a relationship now with my first proper gf. Maybe you are like me I had a few offers from girls who were quite attractive but I turned them down because I knew there was no way I wanted to spend my whole life with these girls. I could have gone out with them got some experience some action in the bedroom but I would be kidding myself if I thought it would last forever. So I waited for the right person my current gf because she is the type of person I could be with forever and we have similar personalities and Im very happy.

No rush but you will meet someone special sooner or later. As for "knowing what to do" just be yourself and do what feels right.

Reply 8

Jonatan

13

Relax, its quite normal. I first kissed someone when I was 18...

Anyway, you will probably find that relatively few people have actually had a serious relationship by the age of 18 ( And no, getting pissed at a party and making out with someone because you're pissed does NOT count ).

Reply 9

La Trampa

18

Yes it's normal to not have had a bf at the age of 18...you'll find someone you really like soon enough, which means you shouldn't go with just any guy either sexually or relationship wise because you want to be one of the girls who's had a bf before 18/19.... :smile:

you'll be fine you'll see :hugs:

Reply 10

Eien

16

Mark_UK

No its not weird im 18 male and in a relationship now with my first proper gf. Maybe you are like me I had a few offers from girls who were quite attractive but I turned them down because I knew there was no way I wanted to spend my whole life with these girls. I could have gone out with them got some experience some action in the bedroom but I would be kidding myself if I thought it would last forever. So I waited for the right person my current gf because she is the type of person I could be with forever and we have similar personalities and Im very happy.

No rush but you will meet someone special sooner or later. As for "knowing what to do" just be yourself and do what feels right.

Lucky you! I have never even had the slightest hint of any offer from anyone, if I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with somebody, chances are they wouldn't in the first place either, and any hint of romance is over before it is started. Then again, I often don't "make any move" because I have never met anybody with whom it would be worth it, nobody has yet been able to make that true connection with me, and I believe that love is when somebody can see you and all your beauty without you having to utter a single word. (Obviously after getting to know the person).

Reply 11

elyse180887

1

well im 18 & i have never had a really boyfriend either!! im not really bothered by it though as i have yet to met someone thar i really want to be in realtionship wiht. i figure i may as well wait to be ina relationship that is meaningful rather then waste my time time somthing which means nothing! we are only 18 after all. we have our entire lives ahead of us yet!

Reply 12

different?

2

Angelil

Not in the slightest.
I went to an all-girls' school, meaning that unless you were extremely sociable outside of school then you weren't really going to meet many blokes. Hence, I found myself in the same situation as you: I was 18 and I left school without having even been kissed.

Exactly the position i'm in now, never had even the slightest offer because there hasn't been anyone around. Can see this being a very long process due to the way i am. But OP it's not abnormal at all.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

I did think somebody liked me a while ago but i didn't do anything about it coz i didn't know what. i've never known someone to like me before.

I don't really know why nobody seems to like me. I think my problem is i don't go out enough but im not a huge drinker and i wouldn't know where to go!
When i have gone out for a meal with some friends they were all comparing their ' sexual experiences ' and talking about their boyfriends and i felt really left out! I felt like a joke coz they all knew i couldn't join in.

I'm a bit of a sad case really!!!!

Reply 14

different?

2

Anonymous

I did think somebody liked me a while ago but i didn't do anything about it coz i didn't know what. i've never known someone to like me before.

I don't really know why nobody seems to like me. I think my problem is i don't go out enough but im not a huge drinker and i wouldn't know where to go!
When i have gone out for a meal with some friends they were all comparing their ' sexual experiences ' and talking about their boyfriends and i felt really left out! I felt like a joke coz they all knew i couldn't join in.

I'm a bit of a sad case really!!!!

Same although i have never been aware of anyone liking me, as i said before it'll probably be a long process.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm worried that this will continue through uni as everyone else will have had relationships and it'll be the first time for me!

I'm not looking for something permanent as im moving away in September, (although it would be nice). It would just be lovely to know i'm not completely repulsive!

Reply 16

Angelil

19

Anonymous

I did think somebody liked me a while ago but i didn't do anything about it coz i didn't know what. i've never known someone to like me before.

I don't really know why nobody seems to like me. I think my problem is i don't go out enough but im not a huge drinker and i wouldn't know where to go!
When i have gone out for a meal with some friends they were all comparing their ' sexual experiences ' and talking about their boyfriends and i felt really left out! I felt like a joke coz they all knew i couldn't join in.

I'm a bit of a sad case really!!!!

Mature people don't talk about their sex lives. It's a private thing and quite rightly so. I understand that it makes you feel left out, but in my opinion, you have the moral high ground.

Reply 17

Leigh

15

It's not weird at all, I wouldn't worry about it. Like has been shown here, and from what I've read in similar threads like this, chances are you'll go straight into a longer term relationship (if that's what you're looking for), as by that age people are clearer on what they want. So the only downside is you getting to skip all the rubbish bits of dating when you're younger!

Reply 18

Becs

I'm 18 and I've never had a boyfriend either, so if you're weird, I'm weird :rolleyes:

I've always been very insecure though, and every time a guy showed any interest, I would give him the '**** off' look :rolleyes:

which didn't help! I'm a firm believer in the impact of body language, and nothing is more inviting to a guy than confidence, I think.

And yes, I am a lot nicer now :p:

-Becs

Reply 19

different?

2

Angelil

Mature people don't talk about their sex lives. It's a private thing and quite rightly so. I understand that it makes you feel left out, but in my opinion, you have the moral high ground.

I agree but having the moral high ground is not always so satisfying when you get into a mood where you feel that you will be alone forever! Hopefully we'll be as lucky as you (you're the person with romantic gentleman for a boyfriend aren't you?)

Is it weird that im 18 and have never had a boyfriend?

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