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    Interesting problem:

    I live in a flat with 5 other people, and one of them is a guy who I normally get on really well with. He's definitely my best friend out of the people I live with. Unfortunately, he has a very obscure taste in music and often plays stuff which can at best be described (by the uninitiated) as a horrible, horrible noise. That's not me making your typical granny-ish comment. I mean that this music has no tune and no lyrics; it's literally just screaming and weird noises. If he wants to listen to that stuff then fair enough. But he always plays it at as loud as he possibly can, with his window wide open and sometimes his door wedged open as well, so that I can hear it much louder than I would be able to hear my own music, playing in my own room.

    I don't want to be the kind of flatmate who's always complaining and asking people to turn their music down, so if I'm not doing anything especially important, I put up with it and don't say anything. That way if it really is important, the person in question is more likely to turn it down. The guy who lives directly next door to me (who I'm not nearly as close to) plays loud music as well, (proper music though) and on the one or two occasions I've asked him to turn it down because I'm trying to work, it hasn't been a problem at all.

    Anyway, this other guy has just been playing his weird music as loud as possible in the kitchen, which is right opposite my room. I've been ill lately, so I had to use my reading week to catch up on my essay deadlines, which means I now have a lot of reading to catch up on before the start of the next semester. I have a long and complicated book to read before tomorrow. Anyway, I went into the kitchen and asked him to turn it down, and he flatly refused. I've only ever asked him to turn it down once before, and he was difficult then as well.

    The conversation was going something like this:

    Me: Please can you turn it down?
    Him: No, it's meant to be this loud. I'm connecting with my music.
    Me: But I'm trying to work.
    Him: So? You can't hear it outside the kitchen.
    Me: Yes you can!
    Him: No you can't.
    Me: Yes you can, it's as loud as if I were playing it in my own room!
    Him: Not my problem.
    Me: But it is mine.
    Him: Don't make it your problem then.
    Me: What am I supposed to do then? :confused:

    What would you do? If it was one of my other flatmates I would have no problems just going straight to the tutor about it, because she and I don't really see eye to eye and we're never going to be best mates. But this guy is a good friend of mine and I don't want us to fall out over this.

    Help!
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    eerm tell the landlord? make a formal complaint...
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    Not particularly helpful of me, but if he's "connecting with the music", I think it might be a lost cause.


    He sounds like what I like to call an Elitist Tosser.


    Maybe see if he refuses again, then ask others if he's been doing the same to them. If they react similarly, confront him calmly and firmly, tell him that he's not just being irritating, but he's being rude, unfair and antisocial. Like i said though, he might be beyond reason, so a different approach might be needed, but it'd be a fair start, I think.
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    Sounds like he needs a slap. A loud slap.
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    I think a solution to that is...let him buy HEADPHONES!!!!
    No matter how loud he wants his music to be, it won't bother you anymore.
    If he doesn't want to use headphones, then you should force him to. Make him realise that he's not the only one living in the flat, and other people may hate working with music on or just don't like music.
    Of course, you should say this in a very nice way 'coz he's your mate.
    Hope that helps a bit...
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    But the problem is, in all other respects he's a lovely guy, and when I've had a few problems recently he's sat up with me at night and we've had a few drinks and talked about stuff. I give him advice about his love life. We're really good friends, and I don't want to ruin that by having a massive argument about the music. But at the same time, if you ask someone nicely to turn it down and they just say no, what can you do?
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    You could ask him again, then if you are that good friends with him, he shouldn't mind so much if you say you won't get the player back unless you keep it quite, then unplug it and take it into your room.

    Otherwise, you could ask the other people in the flat if they could have a try at asking him to turn it down. Or go in, ask again and stay calm and talk it out with him. Guilt trip him if you have to, usually works in the end.
    (Edit: That is probably a really unhelpful post, it depends on your personality, i would just go in there and steal his player until i want to give it back).
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    He's not a friend. Any friend would have more respect for the people they live with than that. I was in this situation last year, got on with the girl, had nice chats with her but she was totally inconsiderate and noisy. She had no respect for me or the other flatmates and this guy sounds the same.
    There are plenty of these people who are lovely and friendly when it suits them but have to get their way all the time, even at the expense of others. Any normal, decent person would have no problem giving up something so silly which is bothering someone this much. I'd be mortified if I thought I was causing someone to lose sleep and worry. Report him. You've already asked him nicely.
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    Sorry, but it's very funny the way you've described the music, I can't stop giggling at the whole situation.

    However, I do feel sorry for you. Hope it's resolved soon.
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    buy some bigger more powerful speakers and see how he likes it
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    He is your best friend there?

    Sounds like that isn't the way he feels, if your friendship was that good then he'd co-operate. As i'm going for a law degree I can't really suggest u use violence but I would suggest u make a formal complaint and let his selfish attitude deal with it.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by ed_m)
    buy some bigger more powerful speakers and see how he likes it
    Definitely, it seems the only way he's going to give in is if you beat him on the noise front. Get some huge speakers and leave it playing while you go out for an hour, when you know he'll be in his room, and come back and survey the damage :p:
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    (Original post by law:portal)
    He is your best friend there?

    Sounds like that isn't the way he feels, if your friendship was that good then he'd co-operate.
    Best friend in my flat, not at uni.... :p:
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    I have to say that this fellow does not sound like much of a pleasant chap. If he really were your friend, he would have been far more sympathetic to your grievance. You should reconsider your relationship. Then, when you have come to the conclusion that he is a nincompoop, harm him viciously in some way.
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    (Original post by olliemccowan)
    Definitely, it seems the only way he's going to give in is if you beat him on the noise front. Get some huge speakers and leave it playing while you go out for an hour, when you know he'll be in his room, and come back and survey the damage :p:
    Unfortunately my kind of music just doesn't GO that loud. I guess I can't understand the need to have it quite that loud because I don't listen to that kind of music......but then, should it really be my problem?
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    (Original post by Airport Fairy)
    Unfortunately my kind of music just doesn't GO that loud. I guess I can't understand the need to have it quite that loud because I don't listen to that kind of music......but then, should it really be my problem?
    If it is interferring with your studies then yes.

    The fact is this guy prob's got all his own way with mammy and daddy and doesn't give a damn bout any of his flat mates.

    Report him :eek:
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    What music is he listening to?
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    (Original post by pineapple_face)
    I have to say that this fellow does not sound like much of a pleasant chap. If he really were your friend, he would have been far more sympathetic to your grievance. You should reconsider your relationship. Then, when you have come to the conclusion that he is a nincompoop, harm him viciously in some way.
    I just spoke to our other friend in the bar (the girl he likes, actually) and apparently he told her what I'd said and she said, "Well what did you expect when you play your music that loudly? And now you've made her feel bad for having to talk to you about it as well!"

    :p:
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    (Original post by morgangills)
    What music is he listening to?
    The kind of bands most normal people have never even heard of....lol. :rolleyes:

    Really extreme, hardcore stuff.
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    Try me.
 
 
 
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