Confused

Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months and everything's going really well. Last night he asked if I'd ever kissed a girl, I told him yeah, when I was drunk but didn't want to tell him any more (it's not much more, we just fooled around a bit) He made me feel bad and I felt like I had to tell him, so I did. Then he insisted on telling me about a 'relationship' he had with a guy a few years back (He's 20 now). I kept telling him I didn't want to know but he told me anyway, saying he wanted to be honest with me, even though I didn't ask about it. I refused to hear the details, coz I figure I wouldn't want to know if it was a girl, so why would I wanna know about a guy? We didn't really talk much about it, he said it was just kinda experimenting, and he's totally straight etc, but now I can't stop thinking about it. I feel so weird about it, I knew he'd slept with girls and although he said he didn't have sex with this boy, it's really strange for me. I am the most open-minded person I know, so I don't understand why I feel this way, but it's confusing me so much. He's coming to get me a bit later and I don't even want to see him; I couldn't kiss him goodbye last night! I really am not homophobic in the slightest so why am I so bothered? I don't know how I should be feeling, or if I should talk to him, even though I really don't want to know any more than I want to.
Sorry it's so long and pretty boring but I needed to get it outa my system and if any of you lovely people can give me some advice it'd be very much appreciated. Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

ChemistBoy

He is obviously trying to be open with you, maybe because he wants the relationship to get a bit more serious (conjecture, btw). I think you have to respect him for that. Obviously he wants someone who can be comfortable with him and his past, so it's now up to you to see if you are comfortable with that.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Yeah I know, I get all that and appreciate his honesty but I didn't need to know! We once bumped into my ex for like 2 mins and he was all pissed off that I'd slept with someone who isn't him (I'm 18, have slept with 2 other people, his is wayyyyy more than that)
Oh I don't know, this would be such a stupid thing to break up over but I feel so weird about him now.

Reply 3

-TMG-

Maybe because he was so forward and seemingly ignorant of what you wanted?

My gf probably knows I masturbated in the same room as a friend (with mine and his junk hidden with cushions) since I posted it here. She hasnt said anything cos its very clear I'm straight and the only reason I let my mate watch the porno was cos we were the only ones out that day and were bored and he had never seen a porno before. And I'm a good friend lol.

Anyway maybe he has deeper bi/gay feelings since he was so adamant telling you...ask him or something. If you dont talk you dont know.

Reply 4

SilverWings

It's normal to feel like that - I'm a gay girl and when I found out that my girlfriend [now ex] had been with guys, it messed my head up. I'm comfortable and sure of my sexuality, she wasn't. It basically went through my head that maybe I wasn't what she wanted, I couldn't give her what a guy could. I couldn't have FULL sex with her like that. The furthest I could go was oral, a guy could go further than that. Was that more?? Was sex with a guy better than sex with me?? Does she want a guy now?? Does she want ME to be a guy??

At the end of the day that's what ruined our relationship. Me constantly thinking about how I compared and wondering what she really wanted. Turns out she wanted me, but me being me I didn't see that until we split up.

At the end of the day he is with you, and he wants to be with you. Sure, stuff has happened in the past but don't take it the wrong way. OK, so maybe he didn't shut up when you wanted him to but that's probably just because he's been wanting to tell you for a long time.

Just because you feel strange about him doesn't make you homophobic, it makes you human :smile: