i need to vent

Why do i feel so amazingly screwed up right now? I don't get. One minute i'm fine, the next i'm sat in the dark, in tears not knowing what the **** came over me. Not knowing if this is the beggining of another depressive episode. I'm so angry at myself cos i shouldn't feel like this. Life isn't treating me badly, and i've been pretty happy the past few weeks, but right now i just feel like ****. I just feel like i want to crawl in aball and die. I just want these feelings to go away. I dont want to hurt myself and i'm so scared i might if this gets any worse. i'm grateful that i have no alcohol in my room cos i know i'd drink it, and worsen this. and believe me when i say i need a damn drink. i just feel like i need to do something but i don't know what.
I don't want to have to tell my bf these feelings cos like i, he won't understand where they've come from or why i feel like this right now. hell i dont understand it. I feel like i can't do anything. i just feel like all this control i've built up, all this happy me, is going to go to ****, and i'm going to lose it all over again. why aren't i allowed to be happy? why won't my stupid mind let me just be hapy, why do i ahve to feel like this??? :mad:

ED related rant-Trigger warning

Spoiler

I'm sorry this is a really long rant, i just needed to get it off my chest. sorry :frown:

Reply 1

bitchmonkey

so what is it that's making you feel this way? love or just life? You prob here this from loads of ppl because i know how you feel. I feel really restricted and after a while it builds up and the next thing i know i've locked myself in my room for days.

My family are really strict but i won't bore you with that. :smile:

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