The Student Room Group

feel bad, boyfriend driving us everywhere

I feel bad. my bf can drive, I'm learning at the moment. and I feel bad because everytime we go anyway, he's always the one driving. like if I say, 'lets go to the cinema, my treat' he won't go on a bus like i'd be willing too. he drives. and it's making me feel bad that he has to drive me around places. like he picks me up every night so we can go the gym, then drops me back off. it feels like he's a taxi for me sometimes. anything I can do? I've tried giving him some money for petrol but being I pretty skint I can't often afford it. (or when I have it, it goes on things for me, like soap ect) any ideas?

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Reply 1
Remind him that there are these things called trains and buses.
It does sound like he is the one offering though, suggesting he's happy with the current arrangement.
If you feel like you need to do something to restore the balance of the universe in between now and you passing your test, take him out for a meal one night when you have the money - so the meal's on you - as a way of saying thanks.
If he really likes you I'm sure he's doing it to feel like he's doing nice things for you. Find other ways to pay him back, suprises etc. , rather than refusing his generousity.
Best of luck
Si
You might feel bad for it but he might enjoy it... I passed my test about a month ago now and my boyfriend can't drive...I've driven us everywhere but I enjoy it! Maybe he feels the same?
Reply 4
You spend your own money on things like soap? How skint ARE you?
Reply 5
send him a card saying how thankful you are for all the lifts - it might seem a bit silly, but i'd much prefer the thought behind that than to have money spent on me
My boyfriend's a police officer and I am a penniless student so he drives everywhere and pays for everything. I sometimes feel bad, and have told him but the way he sees it is that he can afford it, and wants to do nice things with me, so he doesn't mind at all. I know he'd tell me if he had a problem with it so it's cool :smile:
Just talk to your boyfriend, make sure he knows you appreciate it!
Don't feel bad, he's the chap!
Reply 8
segat1
You spend your own money on things like soap? How skint ARE you?



very skint this month. :p: that's ebay for you. but no, I'm not skint as in the sense of having no money, just skint compared to him. :p:
Reply 9
jaydoh
Don't feel bad, he's the chap!

HAHA! You sound just like my Dad! :biggrin:
When you pass your driving test, drive HIM around everywhere:p:
Reply 11
dont worry. i have passed my test and boyfriend hasn't so i drive us everywhere and i like it. he has paid for petrol but he knows i want drive to places further away because of my parents want let me, which i am fine with.
Reply 12
Similar to my situation. I can drive, passed 1st time cuz im good lol, only joking. My gf is not old enough to drive. I dont drive us about everywhere but I do sometimes like when we go to the pics etc. She ofers to go on the bus which sometimes we do if I dont want to take the car. What I would say if he wants to drive you about rather than get public transport let him but make sure you tell him how gratefull you are. My gf often says she feels bad for me driving her around but I dont mind because she appreciates it and doesnt take me for a mug. On the other hand one of my mates is an arrogant **** who does not appreciate it, I felt like telling the **** to walk but I decided to grin and bear it.
Reply 13
well if he goes too, then there isn't really a problem. maybe he likes driving? and i doubt he would do it if he wasn't happy with doing it.. so.
Reply 14
my boyfriend tends to drive. mostly cos i can't and he has a car.

sometimes i feel bad that he mostly drives over to me [we live about 25 mins from each other] but he understands that's it's a lot to ask my parents to take me all the way to his all the time.

and even if i do get the train, he still has to pick me up from the station.

so we kinda have this arrangement thing where he'll drive, pay for petrol and... err... other things, and if we go out i'll pay for [most] of the meal, or for the cinema or whatever.

and that kinda balances it all out for us. and that way i dont feel guilty about him driving me everywhere and using up a lot of petrol on me.
Reply 15
Angelil
It does sound like he is the one offering though, suggesting he's happy with the current arrangement.

Agreed its not as if yor pressurising him to do it, and its not as if hes cancelling big plans to drive you places either.
Plus its not as if your taking advantage, and you do say you pay for petrol sometimes i dont think you should feel bad at all really.
Not as if you would feel bad if a family member did the same for you is it??? and this is pretty much the same thing
Reply 16
wholly

so we kinda have this arrangement thing where he'll drive, pay for petrol and... err... other things, and if we go out i'll pay for [most] of the meal, or for the cinema or whatever.


Harsh. Petrol is waaay cheaper than going out. If I could drive, I would want to be a taxi service for my girlfriend.

But I'm a bit weird.
i have to drive my boyf everywhere, hes banned, so im his taxi service. lol he pays for cinema tickets in return
My boyfriend used to drive me everywhere and I didn't really mind tbh! It was his parents' car, so he didn't have to pay for petrol or anything which made it better I guess. But I just gave him little presents, like his favourite sweets and stuff like that. And now that I can drive, I drive him everywhere!
lazydays
HAHA! You sound just like my Dad! :biggrin:


It's so true though. :biggrin: