Am I A Slut? Watch

agm23
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Please be honest with me - this has been getting me down for a while now, to the point where I absolutely can't stand myself.

I had a boyfriend for 2 and half years, the only boy I had ever slept with or did anything sexually with. Unfortunately, I stopped feeling the same romantically and began to see him more as an extremely close friend (we started out as best friends so there was no real 'lust' to begin with). Sex felt so wrong. I began to hate the fact that I didn't enjoy being intimate with him, particiularly as he is such a wonderful, generous and caring boyfriend (who I simply didn't deserve!) - I just fell out of love. I don't know how it happened, as I had always thought he was 'the one' but I guess that proves that being so young means you really are quite naive.

I broke up with him briefly when this guy who I had been interested in before my boyfriend began texting me. He is a bit of slime ball, only really after sex - but then again, I suppose I was too as I felt this really raw lust for him, as if I just had to get it out of my system. I slept with him twice, and it felt good at the time but also really made me assess how I felt about my (now) ex. I couldn't really love him if I had so quickly had a fling with someone else! So I don't regret what I did as it taught me a real life lesson - I just wish it was with someone a bit nicer..

Despite the absolute mess of the summer- spurred somewhat by my apprehension of us both going to university - my boyfriend and I tried to give it another go. This was bad of me as my heart wasn't really in it, it was just easier as he was so upset and I felt so terrible. At uni however, I met someone and within a month I had broken up with my boyfriend and begun a relationship with this new guy who is also completely wonderful. I guess it would make me more of a **** if this new guy was just another fling, but he really isn't. I feel very strongly for him, more than I ever did with my first boyfriend, and I think that is because we were just friends to begin with, and I hoped that a 'spark' would develop. It did; but I have never felt like this with anyone before.

I am 18, so that's means in the space of two years I have slept with 3 different men and I have rushed straight into another serious relationship. Today, in front of my whole family, my little brother openly called me 'a ****' and that my new boyfriend sounded like 'a right prick' (he is hurt as he really liked my ex). It made me feel like **** to know what my family think of me, and I would just like some outside opinon.

I know I have seriously hurt my ex-boyfriend and I look like such an evil person but you must understand that I stopped feeling romantically for him a long time before I had the courage to break up with him. I have just caused such a mess!

What do you think? (And, if you did, thanks for reading that bloody essay...)

x
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I have a situation
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No not at all, quite the opposite seeing as you got back with your bf solely for his benefit. Having sex three times is fine at 18, in fact it's probably less than average these days.
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TruetoMyself
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I wouldnt say your a slut.....A **** would be a better assessment ;-)
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TruetoMyself
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Lol Only Joking...... I wouldnt say you were and your little s**t of a brother has come to this conclusion without havingall the facts. Nail him one from me...for not respecting his elders. Little C***
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Phreaktwo
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'Slut or slattern is a pejorative term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally applied to women and is an insult or offensive term of disparagement, meaning "dirty or slovenly'

No. You are a normal girl. Take no notice of children, they know nothing.
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Romisa_lovesA7X
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Not at all. Little kids say stuff, he may not even fully understand the denotation of the word and is just messing with you.
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Pink Bullets
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that's means in the space of two years I have slept with 3 different men
:rofl:

Three men in a DAY might be called slutty (if you subscribe to that concept). Nobody would bat an eyelid at someone having sex with three people in two years. Come on... that's one person every eight months.
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emdo
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(Original post by Pink Bullets)
:rofl:

Three men in a DAY might be called slutty (if you subscribe to that concept). Nobody would bat an eyelid at someone having sex with three people in two years. Come on... that's one person every eight months.


OP - three men in two years is not slutty, like others have said, don't listen to your brother, most likely he's hurt and just acting up about it.
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umarrehman187
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tbh some people on here will say **** to make you feel better but bottom line is that is a slutty act so i guess u r kinda a slut
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imperial maniac
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TL;DR

*****es be crazy.

But no, you're not a slut, you're just a woman. And women are mad.



I say this, but tbh I think the getting with a guy purely for sex was slutty, especially since you just discarded your old boyfriend just like that.

But getting with the new guy you like isn't slutty.
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*Rouge*
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No, not at all.
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NutterFrutter
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Yes, now lets see tits.
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FlamingIceCube
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#13
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A girl I know had sex with 20 different men in one month last summer. Now that is a ****, not you deary
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Ciaran88
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(Original post by agm23)
I am 18, so that's means in the space of two years I have slept with 3 different men
If you think that's slutty you reallllly need to take a look around you :lol:
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Anonymous #1
#15
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I'm 21, lost my V at 18 and I've slept with 8 guys and I don't see myself as a slut.
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Anonymous #2
#16
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(anon incase ex see's please)
I think breaking up with your bf then quickly sleeping with someone else is not really slutty, but it is REALLY harsh on your ex. The same thing happened to me recently and I literally felt like the worst I have ever felt for about 2 months straight, every single day. My gf dumped me even though I was perfect to her and start sleeping with another a guy I know a few weeks later.

So honestly, it's not slutty of you! It's just life. It's ****ing harsh (for people like me and your ex), but that's part of life and you eventually get over it (I'm starting to feel much better).

What makes you REALLY bad though is that you got back together with him after you broke up with him, even though your heart wasn't fully in it. He probably feels even worst now after being dumped a second time and finding out your sleeping with another guy for a second time. You can't just lead people on like that - it was very selfish of you to go out with him a second time and not to just immediately make it clear you never wanted a romantic relationship with him again. You have to give him closure, be firm and strong and allow him to start healing, or he will just feel like **** forever.

So by the sounds of it your not a slut, but you are a '*****'. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but it's true. I feel really bad for your ex
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allspunout
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(Original post by agm23)
Please be honest with me - this has been getting me down for a while now, to the point where I absolutely can't stand myself.

I had a boyfriend for 2 and half years, the only boy I had ever slept with or did anything sexually with. Unfortunately, I stopped feeling the same romantically and began to see him more as an extremely close friend (we started out as best friends so there was no real 'lust' to begin with). Sex felt so wrong. I began to hate the fact that I didn't enjoy being intimate with him, particiularly as he is such a wonderful, generous and caring boyfriend (who I simply didn't deserve!) - I just fell out of love. I don't know how it happened, as I had always thought he was 'the one' but I guess that proves that being so young means you really are quite naive.

I broke up with him briefly when this guy who I had been interested in before my boyfriend began texting me. He is a bit of slime ball, only really after sex - but then again, I suppose I was too as I felt this really raw lust for him, as if I just had to get it out of my system. I slept with him twice, and it felt good at the time but also really made me assess how I felt about my (now) ex. I couldn't really love him if I had so quickly had a fling with someone else! So I don't regret what I did as it taught me a real life lesson - I just wish it was with someone a bit nicer..

Despite the absolute mess of the summer- spurred somewhat by my apprehension of us both going to university - my boyfriend and I tried to give it another go. This was bad of me as my heart wasn't really in it, it was just easier as he was so upset and I felt so terrible. At uni however, I met someone and within a month I had broken up with my boyfriend and begun a relationship with this new guy who is also completely wonderful. I guess it would make me more of a **** if this new guy was just another fling, but he really isn't. I feel very strongly for him, more than I ever did with my first boyfriend, and I think that is because we were just friends to begin with, and I hoped that a 'spark' would develop. It did; but I have never felt like this with anyone before.

I am 18, so that's means in the space of two years I have slept with 3 different men and I have rushed straight into another serious relationship. Today, in front of my whole family, my little brother openly called me 'a ****' and that my new boyfriend sounded like 'a right prick' (he is hurt as he really liked my ex). It made me feel like **** to know what my family think of me, and I would just like some outside opinon.

I know I have seriously hurt my ex-boyfriend and I look like such an evil person but you must understand that I stopped feeling romantically for him a long time before I had the courage to break up with him. I have just caused such a mess!

What do you think? (And, if you did, thanks for reading that bloody essay...)

x
No I don't think you're a slut. If anything, you were honest to yourself that you didn't have feelings for him, and ended it- getting the courage together is always difficult, but the worst thing you could have done would be to drag it out for months or years more. You have also been honest about your reasons for getting back together before separating again. You can't control who you get feelings for, but at least you never cheated on your boyfriend. You are obviously upset by the situation which to me shows that you at least care and have good intentions Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.
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agm23
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
(anon incase ex see's please)
I think breaking up with your bf then quickly sleeping with someone else is not really slutty, but it is REALLY harsh on your ex. The same thing happened to me recently and I literally felt like the worst I have ever felt for about 2 months straight, every single day. My gf dumped me even though I was perfect to her and start sleeping with another a guy I know a few weeks later.

So honestly, it's not slutty of you! It's just life. It's ****ing harsh (for people like me and your ex), but that's part of life and you eventually get over it (I'm starting to feel much better).

What makes you REALLY bad though is that you got back together with him after you broke up with him, even though your heart wasn't fully in it. He probably feels even worst now after being dumped a second time and finding out your sleeping with another guy for a second time. You can't just lead people on like that - it was very selfish of you to go out with him a second time and not to just immediately make it clear you never wanted a romantic relationship with him again. You have to give him closure, be firm and strong and allow him to start healing, or he will just feel like **** forever.

So by the sounds of it your not a slut, but you are a '*****'. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but it's true. I feel really bad for your ex
I totally understand and I am so sorry that someone has doent he same thing to you. You're right - I am a complete and total *****; but I know it's something I will NEVER do again. You make mistakes in life, and I consider this my biggest, but I'm also glad I did it in a weird kind of way. My ex is honestly an amazing person and I only wish for him to find someone he deserves and be happy. I hope you are happy too.
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danielfigfoz
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(Original post by agm23)
I totally understand and I am so sorry that someone has doent he same thing to you. You're right - I am a complete and total *****; but I know it's something I will NEVER do again. You make mistakes in life, and I consider this my biggest, but I'm also glad I did it in a weird kind of way. My ex is honestly an amazing person and I only wish for him to find someone he deserves and be happy. I hope you are happy too.
No, you are not. We all have done things we regret, but thats just life, and you say that you don't regret it. You obviously have a conscience and if what you did was so awful you would feel just as awful.

You didn't go around cheating on your boyfriend or anything.
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Pride
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 21, lost my V at 18 and I've slept with 8 guys and I don't see myself as a slut.
well of course you wouldn't see yourself as a slut, that proves absolutely nothing...
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