I'll just expalin whats going on, my real problem is underneath.
Okay I have a problem, I like a guy but it's really hard to talk to him...
This all started from school, I have liked a guy since I was in yr 10 (in school) I am in college now and 3 years now in total for how long I have liked him.
He did not come to college in the first year. That year sucked for me I missed him so much. He came back in my second yr I was so happy.
I have never ever talked to him. I am so dam shy it's annoying. There was times were I?d see him all the time at school, but now I am at college that rarely ever happens now I wish I was in some of his lessons now.
Now the problem is the next time I see him at college I really just what to actually just do it and start to talk to him. It's like there is this barrier that appears between us whenever I see him. I know what to do and everything. I just need to do it. All I need to say is "Hi" with a Smile and that will be okay. I know what will give him the courage to make him also talk to me. I knew in school many times that he has tried to talk to me. I sometimes ignored it, but it was not meant to be like that I really wanted to talk to him also. I know that?s why he's stopped trying to talk to me, because he thought I was not interested. But I am.
So maybe I might be able to talk to him now. That's the most thing I want right now. My feelings can come out later, I need to just talk to him and that would mean that I face my fear of talking to guys that I really like him.
Another one of my major problems is that I contently think about him 24/7 it's like he's always there in my mind. But luckily I have cut this down a whole lot due to talking to someone about how I feel. I always used to think... He does sometimes appear back in my mind whenever I get the feeling of missing him. But I know it can't be that because I have never really known him as a person. But yeah I really want this to change so that I do know him as a person.
He still notices me still, that really very sweet.
I know I have missed out on so many chances that sometimes I feel like crap I should have said hi. He might have wanted me to. It's not like he's not made the effort to talk to me, he has but sometimes I just did not listen to it at school. So maybe he might feel like I should go up to talk to him. He knows I like him. I think he may still have feelings for me, but I won't know until I talk to him.
Now at college I feel that I really should just do it. I know what to say it's all in my head. The problem is actually talking to him.
My problem is that I have liked him for so long and I just can't get over him. Until I talk to him and find out if he still feels the same.
I care so much about him because, we still have some sort of connection between each other, I still get that feeling of butterflies in my tummy.
But now I have some more trouble I saw him yesterday (Tuesday) when I was going to another lesson. He was with a friend and some girl. So I don't even know if that?s his girlfriend or not? I am not sure if they were holding hands but she was standing close to his arm. But I am still not sure if she is. All I could see was her hair. He did notice me and sort of look at me while he was talking to his friend he was also smiling, he had his head half turned from his friend and half looking at me and smiling. I don?t know what that means.
I did not get to see him for a month, yesterday was the first time of this year.
But I still really want to talk to him so bad. Not with the idea of going out, but along the lines of just understanding him and him to understand me, I just want to clear the air between us. I really care about him, I know what he did like me in school, I just want to find out what if he still likes me or not. Then I will or might be able to move on. But I want to be friends with him. Do you think I have some sort of advantage because I have known him for a long time, but never really talked to him?
What do you think I should do? If anyone can help me i will be very grateful.
Anywho this my problem, i keep getting prank calls from someone, this has been happing for about 6 months now, But my real concern is, they left a message on my answer machine. I heard some girl sounded like she was being f***** and someone saying to them "Do you remember...." followed by my name and now i am so upest i think it might be this guy i like. I was thinking when or if they call back, Should i try and find out whats going on? What do you think i should do?
Right now i am really upset, i am crying.
sorry for such a long post.