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a situation...
yeh so anyway...basically after uni exams a group of us went away for the weekend to a foreign city, where is not particularly important, not the UK is the main point...
on the saturday we went out in said city, basically certain things happened that night that led me to meeting this amazing girl (i'm a strong believer in fate, and basically not to go into any detail but things just seemed to happen in certain ways that well, it sounds really lame but, led me to her :-/)
...the sort of person you meet for the first time and they have an instant 'wow' impression on you...not just physically but i dunno, they have some sort of enigma, drawing you in to engage them... we ended up spending the night together and then we met up and spent most of the monday together too.
Sad to say i was gutted to be leaving, i've thought about her in almost every spare moment i have since i've been back (3 weeks or so)...i've got her number and msn...we've chatted quite a lot since then, but obviously it's not the same as being there...
It's really getting me down quite a bit, i would never ever consider myself to be depressed but i've certainly not been as happy since...it just gets me thinking, if circumstances were different (ie i lived there/she here) i'd have a girlfriend and we'd be together...
It's a really horrible position to be in...do i just simply try and forget her and move on...or well i dunno...i can't feasibly see anyway it could work, i think i'm just clinging on to a fantasy, i'm just in denial that i know inevitably i'll probably not see her again for a long time, if ever...(i can't afford to go galivanting off to xxxx and she can't afford to come here...although she is planning on coming here over the summer for quite some time)
hmm, it was good to write some of that down in some form, might not make much sense but it helped! seems a shame to delete all of it so i'm gonna post it...sorry if you've just read this for no actual reason!
on the saturday we went out in said city, basically certain things happened that night that led me to meeting this amazing girl (i'm a strong believer in fate, and basically not to go into any detail but things just seemed to happen in certain ways that well, it sounds really lame but, led me to her :-/)
...the sort of person you meet for the first time and they have an instant 'wow' impression on you...not just physically but i dunno, they have some sort of enigma, drawing you in to engage them... we ended up spending the night together and then we met up and spent most of the monday together too.
Sad to say i was gutted to be leaving, i've thought about her in almost every spare moment i have since i've been back (3 weeks or so)...i've got her number and msn...we've chatted quite a lot since then, but obviously it's not the same as being there...
It's really getting me down quite a bit, i would never ever consider myself to be depressed but i've certainly not been as happy since...it just gets me thinking, if circumstances were different (ie i lived there/she here) i'd have a girlfriend and we'd be together...
It's a really horrible position to be in...do i just simply try and forget her and move on...or well i dunno...i can't feasibly see anyway it could work, i think i'm just clinging on to a fantasy, i'm just in denial that i know inevitably i'll probably not see her again for a long time, if ever...(i can't afford to go galivanting off to xxxx and she can't afford to come here...although she is planning on coming here over the summer for quite some time)
hmm, it was good to write some of that down in some form, might not make much sense but it helped! seems a shame to delete all of it so i'm gonna post it...sorry if you've just read this for no actual reason!
yes i'm sure it will...but for the here and now i dunno...guess i just need to work it out for myself in time
Keep in contact with her, things may eventually fizzle out or your feelings for her may stay exactly exactly the same or even strengthen. You never know.
I know you live in different countries but what is the distance like between you two? Is it so great that you would only get to see each other two or three times a year or would you be able to see each other maybe once a month/once every couple of months?
Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult sometimes but not impossible. I'm in one myself at the moment (we both live in the UK but there is a fair bit of distance between us) and we actually split up for a short while because my boyfriend felt it was too hard not being able to see me often enough. We're back together now because he realised that the pain of not being together is much worse than the pain of missing each other.
If you think that she may have the same feelings as you then have a proper chat to her about the situation. There are ways around a difficult situation like this and you'll never know if it could work or not unless you try. You believe in fate after all so this could be the real thing and you don't want to pass up on an opportunity like this.
I'm sorry I can't really help you but I wish you all the best. Good luck
I know you live in different countries but what is the distance like between you two? Is it so great that you would only get to see each other two or three times a year or would you be able to see each other maybe once a month/once every couple of months?
Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult sometimes but not impossible. I'm in one myself at the moment (we both live in the UK but there is a fair bit of distance between us) and we actually split up for a short while because my boyfriend felt it was too hard not being able to see me often enough. We're back together now because he realised that the pain of not being together is much worse than the pain of missing each other.
If you think that she may have the same feelings as you then have a proper chat to her about the situation. There are ways around a difficult situation like this and you'll never know if it could work or not unless you try. You believe in fate after all so this could be the real thing and you don't want to pass up on an opportunity like this.
I'm sorry I can't really help you but I wish you all the best. Good luck
Just to throw this into the mix, if you were to think about cheap air flights (if possible) and the actual time it would take to travel there, would it really be all that long? Just a thought, dunno if I'm wrong. Just off on a bit of tangent..was thinking about how to go home from uni takes me 5 1/2hrs by train/ 8+ by coach (study Bham, Cornwall's home) so maybe the time wouldnt be all that different to maintaining long distance rel in UK..Good luck xx
(considering that flights can take just a couple of hrs...guess it dpends how close u are to airport to begin with)
(considering that flights can take just a couple of hrs...guess it dpends how close u are to airport to begin with)
johnnysgirl
Just to throw this into the mix, if you were to think about cheap air flights (if possible) and the actual time it would take to travel there, would it really be all that long? Just a thought, dunno if I'm wrong. Just off on a bit of tangent..was thinking about how to go home from uni takes me 5 1/2hrs by train/ 8+ by coach (study Bham, Cornwall's home) so maybe the time wouldnt be all that different to maintaining long distance rel in UK..Good luck xx
i have a friend in bath who met a polish girl (at one of my house parties) who went back to poland a few weeks later. they are still dating and ge flies to warsaaw every 2 weeks to see her! costs a bit (about 150 quid a pop) but he's loving it.
that said he earns a fortune - gets all his lving expenses paid for by his ompany so doesn't have to pay for rent, food, utility bills - nothing!
johnnysgirl
Just to throw this into the mix, if you were to think about cheap air flights (if possible) and the actual time it would take to travel there, would it really be all that long? Just a thought, dunno if I'm wrong. Just off on a bit of tangent..was thinking about how to go home from uni takes me 5 1/2hrs by train/ 8+ by coach (study Bham, Cornwall's home) so maybe the time wouldnt be all that different to maintaining long distance rel in UK..Good luck xx
(considering that flights can take just a couple of hrs...guess it dpends how close u are to airport to begin with)
(considering that flights can take just a couple of hrs...guess it dpends how close u are to airport to begin with)
gahhhhh..but think of the pollution....the environment people the enviroment...gallons of toxic exhaust fumes
your global foodprint would get 5 times bigger
Cheers for the replies...
yeh i never really thought of it like that...flights are pretty cheap (ie £50 return or much less if you book in advance) and it only takes an hour and a half to get there (not including the fannying around at the airport) and it takes like 2 hours to get home on the train!
hmm something to consider i think...thanks!
yeh i never really thought of it like that...flights are pretty cheap (ie £50 return or much less if you book in advance) and it only takes an hour and a half to get there (not including the fannying around at the airport) and it takes like 2 hours to get home on the train!
hmm something to consider i think...thanks!
Markus
What country was it you went to mate?
hehe...
i'm not willing to reveal that i'm afraid! maybe a PM...
I have a very strong irrational fear of being recognised on here, which i know is both quite absurd and highly unlikely...plus i don't actually ever post anything about myself personally embarrassing or otherwise to give justification to these fears...
...yeh it is pathetic i know...Leftism
hehe...
i'm not willing to reveal that i'm afraid! maybe a PM...
I have a very strong irrational fear of being recognised on here, which i know is both quite absurd and highly unlikely...plus i don't actually ever post anything about myself personally embarrassing or otherwise to give justification to these fears... ...yeh it is pathetic i know...
i'm not willing to reveal that i'm afraid! maybe a PM...
I have a very strong irrational fear of being recognised on here, which i know is both quite absurd and highly unlikely...plus i don't actually ever post anything about myself personally embarrassing or otherwise to give justification to these fears...
...yeh it is pathetic i know...No worries bud.
I personally know what it feels like to feel so distant from someone you really like, whether its in a foreign country or not, its the feeling of being distant that is the worst of the worst things to feel in a situation like this.
I think, personally, you should keep in contact, see her if she visits, and if things dont work out, they dont work out, let the wind decide where it will take you.
thanks!
Yeh i'm gonna definitely keep in touch...a friend of mine said something very similar...absense makes the heart grow fonder...or somesuch saying...i'll let you know how it goes...
Yeh i'm gonna definitely keep in touch...a friend of mine said something very similar...absense makes the heart grow fonder...or somesuch saying...i'll let you know how it goes...
I've made good friends with foreign people (both male and female) on a number of occassions. I empathise completely with that get home and chat for the first time feeling; you realise, no matter how much you speak online, it's just not going to be the same.
My advice, if you can't meet up as often as you'd like, is stay friends, talk when you can, but don't pin anything on the two of you being an item. Sort of put it at the back of your mind, and let it just settle down to tow people who talk (very hard, but over time, without seeing her, it tends to go that way anyway). Then, in the summer, when she comes over, you two can spend that time doing everything you enjoyed before.
It's a pretty straightforward, and seemingly lame plan, but basicially involves waiting it out, staying close, but not getting too worked up by trying the stress of a long distance official relationship.
Good luck with it whatever you do.
My advice, if you can't meet up as often as you'd like, is stay friends, talk when you can, but don't pin anything on the two of you being an item. Sort of put it at the back of your mind, and let it just settle down to tow people who talk (very hard, but over time, without seeing her, it tends to go that way anyway). Then, in the summer, when she comes over, you two can spend that time doing everything you enjoyed before.
It's a pretty straightforward, and seemingly lame plan, but basicially involves waiting it out, staying close, but not getting too worked up by trying the stress of a long distance official relationship.
Good luck with it whatever you do.
hey, move on ! theres plenty more fish in the sea!
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