The Student Room Group

Girl Trouble!

Hi guys i just wanted to know your opinions on this and what i should do-

There's this girl who i met recently, ended up swapping numbers and have been texting each other quite a bit. In the last couple of days she's made it pretty clear in her texts that she fancies me and so on. Trouble is i don't feel the same and I just want to be friends with her. I know it was stupid but I did flirt back a little bit at the start just for fun but now i've stopped. I was hoping she'd get the message but obviously hasn't! I don't know what to do or say to her as i don't want to hurt her feelings....anyone help?:frown:
Reply 1
Hmmm difficult one, as because you flirted originally with her she's going to presume you like her too:frown: .

Maybe, you could try working in the fact you like someone else into the conversation and hope that she realises that you don't like her, as if you did you wouldn't be telling her about another girl. Even better what about a text saying that "I've never had a female friend like you before, where we can get on so well just as mates and not have alterior motives blah blah" That way it will look at least like a partial compliment but she'll still get the hint and back off:wink: .
Hmm, difficult situation. I used to sort of see a guy who did what you've done.. flirted then didn't then didn't want to see me in that way. Lets get one thing straight - if she really likes you then she will get hurt, thats just going to happen whether you like it or not I'm afraid. If shes just kind of into you slightly then its probably likely she'll be over it in a week. Sounds to me like shes only in the first few stages of liking you - its pretty easy to kill it at this point by just stopping the flirting and acting like how you would around your friends. However, this can frustrate a girl (frustrated the hell outta me!) so choose option 1 or just tell her straight that shes a great friend - or try to slip it into conversation that your glad that you guys are friends. That will be a clear message. I don't know what to suggest really as if she does really like you then she will be hurt :frown: Good luck x
Ok, if she really likes you its a catch-22 situation, no way out without some damage somehow. Well, if whatever happens you will have to act, bBy flirting back you set the ball rolling, so to stop the ball, you need to slow it down, the important thing to remember is that if your too sudden about things someone will get hurt, you must be subtle to start with, build it up.
Reply 4
That's exactly what I'm trying to do...for example whenever she compliments me I just keep quiet and try and change the subject. I'm hoping that if I ignore her attempts to take things furthur, she'll understand. I know she's gonna get hurt one way or the other but the best thing is damage limitation.
If she likes you a lot then she probably wont give up on her attempts for quite a while. sorry dude.
Reply 6
You could just be really blunt and tell her you're not interested? Depends on how bad her feelings for you are really. If its really blatant in-your-face "I like you" then perhaps tell her now? If not, maybe she's just a flirt?
Make with her, then make off without her.

Back o' the net.
Reply 8
Pandy
You could just be really blunt and tell her you're not interested? Depends on how bad her feelings for you are really. If its really blatant in-your-face "I like you" then perhaps tell her now? If not, maybe she's just a flirt?


I wish I could be blunt but I would hurt her feelings too much which I don't want to do. I still want to be friends with her and thats the problem. She's made it really obvious in texts that she likes me "a lot".....as close as you without actually saying it! She's also getting really obsessive- keeps sitting next to me in every class and sending me texts every night. Everyone assumes there's something going on, which I think, is what she wants everyone to think.
Reply 9
Surely it's obvious?!
Ask her for relationship advice...about another girl who you have a huge crush on etc.
Not too obvious - slipping in the 'friends' thing seems a little too blunt, but still VERY clear if you a) make it VERY obvious that the girl is not her 2) it's someone she knows/someone who looks nothing like her, and is nothing like her personality wise
okay..but what *katie* suggested would only work,imo,if he really has a crush on somebody else..because if the girl who likes you finds out that you already lied to her about that,you'e prob. best off just telling her the truth..of course it wont be what she wants to hear..but come on,at least you'll be honest to her
Reply 11
i dont see how this is such a big problem. 1)just call her and talk to her. none of this cutesy texting going on. have an honest conversation 2) say you are so kind/smart/etc im so lucky to have a friend like you.
Reply 12
My friend fancied a guy who was in our class at school, he made it clear he wasn't interested on many occasions but, two years later she still follows him around like a lost puppy.

I think you have to break it to her now or it will just get more difficult. Make her aware that you are just friends without telling her you "don't like her in that way" that comment although very popular with you boys just makes girls feel paranoid and insecure. The idea of asking advice about another girl seems the best option to me, that way you aren't rejecting her but she still realises that you are just friends.

Good luck.