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My VERY strict dad-plz read
Right this min, I actually HATE my dad. I'm 17 and a half and he wnt let me go 2 pubs/clubs. I know, im underage, but by 6 months...all my friends (who are younger than me, as im a september baby) have been goin 2 those kinds of places since quite a while ago. But dnt get me wrong, my friends are not chavs or skivvys, they r just normal teenagers like myself! It's the norm from where i'm from, (I'm from London).
He sed im not going coz im underage; it really hasn't registered that im 18 in 6months! I know its normal for all dads to treat their daughters like little 'princesses' but he's so unfair. It doesnt help i'm an only child. Having sed that, he lets me go to all the parties i wnt, and he knows i drink coz i've come home wasted before, but there is no real logic to him. I think he perceives pubs as places where old pervy men go, certainly not for young girls, but if he went down my local on a wed kareoke night, its all teenage boys and girls socialising.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not a binge drinker, it has more do to with the soical aspect; i think we are all familiar with that feeling of being left out wen all ur friends go sumwer, but u dont/cant. Its just such a shame i cnt go out this fri to celebrate one of my best friend's 17th.
Ive honestly done all the bargaining, reasoning and compromises possible-eg 'just this once?' kinda thing to get him to get used to the idea.
It's times like these I remind myself why i MUST live away for uni, to gain independence and to get my dad 2 acknowledge me as a young adult.
Sorry this has been a bit rambling, just needed a vent.
Any ideas as to how I could get round my dad?
Thanks x
He sed im not going coz im underage; it really hasn't registered that im 18 in 6months! I know its normal for all dads to treat their daughters like little 'princesses' but he's so unfair. It doesnt help i'm an only child. Having sed that, he lets me go to all the parties i wnt, and he knows i drink coz i've come home wasted before, but there is no real logic to him. I think he perceives pubs as places where old pervy men go, certainly not for young girls, but if he went down my local on a wed kareoke night, its all teenage boys and girls socialising.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not a binge drinker, it has more do to with the soical aspect; i think we are all familiar with that feeling of being left out wen all ur friends go sumwer, but u dont/cant. Its just such a shame i cnt go out this fri to celebrate one of my best friend's 17th.
Ive honestly done all the bargaining, reasoning and compromises possible-eg 'just this once?' kinda thing to get him to get used to the idea.
It's times like these I remind myself why i MUST live away for uni, to gain independence and to get my dad 2 acknowledge me as a young adult.
Sorry this has been a bit rambling, just needed a vent.
Any ideas as to how I could get round my dad?
Thanks x
Scroll to see replies
get ur mom to talk to him about it.
Reply 2
I dont want to be mean but your dad doesn't sound strict to me, it seems like he just looking after you and the fact he wont let you go to pubs doesn't seem unreasonable to me. I think you're over reacting a bit and the fact you say you wish that your parents would split up shows that you are being a bit selfish. My parents have split up its not something any sane person would wish to happen
Reply 3
There's always fibbing?...Tell him your friend has changed his/her mind about the party because you couldnt come so they're having it at home now, can you go?...
Reply 5
your 17... underage..... hes not being strict at all!
if its only 6 months away then whats the rush???
so what if your friends go
if its only 6 months away then whats the rush???
so what if your friends go
Reply 6
sharene
I dont want to be mean but your dad doesn't sound strict to me, it seems like he just looking after and the fact he wont let you go to pubs doesn't seem unresonable to me. I think you're over reacting a bit and the fact you say you wish that your parents would split up shows that you are being a bit selfish. My parents have split up its not something any sane person would wish to happen
Reply 8
Mangaroo
bah, he actually wanted to ditto me.
if so, then nah, sharene's reply is nicer
Reply 9
I didn't bother telling my parents that I was going pubbing/clubbing. They worked it out eventually but I was pretty much eighteen by then anyway.
Reply 10
I'm sorry but seriously 17 and a half is not exactly young to want to go out and have a good time with friends. Surely people can understand where this girl is coming from. You say "So what if friends go" - well it's probably leaving her very left out from the friendship groups. It is not exactly unusual for teenagers to go underage drinking, I mean come on I'm sure 99% of people on this board have done it at some point or another.
Anywho, your dad... it depends how far you can push your luck with him really. Personally I don't think a few white lies would hurt now and again.
Anywho, your dad... it depends how far you can push your luck with him really. Personally I don't think a few white lies would hurt now and again.
Reply 11
sharene
I dont want to be mean but your dad doesn't sound strict to me, it seems like he just looking after and the fact he wont let you go to pubs doesn't seem unresonable to me. I think you're over reacting a bit and the fact you say you wish that your parents would split up shows that you are being a bit selfish. My parents have split up its not something any sane person would wish to happen
He is strict, comparatively.
I stressed the fact i dnt want them to split up, its just from my point of view its feels that way.
I guess my main point is that even wen i am 18, he will still be the same.
Thanks for ur support hitmanuk2k- i dnt think anyone will really understand where im coming from unless they are also an only child.
yes, I have lied b4 abt going, but guess wat, always been found out. I like having an open relationship with my parents, not one full of deceit, but if thats the only way...
Reply 12
He cant stop you when you're eighteen.
Sides cant you just make sure you clear things like that with ur mum not ur dad? Just make sure ur mums in the night you go out and tell her quietly...or call it 'a party'
Sides cant you just make sure you clear things like that with ur mum not ur dad? Just make sure ur mums in the night you go out and tell her quietly...or call it 'a party'
Reply 14
hitmanuk2k
Personally I don't think a few white lies would hurt now and again.
Go for it. Most people do.
sexybrowneyes88
he knows i drink coz i've come home wasted before
Ahem.
Show your dad that you can act responsibly and sensibly, and I'm sure he will change his mind.
When I first started going out properly pubbing and clubbing when i was about 17 and a half, I always told my parents who I was going with, how late I was going to be out, how I was getting home, who's house I was going to stay at afterwards. I know it sounds silly but by doing that and keeping to my word it made them see that I was a responsible teenager and now they have very few worries when I go out.
I don't think your dad is being unreasonable - I can see that you're frustrated, but imho complaining about it and getting angry isn't the right way to go about it.
Reply 16
sexybrowneyes88
Right this min, I actually HATE my dad. I'm 17 and a half and he wnt let me go 2 pubs/clubs. I know, im underage, but by 6 months...all my friends (who are younger than me, as im a september baby) have been goin 2 those kinds of places since quite a while ago. But dnt get me wrong, my friends are not chavs or skivvys, they r just normal teenagers like myself! It's the norm from where i'm from, (I'm from London).
He sed im not going coz im underage; it really hasn't registered that im 18 in 6months! I know its normal for all dads to treat their daughters like little 'princesses' but he's so unfair. It doesnt help i'm an only child. Having sed that, he lets me go to all the parties i wnt, and he knows i drink coz i've come home wasted before, but there is no real logic to him. I think he perceives pubs as places where old pervy men go, certainly not for young girls, but if he went down my local on a wed kareoke night, its all teenage boys and girls socialising.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not a binge drinker, it has more do to with the soical aspect; i think we are all familiar with that feeling of being left out wen all ur friends go sumwer, but u dont/cant. Its just such a shame i cnt go out this fri to celebrate one of my best friend's 17th.
This sounds awful, but i get so frustrated sometimes i wish my parents wud split up, just so i cud get the freedom ive always longed for (my mums liberal). Obviously if this were to happen, i wud be devastated, but its an example of my frustration. Ive honestly done all the bargaining, reasoning and compromises possible-eg 'just this once?' kinda thing to get him to get used to the idea.
It's times like these I remind myself why i MUST live away for uni, to gain independence and to get my dad 2 acknowledge me as a young adult.
Sorry this has been a bit rambling, just needed a vent.
Any ideas as to how I could get round my dad?
Thanks x
He sed im not going coz im underage; it really hasn't registered that im 18 in 6months! I know its normal for all dads to treat their daughters like little 'princesses' but he's so unfair. It doesnt help i'm an only child. Having sed that, he lets me go to all the parties i wnt, and he knows i drink coz i've come home wasted before, but there is no real logic to him. I think he perceives pubs as places where old pervy men go, certainly not for young girls, but if he went down my local on a wed kareoke night, its all teenage boys and girls socialising.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not a binge drinker, it has more do to with the soical aspect; i think we are all familiar with that feeling of being left out wen all ur friends go sumwer, but u dont/cant. Its just such a shame i cnt go out this fri to celebrate one of my best friend's 17th.
This sounds awful, but i get so frustrated sometimes i wish my parents wud split up, just so i cud get the freedom ive always longed for (my mums liberal). Obviously if this were to happen, i wud be devastated, but its an example of my frustration. Ive honestly done all the bargaining, reasoning and compromises possible-eg 'just this once?' kinda thing to get him to get used to the idea.
It's times like these I remind myself why i MUST live away for uni, to gain independence and to get my dad 2 acknowledge me as a young adult.
Sorry this has been a bit rambling, just needed a vent.
Any ideas as to how I could get round my dad?
Thanks x
Blimey, how selfish are you? I can't believe you actually want your parents to split up just so that you have the freedom to go down the pub... I bet there are a lot of people reading that who would want to give you a good slap. In a few months you'll be old enough to live in the pub if you want to, but until then be grateful that you have caring parents and find some other way to have fun.
Reply 17
spoon1
Ahem.
Show your dad that you can act responsibly and sensibly, and I'm sure he will change his mind.
When I first started going out properly pubbing and clubbing when i was about 17 and a half, I always told my parents who I was going with, how late I was going to be out, how I was getting home, who's house I was going to stay at afterwards. I know it sounds silly but by doing that and keeping to my word it made them see that I was a responsible teenager and now they have very few worries when I go out.
I don't think your dad is being unreasonable - I can see that you're frustrated, but imho complaining about it and getting angry isn't the right way to go about it.
Show your dad that you can act responsibly and sensibly, and I'm sure he will change his mind.
When I first started going out properly pubbing and clubbing when i was about 17 and a half, I always told my parents who I was going with, how late I was going to be out, how I was getting home, who's house I was going to stay at afterwards. I know it sounds silly but by doing that and keeping to my word it made them see that I was a responsible teenager and now they have very few worries when I go out.
I don't think your dad is being unreasonable - I can see that you're frustrated, but imho complaining about it and getting angry isn't the right way to go about it.
I've tried that, its just a solid 'no' every time. I need him to at least let me go out once to prove that, and until that happens, i cant truly prove anything to him.
Reply 18
I'm from London too so I sympathise with how hard it can be for you to stay in as it really is the norm here. Also if you have no experience of night life before going to university and having all the freedom u want you're going to be in for a shock at uni. My friends have found that it's often the people who wre very restricted at home that get completely mashed at uni and go off the rails. I feel very lucky because my parents were v relaxed and they were actually pleased when I started going clubbing etc. since they think its good to be a sociable person. I think this is the right way to be and I'm going to be v relaxed with my children.
Anyway, I had some friends whose parents were fairly strict and they dealt with it in different ways. My best friends parents let her go out but only one night in the weekend and she couldnt be back later than 2. She bent the rules and would often have fights with them and have her allowance cut off. Eventually they gave in and chilled out as she is a good student and she told them it was endangering her friendships.
Another friend began to rebel completely and got a part time job to be able to fund her own nights out. Her relationship with parents was bad for quite a while but I think they accepted that she'd grown up once she got a boyfriend and started earning her own money. To be honest there wasnt much they could do about her going out as they couldnt physically stop her.
Despite what some other people have said, I do think your dad is being unfair to you. This the lifestyle people our age have in London and he should accept that. You should try being reasonable and talking to him about it. If that doesnt work you'll have to start being more insistent. Do you have any older siblings/ like-minded relatives/ family friends? Talk to them about how you feel, make a good case for yourself and I'm sure someone will agree with you. Get them to be supportive of you and mention the issue to your dad. It will be good for him to hear other opinions. I also think you should talk to your mum about the issue since she is liberal and get her to have a word with your dad. He is holding you back socially and that really is wrong! Your dad will have to make allowances, be nice to him and make sure he sees you helping out around the house and doing homework etc. Good Luck, I think you're in the right!
Anyway, I had some friends whose parents were fairly strict and they dealt with it in different ways. My best friends parents let her go out but only one night in the weekend and she couldnt be back later than 2. She bent the rules and would often have fights with them and have her allowance cut off. Eventually they gave in and chilled out as she is a good student and she told them it was endangering her friendships.
Another friend began to rebel completely and got a part time job to be able to fund her own nights out. Her relationship with parents was bad for quite a while but I think they accepted that she'd grown up once she got a boyfriend and started earning her own money. To be honest there wasnt much they could do about her going out as they couldnt physically stop her.
Despite what some other people have said, I do think your dad is being unfair to you. This the lifestyle people our age have in London and he should accept that. You should try being reasonable and talking to him about it. If that doesnt work you'll have to start being more insistent. Do you have any older siblings/ like-minded relatives/ family friends? Talk to them about how you feel, make a good case for yourself and I'm sure someone will agree with you. Get them to be supportive of you and mention the issue to your dad. It will be good for him to hear other opinions. I also think you should talk to your mum about the issue since she is liberal and get her to have a word with your dad. He is holding you back socially and that really is wrong! Your dad will have to make allowances, be nice to him and make sure he sees you helping out around the house and doing homework etc. Good Luck, I think you're in the right!
Reply 19
You may feel like he's giving you a hard time but one of my friends is hardly allowed to go out anywhere, she's not allowed to go to parties and basically has to come in at 8. She's too scared to tell her parents she has a boyfriend because they made her split up with her last one.
You really should count yourself lucky, your dad lets you go to parties and from what you've said its only clubs and pubs your not allowed to go to.
You really should count yourself lucky, your dad lets you go to parties and from what you've said its only clubs and pubs your not allowed to go to.
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