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Cant get over his past...
so i have been with this guy for 4 months and all along i knew he was a popular guy with the ladies but up until about a month ago i didnt realise exactly how much
now before this he had told me about some of his ex's which did make me feel a little uncomfortable (esp. sexual stuff seeing as i was a virgin) but i honestly think he didnt do it on purpose and to be fair i did ask him to tell me some stuff.
anyways about a month ago we were talking and he told me he has slept with 13 different girls ( he is 19, lost his virginity at 13 which again i was shocked about ) i just find this really hard to deal with and i cant stop thinking about it
what can i do to just get over that fact and move on?
now before this he had told me about some of his ex's which did make me feel a little uncomfortable (esp. sexual stuff seeing as i was a virgin) but i honestly think he didnt do it on purpose and to be fair i did ask him to tell me some stuff.
anyways about a month ago we were talking and he told me he has slept with 13 different girls ( he is 19, lost his virginity at 13 which again i was shocked about ) i just find this really hard to deal with and i cant stop thinking about it
what can i do to just get over that fact and move on?
Scroll to see replies
jayne87
so i have been with this guy for 4 months and all along i knew he was a popular guy with the ladies but up until about a month ago i didnt realise exactly how much
now before this he had told me about some of his ex's which did make me feel a little uncomfortable (esp. sexual stuff seeing as i was a virgin) but i honestly think he didnt do it on purpose and to be fair i did ask him to tell me some stuff.
anyways about a month ago we were talking and he told me he has slept with 13 different girls ( he is 19, lost his virginity at 13 which again i was shocked about ) i just find this really hard to deal with and i cant stop thinking about it
what can i do to just get over that fact and move on?
now before this he had told me about some of his ex's which did make me feel a little uncomfortable (esp. sexual stuff seeing as i was a virgin) but i honestly think he didnt do it on purpose and to be fair i did ask him to tell me some stuff.
anyways about a month ago we were talking and he told me he has slept with 13 different girls ( he is 19, lost his virginity at 13 which again i was shocked about ) i just find this really hard to deal with and i cant stop thinking about it
what can i do to just get over that fact and move on?
sounds pretty normal to me, its different for blokes than women.
I think you should move on, you're lucky hes told you the truth.
everyone i know, including me always lie to a girl about how many girls we've slept with to avoid this exact situation...
Reply 2
Why does it bother you so much? If it happened before you it's all in his past.
Is it you think he's got a wandering eye even though he's with you or that you won't match up to his previous conquests?
He's obviously with you for a reason...enjoy it
Is it you think he's got a wandering eye even though he's with you or that you won't match up to his previous conquests?
He's obviously with you for a reason...enjoy it
Reply 5
You should be happy he told you the truth. I hate it when girls start askin about what youve done cos the truth only makes them worry. Last time i told my GF she got all weird as she thought i was to playerish for her, and was onyl after 1 thing
Reply 7
My girlfriends the same with me, which is probably why we have issues when it comes to sex.
Except I didnt have full intercorse till I was 20, Im 25. She was a virgin when we met and I told her within a week of knowing her that I wasnt, she knew exactly how many sexual partners I had before we even started our relationship, and we didnt sleep together for 4 months, but as soon as we did my past suddenly became a problem for her.
Except I didnt have full intercorse till I was 20, Im 25. She was a virgin when we met and I told her within a week of knowing her that I wasnt, she knew exactly how many sexual partners I had before we even started our relationship, and we didnt sleep together for 4 months, but as soon as we did my past suddenly became a problem for her.
Tarts_n_Vicars
Why does it bother you so much? If it happened before you it's all in his past.
Is it you think he's got a wandering eye even though he's with you or that you won't match up to his previous conquests?
He's obviously with you for a reason...enjoy it
Is it you think he's got a wandering eye even though he's with you or that you won't match up to his previous conquests?
He's obviously with you for a reason...enjoy it
thoroughly agree with you ^ : )
If someones faithful whats the problem? number of previous sexual partners wont have any bearing on whether they're faithful or not in a relationship.
to enigma, its all because you dont like to think of someone you're with being with anyone else... thats why i dont think i could ever be with a girl who had kids, because i wouldnt like to see proof of her being with someone else walking around.
Tarts_n_Vicars
that you won't match up to his previous conquests?
to be honest i think that is what it is, i was a virgin and worried about the massive difference in experience, what he would think of me, if i would be good enough, and even if he expected more sexual stuff e.g. very kinky stuff because he is so experienced and is he with me just because of my inexperience so he can teach me ..god that sounds so silly when i say it
i still worry about all this
I had this problem...I asked a stupid question and got a stupid (graphic) answer, I have nobody to blame but myself.
BUT, as my boyfriend reassured me, exes are exes for a reason, and now he's with you, it's not fair to judge him on his past - it's not something he can do anything about.
BUT, as my boyfriend reassured me, exes are exes for a reason, and now he's with you, it's not fair to judge him on his past - it's not something he can do anything about.
Sydney
not fair to judge him on his past - it's not something he can do anything about.
What?
of course it is fair. Some partner's past can make someone's feelings change suddenly without them having any control over it. People's attitudes towards intimacy are not things you can think about logically and classify as fair/unfair.
There's a clear reason why a girl who goes on one-night stands finds it difficult to get a long-term boyfriend. It's something that some people learn the hard way.
But the past is not something that he can go back and change, his previous relationships or 'conquests' did not work out for a reason, so I wouldn't worry about living up to his expectations sexually because he probably doesn't have any, sex is different between different people and if it wasn't good with you then you probably wouldn't still be together 4 months on. You could ask him if there's anything he wants you to do...but then again that could be another stupid question with an answer you'd rather not have known...
Reply 13
OP I'm the same with my boyfriend. When we first started going out it didn't bother me he'd slept with other girls, but gradually it started getting to me. It sounds strange but I can't explain why I felt like it. Looking back now, I think I was starting to get jealous...jealous that he'd been with other girls before me. But then it started getting to the point where I was wondering what they were like in bed compared to me, so I talked with my boyfriend and he assured me that it's only me he wants now. If he wanted them he would have stayed with them and not broken up, which of course makes sense. So maybe try talking to your boyfriend about it...I'm sure he will make you feel better on the situation, and reassure you that you are the one he is with now, not them, so you must be doing something right!!!
And don't worry about him being experienced and you're not...it makes it all the better for you!
And don't worry about him being experienced and you're not...it makes it all the better for you!
jayne87
so i have been with this guy for 4 months and all along i knew he was a popular guy with the ladies but up until about a month ago i didnt realise exactly how much
now before this he had told me about some of his ex's which did make me feel a little uncomfortable (esp. sexual stuff seeing as i was a virgin) but i honestly think he didnt do it on purpose and to be fair i did ask him to tell me some stuff.
anyways about a month ago we were talking and he told me he has slept with 13 different girls ( he is 19, lost his virginity at 13 which again i was shocked about ) i just find this really hard to deal with and i cant stop thinking about it
what can i do to just get over that fact and move on?
now before this he had told me about some of his ex's which did make me feel a little uncomfortable (esp. sexual stuff seeing as i was a virgin) but i honestly think he didnt do it on purpose and to be fair i did ask him to tell me some stuff.
anyways about a month ago we were talking and he told me he has slept with 13 different girls ( he is 19, lost his virginity at 13 which again i was shocked about ) i just find this really hard to deal with and i cant stop thinking about it
what can i do to just get over that fact and move on?
Well no offence, he seems abit of a **** who don't respect your feelings,
why he would want to tell you exactly how many people hes slept with and when he lost it is beyond me.
I dont blame you for thinking about it, perhaps you see these people as something you got to match or do better than.
But end of the day hes chosen you over all of them, so you can't be doing to bad
Just tell him to know his role and shut his mouth next time
jayne
im prob going to get alot of neg rep for this. im 20, catholic and a virgin and plan to remain so until i am married.i kissed a guy with 17 ex's and i felt quite ill to think about it.
i think you cannot rationalise how you feel. if your disgust for his past is greater than your love for him, then leave. if you love and trust him enough to forgive him, then stay. trust your feelings and do whats right for you
im prob going to get alot of neg rep for this. im 20, catholic and a virgin and plan to remain so until i am married.i kissed a guy with 17 ex's and i felt quite ill to think about it.
i think you cannot rationalise how you feel. if your disgust for his past is greater than your love for him, then leave. if you love and trust him enough to forgive him, then stay. trust your feelings and do whats right for you
Reply 17
shinytoy
jayne
im prob going to get alot of neg rep for this. im 20, catholic and a virgin and plan to remain so until i am married.i kissed a guy with 17 ex's and i felt quite ill to think about it.
i think you cannot rationalise how you feel. if your disgust for his past is greater than your love for him, then leave. if you love and trust him enough to forgive him, then stay. trust your feelings and do whats right for you
im prob going to get alot of neg rep for this. im 20, catholic and a virgin and plan to remain so until i am married.i kissed a guy with 17 ex's and i felt quite ill to think about it.
i think you cannot rationalise how you feel. if your disgust for his past is greater than your love for him, then leave. if you love and trust him enough to forgive him, then stay. trust your feelings and do whats right for you
Fair enough, that's how you feel. Many wouldn't see it as something he needs to be "forgiven" for though.
Reply 19
I also don't believe in sex before marriage, and this is what I would say. In my opinion, sex is designed to bind two people together for eternity, and so when somebody does this intimate act with somebody before you, of course you are going to find it hard to deal with. Even worse if there are 13 people before you! You could end up feeling like a notch on a bedpost.
Of course, that's probably not the case at all, but it is still one more example of the problems that sex before marriage can cause. I think you need to think carefully about your relationship and at the very least tell him that you have issues with his sexual past. You need reassurance.
Of course, that's probably not the case at all, but it is still one more example of the problems that sex before marriage can cause. I think you need to think carefully about your relationship and at the very least tell him that you have issues with his sexual past. You need reassurance.
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