The Trans*/Non-Cisgender Thread
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Cool Cat
which degree are you hoping to do?
ahh I have a boyish haircut (kinda grown out version of the style i have in my profile pics) and I bind (bit stretched now though so I have to rely on carefull clothing choices) I'm also a short guy(5foot 3- bane of my life
)
it's funny, I seem to pass in all sorts of bizarre situations (eg to the odd old person or in a dark nightclub) but only once in every while
Jealous of those transguys that can pass most times even without T
Doesn't help that I look 12 ha
ahh I have a boyish haircut (kinda grown out version of the style i have in my profile pics) and I bind (bit stretched now though so I have to rely on carefull clothing choices) I'm also a short guy(5foot 3- bane of my life
)it's funny, I seem to pass in all sorts of bizarre situations (eg to the odd old person or in a dark nightclub) but only once in every while
Jealous of those transguys that can pass most times even without T
Doesn't help that I look 12 ha
Hopefully Chinese, but it all depends on whether they want me or not (I'm doing computer science at the moment, so the two aren't really related..)
Mine was boyish, once upon a time, but I hate getting haircuts so it's long and very girlish
I have bandages that I bind with sometimes, but it's not great and I can't breathe I'm planning on buying a binder when I get loan money again though. I used to pass all the time when I was small (I was the cutest little boy), even though I sometimes wore some bright pink trousers and a flowery tshirt
Original post by kerily
SCORE.
I introduced myself to two cisguys (one of which looked like a Beatle and was insanely good-looking
) as Tom today and neither of them quibbled it. The friend I was with then slipped up on pronouns and everyone was confused, ooops. But does this mean I passed in the first place? MAYBE IT DOES 
I introduced myself to two cisguys (one of which looked like a Beatle and was insanely good-looking
) as Tom today and neither of them quibbled it. The friend I was with then slipped up on pronouns and everyone was confused, ooops. But does this mean I passed in the first place? MAYBE IT DOES I KNOW
Sounds like you passed- why else would they have been confused when your friend slipped up with pronouns?
Original post by ZZ9
I KNOW
Sounds like you passed- why else would they have been confused when your friend slipped up with pronouns?
Sounds like you passed- why else would they have been confused when your friend slipped up with pronouns?
But I don't look like a boy! I'm short (ok, I'm 5'7, I'll quit complaining next to you
) and I have no facial hair and a round face and a high voice and... my God. You're right. I introduced myself as male (or rather, an obviously cisfemale friend introduced me as male) and nobody quibbled it.
In other news, I'm starting to get pissed-off by 'radical feminists' (because transphobia is SO new and radical) and their horrible bigoted views.
Original post by kerily
But I don't look like a boy! I'm short (ok, I'm 5'7, I'll quit complaining next to you ) and I have no facial hair and a round face and a high voice and... my God. You're right. I introduced myself as male (or rather, an obviously cisfemale friend introduced me as male) and nobody quibbled it.
In other news, I'm starting to get pissed-off by 'radical feminists' (because transphobia is SO new and radical) and their horrible bigoted views.
) and I have no facial hair and a round face and a high voice and... my God. You're right. I introduced myself as male (or rather, an obviously cisfemale friend introduced me as male) and nobody quibbled it.In other news, I'm starting to get pissed-off by 'radical feminists' (because transphobia is SO new and radical) and their horrible bigoted views.
Erm.. yes you do. I'm honestly not saying that to be nice, but you do look like a boy. A farily feminine boy (I know exactly what I'm meaning but not explaining it well), but definitely a boy. Also, how many girls are there called Tom?
How is transphobia a new thing? And do I really want to know?
Original post by ZZ9
Erm.. yes you do. I'm honestly not saying that to be nice, but you do look like a boy. A farily feminine boy (I know exactly what I'm meaning but not explaining it well), but definitely a boy. Also, how many girls are there called Tom?
How is transphobia a new thing? And do I really want to know?
How is transphobia a new thing? And do I really want to know?
Yeah, but I normally get '... what's that short for?' or 'how's that spelt?' or 'is that your REAL name?' And shush you; you're not exactly a non-biased judge of how masculine I look
I know what you mean, though. Maybe I do pass. Ish. I mean, I'm a respectable height and have a masculine dress style and have short hair and a bound chest. It's usually my voice that gives me away 
Spoilering this because it is NOT helpful, constructive or at all safe:
Spoiler
Original post by kerily
Yeah, but I normally get '... what's that short for?' or 'how's that spelt?' or 'is that your REAL name?' And shush you; you're not exactly a non-biased judge of how masculine I look I know what you mean, though. Maybe I do pass. Ish. I mean, I'm a respectable height and have a masculine dress style and have short hair and a bound chest. It's usually my voice that gives me away
Spoilering this because it is NOT helpful, constructive or at all safe:
I know what you mean, though. Maybe I do pass. Ish. I mean, I'm a respectable height and have a masculine dress style and have short hair and a bound chest. It's usually my voice that gives me away Spoilering this because it is NOT helpful, constructive or at all safe:
Spoiler
I was going to ask if people actually say that, but... well
I'm serious though, if I didn't know you at all, I'd struggle to say whether you were male or female. So.. yeah 
OH WHAT THE ****, WHY DID I LOOK AT THAT. Yeah. I can't see how you can be a feminist and think like that
Original post by ZZ9
I was going to ask if people actually say that, but... well I'm serious though, if I didn't know you at all, I'd struggle to say whether you were male or female. So.. yeah
OH WHAT THE ****, WHY DID I LOOK AT THAT. Yeah. I can't see how you can be a feminist and think like that
I'm serious though, if I didn't know you at all, I'd struggle to say whether you were male or female. So.. yeah OH WHAT THE ****, WHY DID I LOOK AT THAT. Yeah. I can't see how you can be a feminist and think like that
Oh really?
That is excellent news 
I do worry that doing things like dying my hair blue will undermine this, so there we go.I did put trigger warnings all over it, and I'll reiterate: do NOT look at this stuff if you are at all easily-upset. But this is what you're up against (and it's why I'm often suspicious of deeply feminist spaces).
Original post by kerily
Oh really? That is excellent news I do worry that doing things like dying my hair blue will undermine this, so there we go.
I did put trigger warnings all over it, and I'll reiterate: do NOT look at this stuff if you are at all easily-upset. But this is what you're up against (and it's why I'm often suspicious of deeply feminist spaces).
That is excellent news I do worry that doing things like dying my hair blue will undermine this, so there we go.I did put trigger warnings all over it, and I'll reiterate: do NOT look at this stuff if you are at all easily-upset. But this is what you're up against (and it's why I'm often suspicious of deeply feminist spaces).
Yep
I don't think I'm being prejudiced or anything, but you really do look pretty .. well, male. I thougt so when I saw you at Christmas, and you don't look any less male with blue hair. AND BLUE IS A BOY COLOUR Oh, I know, but I wanted to know
It's ****ty, and I dislike it (tonight, we had people round for a bit and there was lots of "oh, he looks a bit gay", "that's a bit gay", and "urgh.... gay" I wonder what will happen when they tell them that I'm a boy and that I have a boyfriend )
Hello, I think I might be the first cis person to post in this thread, but I just thought I'd contribute my thoughts. I'm now sure that I'm a cis male but I struggled with my gender identity for a while, I used to fantasise loads about being a girl, but I realised that if I really was female then I would desperately want to stop being seen as male, and that didn't really apply to me. For a while I thought I was genderqueer and sometimes I still do, but generally I see myself as male most of the time.
I also have a bit of a thing for MTF trans women, I really fancy some of them and sleeping with a trans woman is pretty much my biggest sexual fantasy, I signed up to a trans dating site recently in fact
Anyway I realise that this maybe isn't directly relevant to this thread, but I just thought I'd write about how I feel, if that's okay
I also have a bit of a thing for MTF trans women, I really fancy some of them and sleeping with a trans woman is pretty much my biggest sexual fantasy, I signed up to a trans dating site recently in fact
Anyway I realise that this maybe isn't directly relevant to this thread, but I just thought I'd write about how I feel, if that's okay
Original post by ZZ9
Yep I don't think I'm being prejudiced or anything, but you really do look pretty .. well, male. I thougt so when I saw you at Christmas, and you don't look any less male with blue hair. AND BLUE IS A BOY COLOUR
Oh, I know, but I wanted to know It's ****ty, and I dislike it (tonight, we had people round for a bit and there was lots of "oh, he looks a bit gay", "that's a bit gay", and "urgh.... gay" I wonder what will happen when they tell them that I'm a boy and that I have a boyfriend )
I don't think I'm being prejudiced or anything, but you really do look pretty .. well, male. I thougt so when I saw you at Christmas, and you don't look any less male with blue hair. AND BLUE IS A BOY COLOUR Oh, I know, but I wanted to know
It's ****ty, and I dislike it (tonight, we had people round for a bit and there was lots of "oh, he looks a bit gay", "that's a bit gay", and "urgh.... gay" I wonder what will happen when they tell them that I'm a boy and that I have a boyfriend )I'm glad of this. People still address me as if I'm female when I'm shopping/etc (if I hear another 'ladies' when I'm out with [best friend], I will die) but it's nice that being male isn't totally unbelievable from me. And I know, but still
I like to think I look a bit queer. Which gives me a degree of fear when I'm walking home in the dark and a load of youths walk past me and I suddenly realise that a) when I don't talk, they'll think I'm a gay male and b) I can't stand up for myself, but there we go My flatmates spent the whole time I was cooking talking about people they knew who might be gay or not.
And apparently one of the guys they know has a really 'feminine' voice. Since when was this polite or acceptable small talk to make? And I'm yet to break it to my parents that I like men Original post by kerily
We have 426 views. Dear Lord! 
Hello everyone 
Hello everyone Hello
*waves*I'm just here because I'm curious/intrigued.
Especially as a few of you have mentioned children in the future (I'm a student midwife), and I am the sort of person that would completely put my foot in it coming across an "unconventional" couple!!
I think you're all very brave coming out, I wouldn't even be able to tell my mum I was bisexual if I ever had a girlfriend for fear of what she'd say/do.
Also.. I looked at those blogs... The seem extremely narrow minded and ignorant.. And half of them are so much more bafly worded than usual they barely make sense! If you're going to insult people at least do it grammatically correctly
If it's any consolation, my boyfriend gets called lady more than I do!.. His hair down to his waist might not help, but you think the massive ginger beard would give it away!
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Ruthie!
Especially as a few of you have mentioned children in the future (I'm a student midwife), and I am the sort of person that would completely put my foot in it coming across an "unconventional" couple!!
Definitely something worth learning about! There have been a couple of isolated cases of transguys becoming pregnant; I know a couple who are trying at the moment (a transguy and his cis boyfriend) because getting pregnant is easier when you've not been on testosterone for as long. I'm not precisely sure how I plan to procure children, but I definitely want to be a dad. It'd be ideal if I could end up with a partner who wouldn't mind getting pregnant (I am REALLY not a fan of the idea myself) but if I end up having to be pregnant in order to have children, then que sera sera; it'd be worth the sacrifice to me.
Original post by kerily
Definitely something worth learning about! There have been a couple of isolated cases of transguys becoming pregnant; I know a couple who are trying at the moment (a transguy and his cis boyfriend) because getting pregnant is easier when you've not been on testosterone for as long. I'm not precisely sure how I plan to procure children, but I definitely want to be a dad. It'd be ideal if I could end up with a partner who wouldn't mind getting pregnant (I am REALLY not a fan of the idea myself) but if I end up having to be pregnant in order to have children, then que sera sera; it'd be worth the sacrifice to me.
If you're really not a fan of the idea, there is always surrogacy, which would take the pressure off you and your partner. However you then would have the issue of who's what to use for the conception, but one of my gay friends wanted her girlfriend to carry hers and a donors baby, which would be something similar
You mentioned earlier about coming from a very unfriendly town in Yorkshire.. Anywhere I'll know?
Original post by Ruthie!
If you're really not a fan of the idea, there is always surrogacy, which would take the pressure off you and your partner. However you then would have the issue of who's what to use for the conception, but one of my gay friends wanted her girlfriend to carry hers and a donors baby, which would be something similar
You mentioned earlier about coming from a very unfriendly town in Yorkshire.. Anywhere I'll know?
You mentioned earlier about coming from a very unfriendly town in Yorkshire.. Anywhere I'll know?
I'd ideally like to have a child biologically related to me - no particular reason other than sheer narcissism
There's obviously adoption or surrogacy, both of which I'll look into if I end up not being able to produce a child myself, but I'd like to see them as last resorts.I'm from near Hull, so if you're Bradford-based, I'd imagine not
Original post by kerily
I'd ideally like to have a child biologically related to me - no particular reason other than sheer narcissism There's obviously adoption or surrogacy, both of which I'll look into if I end up not being able to produce a child myself, but I'd like to see them as last resorts.
I'm from near Hull, so if you're Bradford-based, I'd imagine not
There's obviously adoption or surrogacy, both of which I'll look into if I end up not being able to produce a child myself, but I'd like to see them as last resorts.I'm from near Hull, so if you're Bradford-based, I'd imagine not
Ah no, don't know Hull
With surrogacy you can use your own eggs though, and then the surrogate has IVF to implant a biologically yours child. May be preferential to pregnancy and childbirth, and if not for you I may have planted the idea for others
Even as a last resort though you have plenty of options, and plenty of time.
All the best to you and everyone else here, no doubt I'll be back though
Sorry for butting in, I'm not transgendered, however I find this thread, and transgender issues in general extremely interesting. It's incredible to read about everybody's experiences, wonderful when they're positive and heartbreaking when they're negative. I think all of you are inspirations for the strength that you show, and if I was half as tough as you I'd be a better person.
Anyway, as I said, I think you're all amazing and I wish you the best in whatever path you choose to take.
Anyway, as I said, I think you're all amazing and I wish you the best in whatever path you choose to take.
---
(edited 12 years ago)
Hey there, I'm another cisperson reading this thread, trying to learn about the trans* community. I've only recently started to understand it properly - I have to say, I know it must be awful facing the world a lot of the time as a trans* but if that you guys can try to bear with those of us who are just very unfamiliar with your plight and need to learn more about it all.
I didn't read the second link but the first one - jesus christ! They sound bonkers on many levels though. Obviously worse for trans*folk but even if one was a selfish cisperson, this kind of sh** this is scary and damaging. So much hate
I'm glad you were feeling yourself as for the rash - do you moisturize? I personally find moisturizer helps my (shaven) skin lots
Original post by kerily
Spoilering this because it is NOT helpful, constructive or at all safe:
Spoiler
I didn't read the second link but the first one - jesus christ! They sound bonkers on many levels though. Obviously worse for trans*folk but even if one was a selfish cisperson, this kind of sh** this is scary and damaging. So much hate
Original post by fallen_acorns
i thought id try to keep this thread up-dated with what im doing - as it may help keep me motivated/confident enough to keep going.
Last night and today, was both amazing and awful:
amazing: female clothes, + shaved body + reasonable hair = feeling so awsome and right, last night with partner, was amazing... nice to spend an evening in clothes that feel right/match who i am...
Awfull: today - shaved legs/hips, came out in a massive painfull rash... all blotch/spotty/slightly pussy... not good, very painfull... very uncomfortable...
waxing may be a solution... :P
i hope all you other posters are ok + doing well,
x
Last night and today, was both amazing and awful:
amazing: female clothes, + shaved body + reasonable hair = feeling so awsome and right, last night with partner, was amazing... nice to spend an evening in clothes that feel right/match who i am...
Awfull: today - shaved legs/hips, came out in a massive painfull rash... all blotch/spotty/slightly pussy... not good, very painfull... very uncomfortable...
waxing may be a solution... :P
i hope all you other posters are ok + doing well,
x
I'm glad you were feeling yourself
as for the rash - do you moisturize? I personally find moisturizer helps my (shaven) skin lots
Original post by kerily
SCORE.
I introduced myself to two cisguys (one of which looked like a Beatle and was insanely good-looking) as Tom today and neither of them quibbled it. The friend I was with then slipped up on pronouns and everyone was confused, ooops. But does this mean I passed in the first place? MAYBE IT DOES
Hello Nice to meet you!
As for looking 12, I'm similar
I've always had a baby face, and now that I'm attempting to pass as male, people honestly assume I'm pre-pubescent. It's basically the worst thing ever.
I introduced myself to two cisguys (one of which looked like a Beatle and was insanely good-looking
) as Tom today and neither of them quibbled it. The friend I was with then slipped up on pronouns and everyone was confused, ooops. But does this mean I passed in the first place? MAYBE IT DOES Hello
Nice to meet you!As for looking 12, I'm similar
I've always had a baby face, and now that I'm attempting to pass as male, people honestly assume I'm pre-pubescent. It's basically the worst thing ever.nice one
I agree, I hate looking so young and with being short aswell people who might have just thought i was a pre-pubescent boy outside of univ, see me in univ and probably presume I'm a butch lesbian instead considering my age.
(no offence to butch lesbians!)Original post by ZZ9
Hopefully Chinese, but it all depends on whether they want me or not (I'm doing computer science at the moment, so the two aren't really related..)
Mine was boyish, once upon a time, but I hate getting haircuts so it's long and very girlish I have bandages that I bind with sometimes, but it's not great and I can't breathe I'm planning on buying a binder when I get loan money again though.
I used to pass all the time when I was small (I was the cutest little boy), even though I sometimes wore some bright pink trousers and a flowery tshirt
Mine was boyish, once upon a time, but I hate getting haircuts so it's long and very girlish
I have bandages that I bind with sometimes, but it's not great and I can't breathe I'm planning on buying a binder when I get loan money again though. I used to pass all the time when I was small (I was the cutest little boy), even though I sometimes wore some bright pink trousers and a flowery tshirt
goodluck with the Chinese application, do you have chinese heritage?
see, I never used to think about this stuff before but over the last couple of years it's gotten overwhelming. Most trans people feel this way from very young so I feel like somehow I've brought this on myself, I dunno
Original post by fallen_acorns
i thought id try to keep this thread up-dated with what im doing - as it may help keep me motivated/confident enough to keep going.
Last night and today, was both amazing and awful:
amazing: female clothes, + shaved body + reasonable hair = feeling so awsome and right, last night with partner, was amazing... nice to spend an evening in clothes that feel right/match who i am...
Awfull: today - shaved legs/hips, came out in a massive painfull rash... all blotch/spotty/slightly pussy... not good, very painfull... very uncomfortable...
waxing may be a solution... :P
i hope all you other posters are ok + doing well,
x
Last night and today, was both amazing and awful:
amazing: female clothes, + shaved body + reasonable hair = feeling so awsome and right, last night with partner, was amazing... nice to spend an evening in clothes that feel right/match who i am...
Awfull: today - shaved legs/hips, came out in a massive painfull rash... all blotch/spotty/slightly pussy... not good, very painfull... very uncomfortable...
waxing may be a solution... :P
i hope all you other posters are ok + doing well,
x
good for you
sorry, I can't advise much with hair removal. I seem to have forgotten everything related to that and makeup
Original post by takethyfacehence
Hey there, I'm another cisperson reading this thread, trying to learn about the trans* community. I've only recently started to understand it properly - I have to say, I know it must be awful facing the world a lot of the time as a trans* but if that you guys can try to bear with those of us who are just very unfamiliar with your plight and need to learn more about it all.
I didn't read the second link but the first one - jesus christ! They sound bonkers on many levels though. Obviously worse for trans*folk but even if one was a selfish cisperson, this kind of sh** this is scary and damaging. So much hate
I'm glad you were feeling yourself as for the rash - do you moisturize? I personally find moisturizer helps my (shaven) skin lots
I didn't read the second link but the first one - jesus christ! They sound bonkers on many levels though. Obviously worse for trans*folk but even if one was a selfish cisperson, this kind of sh** this is scary and damaging. So much hate
I'm glad you were feeling yourself
as for the rash - do you moisturize? I personally find moisturizer helps my (shaven) skin lots---
(edited 12 years ago)
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- NHS trust says transgender milk just as good for babies as normal milk
- Help
- other trans students..?
- I'm scared of coming out as Non-binary
- JK Rowling in ‘arrest me’ challenge over hate crime law
- True or false - non-STEM degrees are a waste of time?
- Chemistry help urgent Alevel
- Dating as a Trans Person
- LGBTQ+ Q and A Thread
- Gender questioning sibling
- i'm a man
- Research Participants needed for a Survey on Pornography Use
- Trans-inclusive Cambridge colleges
- what is it like being a trans student in first-year shared accommodation?
- Am I the only one that wishes I was the opposite gender?
- Pride London
- aqa chemistry help!
- pronouns on name badge?
- Trans-boundary water conflict case studies? A level geography
- Big Brother 2023
Latest
Last reply 1 minute ago
DHSC Health Policy Fast Track Scheme 2023 ThreadLast reply 1 minute ago
JK Rowling in ‘arrest me’ challenge over hate crime lawLast reply 1 minute ago
Amazon Project management apprenticeship 2024Last reply 3 minutes ago
Official Cambridge Postgraduate Applicants 2024 ThreadLast reply 6 minutes ago
Haven't heard back from LSELast reply 7 minutes ago
Official University of Bath Offer Holders Thread for 2024 entryLast reply 7 minutes ago
Chances of switching from LSE Acc and Fin to Econ and Maths or Fin Maths and StatsLast reply 11 minutes ago
Official University College London Applicant Thread for 2024Last reply 12 minutes ago
I accepted my firm+ paid a deposit on accommodation but I’m thinking about a Gap yearLast reply 15 minutes ago
LSE anthropology and law 2024Last reply 16 minutes ago
Official: University of Nottingham A108 2024 Entry Applicant threadLast reply 19 minutes ago
Will an IVA cause my Civil Service pre employment check to fail?Posted 20 minutes ago
Glasgow uni grade requirements for economic and social historyLast reply 20 minutes ago
Official: University of Bristol A100 2024 Entry Applicants
