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sick of my friends, really lonely
First off, I'm posting this as anonymous because many of my friends use this site so I apologise if people get angry.
Basically, in my 'group' @ school, theres about 10-15 of us. But I feel as if I'm not close to ANY of them. Theres so many of them, I have so many laughs with them & we spend so much time together but I feel SO lonely. I really don't know why but its got to the point where I just physically & emotionally can't be bothered with them anymore because I've tried SO hard.
I know its pathetic but my friends are always off doing things with each other - going to the cinema, going round each other's houses, going out together and I very rarely get invited. At this moment in time, I am just holding onto the thought that I'll be at University in a few months & thats all thats keeping me going.
I just feel as if I have no 'real' friends. And its so lonely.
Just needed to let that all out.
Basically, in my 'group' @ school, theres about 10-15 of us. But I feel as if I'm not close to ANY of them. Theres so many of them, I have so many laughs with them & we spend so much time together but I feel SO lonely. I really don't know why but its got to the point where I just physically & emotionally can't be bothered with them anymore because I've tried SO hard.
I know its pathetic but my friends are always off doing things with each other - going to the cinema, going round each other's houses, going out together and I very rarely get invited. At this moment in time, I am just holding onto the thought that I'll be at University in a few months & thats all thats keeping me going. I just feel as if I have no 'real' friends. And its so lonely.
Just needed to let that all out.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
If they don't need you, you don't need them. Abandon ship and encircle new prey.
Reply 2
Its never as easy as that. Theres 3 months of school left & everyone has formed their cliques - no one will want some girl hanging out with them just because her own friends dont want her - I am at an all girls school, its very bitchy & cliquey, its not as easily done.
Reply 3
15
i feel the same...i moved schools last year, leaving behind very close friends, now i'm friends with a few people, but not close to any of them. i really regret moving, but now i'm just holding on to the fact we have uni soon, and only like 12 more weeks of actual school or something. i suppose it enables me to work harder, but i still feel really lonely about it too. it's just weird, having been so close to people, then having no proper friends. you're not the only one tho....and i'm relatively happy outside of school. try not to let it get you down too much. xx
Reply 4
Hello kindred spirits...even i feel the same
Take my example...i still feel so hurt when i think abt it...
Three years back i had a really great friend...whom, yes, if truth should be known i worshipped...we were on the phone 24/7 etc. etc. etc.
Some time later...a new girl came to school...and she ditched me in less than two weeks...
I know what ur feeling...u start to think: am i good friend? what's wrong with me? what qualtiy does that other girl have that i don't have? Why am i not good enough to be ur friend?
Y this is happening is becuz ur clique is so huge...there are so many ppl that it's hard to get to know every1 of them...i'll make a bet that ur not the only one whose feeling lonely within ur group
Concluding: forget ur high schoolsocial life...like u said it'll be over in less than two months...in the end all of u will promise to keep in touch but chances of this happening are very low. when u get to uni join a much SMALLER clique
Take my example...i still feel so hurt when i think abt it...
Three years back i had a really great friend...whom, yes, if truth should be known i worshipped...we were on the phone 24/7 etc. etc. etc.
Some time later...a new girl came to school...and she ditched me in less than two weeks...
I know what ur feeling...u start to think: am i good friend? what's wrong with me? what qualtiy does that other girl have that i don't have? Why am i not good enough to be ur friend?
Y this is happening is becuz ur clique is so huge...there are so many ppl that it's hard to get to know every1 of them...i'll make a bet that ur not the only one whose feeling lonely within ur group
Concluding: forget ur high schoolsocial life...like u said it'll be over in less than two months...in the end all of u will promise to keep in touch but chances of this happening are very low. when u get to uni join a much SMALLER clique
Reply 5
Anonymous
Its never as easy as that. Theres 3 months of school left & everyone has formed their cliques - no one will want some girl hanging out with them just because her own friends dont want her - I am at an all girls school, its very bitchy & cliquey, its not as easily done.
I was from an all girls school as well and I had friends who treated me the way your friends are as well. I dealt with it by just not bothering with them anymore and going on my own. if people wanted to hop on my wagon to join me, by all means I let them because i mean, I could tell which were my real friends and which were not. and now that I'm 6000 miles away from them, I REALLY know who the real ones are, and they're my best friends. Only they ever message me first whenever I come online before I message them.
really...don't feel lonely. those girls aren't worth your time. just stick it on your own. of course, you need friends but sometimes it's better to be alone once in a while
Reply 6
Hi there,
I'm sick of my so called "friends" too.
It used to be OK in Primary School as everybody as well as having their own more special friends, everyone played with one another- it was great. It was before all the bullying and cliquiness began just because of some troubled souls whom joined/evolved that loved making others' lives a misery. It was before the very start of adolescence too, when there was more of a boy and girl divide and some girls became overbearing and thought they were simply it. When I was younger in Primary school, I was fine at making friends and socialising, just a little shy. I had some really special best friends back then.
But then it all changed. My best friends with the exception of one moved to other countries and I and the rest of their friends couldn't keep in contact with them because they never settled properly when we sent letters; they had gone on to somewhere else. Plus as time went by, appearances changed and I hated all this popularity business of normal being cool, I still do. Friends from the past ceased to be friends. It has been pretty lonely and awful at secondary school though I did meet some new friends, they didn't turn out to be the people they said they were and went about screwing me down. Some of them were great but they then moved to college and although we still keep in touch it's not the same if you know what I mean.
This year however, I have made one new friend. He's a good mate but I feel so bad for him bcos of what has recently happened to him due to everybody else atm. I still have one of my best friends at school and she's always been there to support me, except she tends not to hang out with me during breaks bcos she's busy with her other friends too. Which is 
bcos everyone's allowed to have more than one friend. It used to be OK until now, because that exception best friend from primary was whom I used to hang out with most of the time. But now I am sick of her, plus her timing is impeccable, because she's only thinking about herself and doesn't like me looking out for her safety or disagreeing with her, which always happens bcos right from the start we've been complete opposites and have been aware of this. She has been so mean to me recently that it's unbelieveable. Plus i just know that she's said something to a friend of both of us in the year below, bcos she's being quite frosty towards me. I've done nothing wrong. I've always been there supporting her but she has never been there for me. So much so that I feel like we can never be friends again. There's been alot of major problems with alot of depth brewing between us, and this is just topping it all off. The 3 ppl whom I have talked about this in confidence, have been really supportive and I really appreciate that, but I still can't help feeling really hurt and lonely.
Sorry for going on and on but I'm breaking down here and I don't want to- no-one does. I just know how you feel and need some support too.
I'm sick of my so called "friends" too.
It used to be OK in Primary School as everybody as well as having their own more special friends, everyone played with one another- it was great. It was before all the bullying and cliquiness began just because of some troubled souls whom joined/evolved that loved making others' lives a misery. It was before the very start of adolescence too, when there was more of a boy and girl divide and some girls became overbearing and thought they were simply it. When I was younger in Primary school, I was fine at making friends and socialising, just a little shy. I had some really special best friends back then.
But then it all changed. My best friends with the exception of one moved to other countries and I and the rest of their friends couldn't keep in contact with them because they never settled properly when we sent letters; they had gone on to somewhere else. Plus as time went by, appearances changed and I hated all this popularity business of normal being cool, I still do. Friends from the past ceased to be friends. It has been pretty lonely and awful at secondary school though I did meet some new friends, they didn't turn out to be the people they said they were and went about screwing me down.
Some of them were great but they then moved to college and although we still keep in touch it's not the same if you know what I mean.This year however, I have made one new friend. He's a good mate but I feel so bad for him bcos of what has recently happened to him due to everybody else atm.
I still have one of my best friends at school and she's always been there to support me, except she tends not to hang out with me during breaks bcos she's busy with her other friends too. Which is bcos everyone's allowed to have more than one friend. It used to be OK until now, because that exception best friend from primary was whom I used to hang out with most of the time. But now I am sick of her, plus her timing is impeccable, because she's only thinking about herself and doesn't like me looking out for her safety or disagreeing with her, which always happens bcos right from the start we've been complete opposites and have been aware of this. She has been so mean to me recently that it's unbelieveable. Plus i just know that she's said something to a friend of both of us in the year below, bcos she's being quite frosty towards me. I've done nothing wrong. I've always been there supporting her but she has never been there for me. So much so that I feel like we can never be friends again. There's been alot of major problems with alot of depth brewing between us, and this is just topping it all off. The 3 ppl whom I have talked about this in confidence, have been really supportive and I really appreciate that, but I still can't help feeling really hurt and lonely.Sorry for going on and on but I'm breaking down here and I don't want to- no-one does. I just know how you feel and need some support too.
Reply 7
Hey, yet another person who knows exactly how you feel. I think everyone in this sort of situation just has to grin and bare it for now, until we can just leave everyone and start afresh
Reply 8
Except that for me it'll be some time, over a year, before I can leave everyone behind and start afresh. I want for my life to be how I'd like it now; I've been trying to make and waiting for things to be better for such a long time now. Plus I have a really big self-esteem and confidence problem.
Plus I have a really big self-esteem and confidence problem. Reply 9
Thanks for the replies guys - I think your right, I need to just hang on in there for the time thats left & just spend time on my own. It just hurts a lil bit you know? I hope University won't be the same for me. It worries me a little bit. I just hate being lonely but I guess its only 9 weeks & I can do that.
Reply 10
Used to be in the exact same situation. I had no idea at the time what it would do for my confidence and resilience in future though
Reply 11
I think I know exactly how you feel...I've felt lonely and horrible for a significant period at my current school and thought it was just me, though I'd been fine at primary school. I later found out that part of the problem was that I get on much better with guys than with girls and the school is a v. high pressured all girls' school, though the fact that I was excruciatingly shy- but perceived as arrogant-was another reason for it.
It's tough, but you get used to being lonely after a while. And uni next year will (hopefully!) be a completely new experience; there'll be people from all backgrounds, it'll be co-ed and it's a whole new start. The uni I've picked as my firm will probably have a fair number of people from my old school but I don't have to socialise with them -- and if you're in the same situation (to the OP) don't feel you have to either. The people who stick together in their old school cliques tend to be the ones who don't make many friends.
It's tough, but you get used to being lonely after a while. And uni next year will (hopefully!) be a completely new experience; there'll be people from all backgrounds, it'll be co-ed and it's a whole new start. The uni I've picked as my firm will probably have a fair number of people from my old school but I don't have to socialise with them -- and if you're in the same situation (to the OP) don't feel you have to either. The people who stick together in their old school cliques tend to be the ones who don't make many friends.
Reply 12
Is there anything you can do outside of school? I danced throughout my last year in school; ballroom and latin but there are other types, like hip-hop, salsa, ballet, etcetera, and dance is v. popular at the moment 
Finding an external interest to focus on, helps, and you'll make friends simply by hanging around another place. Try and pick up some extracurriculars; are there any clubs at school you could join/set up that you're not involved in? What about drama productions, or working backstage? School newspaper? There's even the dreaded Saturday job... 
All of which will fill up some of the empty space left by false friends. Chin up, love, you can get through it. It'll go quicker as A-levels start eating into your time.
Finding an external interest to focus on, helps, and you'll make friends simply by hanging around another place. Try and pick up some extracurriculars; are there any clubs at school you could join/set up that you're not involved in? What about drama productions, or working backstage? School newspaper? There's even the dreaded Saturday job... All of which will fill up some of the empty space left by false friends. Chin up, love, you can get through it. It'll go quicker as A-levels start eating into your time.Reply 13
17
To be honest, at my school the kids who work backstage tend to be the loserish people with very few friends, so my advice would be to not stray into these areas. If you're going to University next year, I'm assuming that you're in Upper Sixth. This time should be great, because everyone has respect for each other. You shouldn't have any worries about speaking to new people, because everyone wants to get to know those people they have rarely spoken to before they leave.
I'm in the Upper Sixth, and you can normally find lots of people in my year down at the local pub in town on Friday evenings. While in school you might not normally hang around with these people, you can get chatting in a pub really easily, have a great evening, and then on Monday morning you'll be mates with everyone you saw last Friday.
My advice would be to find out where everyone hangs out at the weekend, and then go down and meet them. You don't have to be invited. After a bit of alcohol, you'll lose any of that nervousness you may have and you'll make a bunch of mates in no time.
I'm in the Upper Sixth, and you can normally find lots of people in my year down at the local pub in town on Friday evenings. While in school you might not normally hang around with these people, you can get chatting in a pub really easily, have a great evening, and then on Monday morning you'll be mates with everyone you saw last Friday.
My advice would be to find out where everyone hangs out at the weekend, and then go down and meet them. You don't have to be invited. After a bit of alcohol, you'll lose any of that nervousness you may have and you'll make a bunch of mates in no time.
Reply 14
17
Anonymous
Thanks for the replies guys - I think your right, I need to just hang on in there for the time thats left & just spend time on my own. It just hurts a lil bit you know? I hope University won't be the same for me. It worries me a little bit. I just hate being lonely but I guess its only 9 weeks & I can do that.
No, don't just give up like that! You'll be left with very sad memories of your time at school if you act like a loner for the next few months! Come on, get yourself together. There's absolutely no need to be lonely. Besides, you won't be ready for the Uni lifestyle if you don't have a bit of practice now.
Reply 15
Using myself as an example...i spent all my life in new jersey...then had to come to london to go college...i didn't know anybody but that never stopped me from doing what i feel..........
y not trying asking the people you joke with if they have seen a certain movie at the cinema....then they all start talking.....den ask them if y'all can go c a particular one....
maybe they like you...but u r just shy to show them that u can also be an outgoing person...
but one major advice..don't anything you don't want to do just for the fact that you wanna b like the other girls.
y not trying asking the people you joke with if they have seen a certain movie at the cinema....then they all start talking.....den ask them if y'all can go c a particular one....
maybe they like you...but u r just shy to show them that u can also be an outgoing person...
but one major advice..don't anything you don't want to do just for the fact that you wanna b like the other girls.
Reply 16
Are there any other people in your position i.e. seem nice but have been 'dumped' by their friends/tend to hang out by themselves and are lonely? You could try talking to them about it...
Reply 17
Or i got a better idea.....holler at me..and i would give u a gr8 time out....4get bout al dem bitchy girls...
Reply 18
17
Perhaps they feel exactly the same as you feel, they might feel that you're not really bothered with them.
You should go out with them on that 'rare occasion', get drunk and tell them you really like them all etc etc, or you could just say it when you're not drunk, but it takes the edge of it a bit if you're a bit pissed.
You should go out with them on that 'rare occasion', get drunk and tell them you really like them all etc etc, or you could just say it when you're not drunk, but it takes the edge of it a bit if you're a bit pissed.
Reply 19
13
Anonymous
First off, I'm posting this as anonymous because many of my friends use this site so I apologise if people get angry.
Basically, in my 'group' @ school, theres about 10-15 of us. But I feel as if I'm not close to ANY of them. Theres so many of them, I have so many laughs with them & we spend so much time together but I feel SO lonely. I really don't know why but its got to the point where I just physically & emotionally can't be bothered with them anymore because I've tried SO hard. I know its pathetic but my friends are always off doing things with each other - going to the cinema, going round each other's houses, going out together and I very rarely get invited. At this moment in time, I am just holding onto the thought that I'll be at University in a few months & thats all thats keeping me going.
I just feel as if I have no 'real' friends. And its so lonely.
Just needed to let that all out.
Basically, in my 'group' @ school, theres about 10-15 of us. But I feel as if I'm not close to ANY of them. Theres so many of them, I have so many laughs with them & we spend so much time together but I feel SO lonely. I really don't know why but its got to the point where I just physically & emotionally can't be bothered with them anymore because I've tried SO hard.
I know its pathetic but my friends are always off doing things with each other - going to the cinema, going round each other's houses, going out together and I very rarely get invited. At this moment in time, I am just holding onto the thought that I'll be at University in a few months & thats all thats keeping me going. I just feel as if I have no 'real' friends. And its so lonely.
Just needed to let that all out.
welcome to my world...
i have two or three reliable friends...
the rest are just 'there'...
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