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I really want a girlfriend

Can I have serious replys to this as it is serious, no one line answers plz.

Hi, i'm male and 19 and I really want a girlfriend, I feel depressed not having one, and I'm just feeling generally really down about it. And I simply can't see how I will be able to meet one except out in a club, but even then I don't see how.

There are a few girls I like the look of in the Uni bar and in work but I either think they are completly out of my leauge or just not interested, but how would I go about talking to one. I mean they've never spoken to me,
Where do people meet other people in Uni, if I were to meet someone in a club then what would I say to them to ask them if they like me?

I just need some advice about the whole thing. Sorry for all the questions I'm just feeling a bit lonely

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Reply 1

Profesh

Try initiating 'conversation'.

Reply 2

KingRalph

Sounds to me like you've got self-confidence issues. Girls don't wanna go out with someone who needs a girlfriend, unless they're needy too and then you'll both get on like a house on fire! Seriously though, you're gonna have to learn to be happy on your own before you even think about getting a girlfriend.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I'm in the same position, although i don't necessarily need a bf just it would be nice, but perhaps that is just because it's nearly Valentines day. I'm shy so i find making conversations hard, and the guys i like are either attatched or mates, oh well *hug*

Reply 4

cloudofcalm

See, here's the secret. Girls are attracted to guys who don't give a rat's arse. When you're constantly there, when you lack confidence, when you tell us how amazing we are ...We don't keep interested, sadly! Confidence is a major turn-on. Look around, are *you* attracted to girls who are smiley, happy and generally outgoing? Or does the girl in the corner, too shy to talk to people, who no one really knows much about, present more of an interesting prospect?

First, find something to be interested in. Anything - go out, socialise! It doesn't have to be bars, God knows. Join a gym, go swimming, skating, go to the park, look at art galleries - there's GOT to be something that interests you, and if all else fails, do exercise. At least it's good for you! :p:

People tend to meet other people because of mutual interests - I met my boy through politics and our speech and debate class and the fact that he knew waay more on the Middle East than I did! Friends of mine know boys through classes, social interests, etcetera etcetera.

Finally, S. M. I. L. E! If you're lacking in self-confidence, it's gonna come across, in the way you hold yourself, the way you speak and the way you act. Act like a cocky t*at if necessary, but you want to appear confident, even if inside, you're shaking! As for approaching girls at bars, etc - don't stare at her for ten minutes, then walk across, unless she's making dead on eye-contact, smiling and generally flirting as easily as it is possible across a crowded room! Try going up to someone you like the look of, and strike up conversation, even going, 'hey, did you see a bloke with dark hair and a stripey shirt? My mate's supposed to be here, and I was late' or something, which at least you're interacting with her. Chances are, if she likes the look of you, she'll engage you in conversation, if she doesn't ... well, you know she doesn't, but nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Blokes have a hard time of it; they have to do the approaching, but girls are generally pretty receptive. Good luck!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

*hug*

I guess in reply to profesh's comment, I think there is some truth in that but where would you make conversation, i find conversation extreamly hard to start and probably do have some self-confidence issues.

Reply 6

KingRalph

Go to www.doubleyourdating.com and sign up for the newsletter. Read it, and most importantly... believe what David DeAngelo says. It's the solemn truth.

Reply 7

parag

Haha just try and get on and not let it affect you too much. If you have self-confidence problems, start working out or something, that may help :smile:

Eventually, it will all come to you, or at least that's how I look at it :biggrin:

Reply 8

Fluent in Lies

cloudofcalm

Look around, are *you* attracted to girls who are smiley, happy and generally outgoing? Or does the girl in the corner, too shy to talk to people, who no one really knows much about, present more of an interesting prospect?

I like the ones in the corner.

Reply 9

beecher

Fluent in Lies

I like the ones in the corner.

FiL, are you me?

Reply 10

Kittennffc

Just because you want a girlfriend doesn't mean you'll get once instantly, you need to strike up conversations with people, and put yourself out there :smile:

Don't just think you can only meet people in clubs, theres so many ways to meet people; friends of friends, accidentally walking into someone and getting a conversation going, or whatever!

Just remember, if you come acros to girls like you desperately want a girlfriend, it might just put them off, so play it cool :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

cloudofcalm, thank you for the advice. That makes a lot of sense. I know i have to be more confident and talk to more people, its just i have always been very shy and quiet. Probably due to a rough time in school when I was younger. But now I'm in Uni I am steadily overcoming this and I guess I just need to keep on trying and get over my fear.

You've made me feel a lot better. And I'm going to join the gym tomorrow. I guess it will happen eventually. I have had a gf before so I'm not completly clueless just its getting me down at the moment.

Reply 12

Fluent in Lies

p00p

FiL, are you me?

Sort of, only better looking.

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

KingRalph

Go to www.doubleyourdating.com and sign up for the newsletter. Read it, and most importantly... believe what David DeAngelo says. It's the solemn truth.