Just broke up...

Dream Theater

I'll be nice to you. If you didnt really like the relationship anyway then why feel low about it?

It wasnt that I didnt like it, i was just so confused about it, and he really wasnt the best person for me. I dont really know why am upset, i guess id got kinda attached.

Reply 4

Misogynist

18

Ah I know what you mean.. subconsiously everyone feels 'low' when something bad happens. Drink some hot chocolate and go to sleep :smile:

You'll feel well in the morning.

Reply 5

Me 2...cept iv been with mine 4 years. Absolutly gutted. Never felt so...well wierd keep having phases of different emotion...but basically heartbroken. I love him so much, and should be with him now but It was best for me to come home (im at uni and hes at a diff one). He is so lovely about it though, i respect him so much for the way he did it, and we shall remain best friends, i know that. Just a bit hard to get used to. Chin up love.

Reply 6

bewithoutyou

wednesburywench

He is so lovely about it though, i respect him so much for the way he did it, and we shall remain best friends, i know that.

I envy you for being able to say that. I got dumped last Saturday and he probably did it in the worst way he could have done. It was completely out of the blue and this week has been hell - not eating, not sleeping, not concentrating on anything, and constantly crying from a combination of the shock and missing him with all my heart.

It's so hard and I know the only thing that's going to help is time. To the OP, make every effort to spend as much time as possible with your friends over the next few days (mine have been amazing to me). And to wednesburywench, I'm thinking of you and I know what you're going through.

I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

Reply 7

I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for the advice and that. I have to be strong for our friendships sake....at the end of the day our relationship was the best thing that i cud ever have wished for...but i no i still have him to talk to when i need him most, just cant touch him and be affectionate...which is the hardest thing.

Reply 8

bewithoutyou

wednesburywench

I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for the advice and that. I have to be strong for our friendships sake....at the end of the day our relationship was the best thing that i cud ever have wished for...but i no i still have him to talk to when i need him most, just cant touch him and be affectionate...which is the hardest thing.

If it's any consolation at all, in my first year at uni I broke up with a boyfriend of 3.5 years. Now we genuinely are best friends. We had a few weird patches but things are really good with us these days and he's even been a huge support since my recent boyfriend left me. It can be done and it's so rewarding when it works out, because you have a friend who knows you inside and out.

This time around my boyfriend hasn't even bothered to contact me since breaking my heart, and it's even harder to deal with because I miss him so much and would do anything just to hear his voice :frown:

If you ever want to talk more just drop me a PM. Good luck sweetie xx

Reply 9

MNBStyle

9

noofruit

Hadnt even been going out for that long, and i know for definate its for the best, but still really quite upset.

All my friends are asleep or off having fun and was just hoping there was someone there who could be nice to me. Just for a bit.

Maybe right now your just feeling abit lonely?? and naturally your going to be abit upset about breaking up.
Im here for you if you need to talk :smile:

Reply 10

Dragonshorts

OP

MNBStyle

Maybe right now your just feeling abit lonely?? and naturally your going to be abit upset about breaking up.
Im here for you if you need to talk :smile:

I think maybe yes that is it. I hate being upset alone, and I always feel stupid when I cry. Its late too and so I cant even put a sad film on and pretend to myself its that that is upsetting. Eugh!

Reply 11

thanks bewithoutyou Thats really really encouraging to hear. Im pretty sure we can do that too, altho obviously there would be dodgy times if we did meet other people i reakon. I dont think either of us are going to even go there though for a good while, i think we both feel uni is what needs to be concentrated on, he said he wasnt interested in a relationship for a really long time, and neither am i. Obviously things change but my love for him wont, and I just hope I can be a good friend to him as he always has been to me.

Reply 12

to noofruit...dont do silly things like put sad films/songs on on purpose....it will only make things worse. Dont even put music on. Watch tv, try and fall asleep, read a book to take your mind off, and when you do get to sleep (i no its hard i think it was 4.30am last night for me! and it had to be in his bed with him too cus i had nowhere else to go) then you will sleep it off and feel so much better about it tomorrow. Amazing sleep actually does help. As does in the morninh talk to your friends....that also really helps, find someone who understands you. What where his reasons if you dont mind? You need to think about these carefully, and come to terms with them slowly. Then you will be able to start accepting and moving on. If you broke up badly/only been togeter a few months then it may be best not to contact him for a while, and maybe not be friends. If you feel you have a friendship that could work then do your best to accept his reasons, and feel happy that he will feel happier without you.

Reply 13

digitalparadox

oh well **** happens :hugs:

Reply 14

Profesh

20

I've not had to endure this precise eventuality, and hope that I never shall; which isn't to render me completely devoid of empathy, mind.

Catharsis in manageable doses, I would prescribe.

Reply 15

ignore idiots like digitalparadox...they clearly have never lost anyone they cared about so much

Reply 16

apple tree

noofruit

I think maybe yes that is it. I hate being upset alone, and I always feel stupid when I cry. Its late too and so I cant even put a sad film on and pretend to myself its that that is upsetting. Eugh!

I wouldn't put on a sad film even if you had the time, I would put on a nicely rounded one, gentle comedy perhaps :smile:

(it's an aquired taste but I really like the pink panther films). I agree with others that say it's the recentness (is that a word?) that's the root of the sad feelings, always remember you'll be happy again soon enough.
Also the days are getting longer, that always cheers me up.

Reply 17

Keybolasosa

3

Profesh

I've not had to endure this precise eventuality, and hope that I never shall; which isn't to render me completely devoid of empathy, mind.

Catharsis in manageable doses, I would prescribe.

Is this because you've never had a girlfreind/boyfreind or because your so much of a respected person that your girlfreind/boyfreind is never likely to leave you?

Reply 18

Dragonshorts

OP

Thank you everyone for being so nice. Some of my friends are finally awake and we are going to go and watch nice films and eat chocolate later. Im sure ill get over it, I think its just because this one was the first one I had really seen going somewhere proper. Sorry to everyone who has lost someone recently too, I hope you feel better soon.

Reply 19