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Relationship madness (another one of 'those' threads)

I split up with my gf about 2 months ago. I initiated the split, therefore i'm pretty much fully over her and she very rarely crosses my mind and i feel i can get on with stuff.

And now, i've met somebody else. I think shes great and we get on really well so it seems. We've both expressed theres kinda more than friend 'inclinations' there (long story), and now we're in that get to know each other stage.

Still no matter how much i like this person (lots), i still feel hesitant. Note this is only my second love interest. My previous gf was my first and that ended quite badly.

Am i just being more careful this time? Am i rushing into things? am i likely to need more time or space.

I really dont know im just quite thouroughly confused :confused:

Reply 1

Philosophia

2

Don't worry, you are definitely taking the right approach. Eager, yet cautious. By the sounds of it, you aren't rushing into anything. If this girl truly respects you, and is potential 'girlfriend material' so-to-speak, she will not mind you taking your time to make the right decision. You've been hurt before in the past and you don't want to rush into something you're not sure about. So relax, and take some time to consider your decision. But remember, life is short, and you don't want to live your life thinking "what if", so unfortunately it is a double edged sword. Good Luck!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

You probably are going for the right approach, being hesitant.
I would say don't rush into anything too fast, make sure you get to know her really well and feel more confident with each other.
If your last relationship ended badly, no wonder your feeling hesitant, just go with the flow and do what you want and when you feel ready.
2 months is kinda qyick in my opinion, esp if it was your first relationship but its up to you.
If your ex still has feelings for you, it might be hard for her, maybe if your still on talking terms you should tell her if you start dating this new girl, I know I would rather hear my ex had a new gf rather than find out from someone else.

Reply 3

JadedHippy

11

You probably need a bit more time. But go for it anyway!!! She is not going to wait forever.

*Jaded

Reply 4

Bobbie W

what a nice sentiment, he could have posted anonomously for that very reason, or not you could be jumping to conclusions, and why do you hate your ex so, less he went off with some one else (and it sounds like he didnt) your being far to harsh, forgive others their mistakes and all that.

Reply 5

pedy1986

13

Indu.Mitra

I understand what your saying. Its just I wa smy ex's first love, and we broke up two months ago too. However, after we broke up he didnt even want to stay friends. the only mistake I made with him was caring for him too much and showing/telling him too early. I just don't understand how people can move forward so quickly. Surely there must be a time to grieve. I have mixed feelings towards my ex.

two months is ages...

Reply 6

speedstacker

3

Indu.Mitra

I understand what your saying. Its just I wa smy ex's first love, and we broke up two months ago too. However, after we broke up he didnt even want to stay friends. the only mistake I made with him was caring for him too much and showing/telling him too early. I just don't understand how people can move forward so quickly. Surely there must be a time to grieve. I have mixed feelings towards my ex.

I think i understood how your ex felt.I also just broke up with my ex about 1 month ago.he was my first one, and as u have described i really dun wish to see my ex anymore. This is because he reminds me of the old time and i'll feel sad or down when i think of him.I think your ex just doesn't wanna feel the pain and that's y he doesn't wanna be friends.My first love doesn't work cos i didn't know how to love (i think).I hope wot i said make sense lol :p:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I understand what your all saying. And ive been thinking maybe it is too quick.

if ur my ex.. then ur a prick!

No im not lol
But i've already told my ex about this and altho she seems quite upset she said she doesnt mind. I know she probably does really but then what can i do? I hate hurting people but is it really worth getting myself hurt just to protect somebody i dont care so much about anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but its how i feel.

you don't want to live your life thinking "what if"

Exactly!

Reply 8

Monkey_Maiden

11

Anonymous

I understand what your all saying. And ive been thinking maybe it is too quick.

No im not lol
But i've already told my ex about this and altho she seems quite upset she said she doesnt mind. I know she probably does really but then what can i do? I hate hurting people but is it really worth getting myself hurt just to protect somebody i dont care so much about anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but its how i feel.

Exactly!

If you're having doubts about it i.e. moving to fast maybe it's safest to wait a while, not to say cool things down but spend time getting to know this girl and just enjoying yourself, the more you see her the more you might decide that you are ready for it.
You have to make sure you don't just go for it with this new girl if there are any doubts as its not fair on her or you, maybe talk to this new girl about your ex and how you feel and to take things slow? You don't need to make a decision now! If you both know you liek each other theres no point rushing.
Well good you told your ex, having been in that situation myself she probly isn't that ok with it but is tryin to be happy for you. like you said though don't make yourself unhappy to protect her but bear in mind she will probly be struggling with this and maybe being matey to her will help her realise you are mates but you have moved on.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

I understand what your all saying. And ive been thinking maybe it is too quick.

No im not lol
But i've already told my ex about this and altho she seems quite upset she said she doesnt mind. I know she probably does really but then what can i do? I hate hurting people but is it really worth getting myself hurt just to protect somebody i dont care so much about anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but its how i feel.

Exactly!

If you're having doubts about it i.e. moving to fast maybe it's safest to wait a while, not to say cool things down but spend time getting to know this girl and just enjoying yourself, the more you see her the more you might decide that you are ready for it.
You have to make sure you don't just go for it with this new girl if there are any doubts as its not fair on her or you, maybe talk to this new girl about your ex and how you feel and to take things slow? You don't need to make a decision now! If you both know you liek each other theres no point rushing.
Well good you told your ex, having been in that situation myself she probly isn't that ok with it but is tryin to be happy for you. like you said though don't make yourself unhappy to protect her but bear in mind she will probly be struggling with this and maybe being matey to her will help her realise you are mates but you have moved on.

Relationship madness (another one of 'those' threads)

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