The Student Room Group

Can you love/have feelings for someone youve met online?

I started talking to someone online over a year ago, and Im starting to think my feelings for them go beyond just a liking or fondness.

Weve never spoken on the phone or met in real life, weve swapped pictures and I fancy this person like mad but they dont find me good looking which is fair enough.

We used to talk of meeting but now the person has changed, we both used to be unconfident and shy but thats changed for them now and I get jealous. The person is also desperate to get laid and keeps going on about looking for people to have sex with or a relationship.

As stupid as it sounds if they suddenly told me they had sex with someone or had started a relationship I would go insane with jealousy:confused:

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Sure you can have feelings for someone you meet online *cough* but by te sounds of things, I'd leave it just as an online relationship, as you've evidently grown apart. :smile:
Reply 2
I really find that a hard thing to deal with though :frown:
Reply 3
Yes, i believe you can!
Yeah, I can understand it, but I would also look at my life and wonder whether i was a bit sad??

No offense x
Reply 5
Of course it can happen, although you havent spoken on the phone etc. which in itself intensifies the attraction. I think you have deeper feelings for the other person than they do for you, and yes it is going to hurt, but leave it as an online relationahip :hugs:
Reply 6
Of course; however, 'til you've at least engaged in conversation over the telephone, ascertaining precisely who or what it is that you've developed said 'feelings' for may yet prove to be somewhat of an intractable dilemma.
it is not something I have done but I can see the potential if only because knowing someone on an "online" basis allows so much more room for the imagination to run free and invent them as your ideal partner
Reply 8
Profesh
Of course; however, 'til you've at least engaged in conversation over the telephone, ascertaining precisely who or what it is that you've developed said 'feelings' for may yet prove to be somewhat of an intractable dilemma.

Speaking it must be said from personal experience, meeting up is even more crucial than any telephone exchanges.
Reply 9
I've been in the same situation - it's worth just meeting up with them. I do believe you can start to feel something for somone over the Internet, especially over a year, but there's an extent to which it stops and can't go further without knowing the REAL them - see them in person (just don't go on your own!!)
yes, i believe you can for sure
MagicNMedicine
it is not something I have done but I can see the potential if only because knowing someone on an "online" basis allows so much more room for the imagination to run free and invent them as your ideal partner


Very true - except that then when you meet them they may disappoint. You can have a fantastic personality-match with someone you meet online, but it can be hard to tell if there's a spark until you've met.
Reply 12
yeah its quite likely most times ppl meet up its disapointing because we have preconceived ideas or hopes of what they'd be like... and they probably don't meet up to our expectations
Reply 13
thats a good question.

i dont feel that you can because you've not met them in person.

its easy to speak on the net coz you can think about what you are going to say and make it sound good. for most of us the niceness comes naturally but what if you meet someone scary who is coming across nice.

hmmm...

i dont know. it maybe is possible. :confused:
the person sounds like he just wants to get laid more than anything, but i have fallen in love online,me and my bf are still together over a year now and we've even got some TSR couples :love: so it's possible...but this person sounds like a jerk..drop whoever it is. there are better fish in the sea...
Reply 15
It is very possible to fall in love with a person on the internet, as we fall in love for different reasons. You might go for sense of humour and this might have come across from him in your online conversations.

The only problem with online relationships is that of course you can't verify that the details they are giving you are entirely true, and even if the person is who they say they are, when it comes to meeting them face to face it can be very uncomfortable, as you're used to being able to take as long as you want to respond to emails/instant messages etc, whereas now you have to talk face to face.

I think you should arrange to meet this person. If they say they don't want to meet up, then forget about them. You'd be better off with someone from your school/college/university or maybe a friend of a friend.

Talking to people online is a good way to build up confidence, especially if you're shy, but nothing beats face to face! Ask your friends to introduce you to people they know, or arrange to go out together with your friends.

Good luck!
Personally I don't think I could fall in love online...Be attracted to someone and really like them, yeah - it's happened, I used to really like this guy I met, we phoned each other all the time and stuff, planned to meet, but then like you said, we both changed. I couldn't fall in love without meeting someone first, though.
Reply 17
I know you can.
I met my boyfriend through our university internet fora, and we started emailing as friends first. By the end of December 2004 we'd managed to ascertain that we both had romantic feelings for each other. We spoke on the phone for the first time at the start of January 2005 and met that February. It sounds weird, but even though we didn't meet until Feb 2005 we count ourselves as having been together since Dec 2004, since that was when our feelings emerged as being mutual. We have been together ever since.
I wouldn't advise going on dating sites or meeting people in random chatrooms as I think these can be more dangerous. However, I don't think that the way I met my boyfriend was any different to meeting at uni or in a club. His address was that of a university residence at the time, and he even wrote to my parents, enclosing the contact details of his parents, to assure them that he wouldn't harm me and that they could contact his parents if they wanted to check up on his story. He was 23 at the time, and thus of the age of majority and not accountable to his parents.
People say it's rubbish, but they're not me and they're not my boyfriend. We know how it was and how it is. I would of course recommend exercising general caution when forming relationships with people on the internet!!
sure u can!!! it is exactly how i met my current Bf of 2,5 years :smile:
all you need is love!!!!
Reply 19
I have. Its totally possible, and kinda sweet.