I don't like what I've become.

Focus on your body. Eat healthily, do plenty of exercise, masturbate frequently.

I promise you. The whole 'healthy body healthy mind' thing is absolutely true. You'll definitely feel an improvement.

Basically, I feel like Stan in that episode of South Park where **** starts flying out of everyone's mouth.

Welcome to growing up.

Welcome to the future, a future not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of an absence of imagination. Next stop, adulthood.

I know what you mean about stan thinking everything is ****, but he's right, most everyday stuff is vapid, pointless, superficial nonsense. There's nothing wrong with recognising this though, it's not crazy if it's true. I've lost interest in quite a few things myself recently after deciding they were a waste of time, but I don't feel unhappy. The up side of that is that you can focus more on the things that aren't bull****.

I'm not too sure about that not wanting to talk to people though, maybe the people around you don't have much worth talking about?

Yeah! The thing is, I don't think I'd be able to tell you what genuine interests me right now, possibly because I'm tired, or maybe because I just don't know any more.


When I was like this in first year, it was for a very different reason, but I think you may have a point. However, I'd say that I enjoy talking about pointless things (most of my posts on here are in Chat tbh) rather than serious things, but it's very possible that what I enjoy has changed...

what are you studying might I ask?

I guess you've become quite pessimistic/fed up with daily life. I've felt like this before;like there really is no point in all the stuff related to academics/jobs etc.
What you need is some relaxation away from it all.

Before I go


Do you still feel like that?

Isn't that what the holidays are for? I haven't really managed to get away from my work though, I brought loads of notes and keep reminding myself to read some (even though I don't) but my point is, I haven't been able to just forget about my work, even for a day.

Mech Eng, why do you ask?

erm... I should go to bed, hopefully this thread won't die (yn)

Sorry in advance is this post is incoherent, but these thoughts have been in my head for quite a few hours, so they're not exactly fresh (I wasn't even sure which forum to put it in, this one just felt right...)

Basically, I feel like Stan in that episode of South Park where **** starts flying out of everyone's mouth. Since I've been at university, I've become increasingly cynical, and increasingly apathetic, which concerns me, because just a couple of years ago (or maybe 3 ) I was nothing like this, and I certainly never wanted to be so apathetic. It just seems that now, virtually nothing interests me, and it's kind of depressing, not being able to fully participate in any conversation or activity, it feels a bit like I'm dead...

I've got so much work to do, and loads of placements to apply for, and I just haven't done any of it. I don't think it's straightforward procrastination (it could be though), part of me really wants to get everything done, because deep down I really enjoy what I do, as sad as it sounds, but I did next to no work in the previous term. I was supposed to use the holidays to catch up and wrangle some interviews, but I just haven't. I'm sure I'll get round to everything at some point, because I have no choice (technically I do have a choice, but I don't want to **** up in life and be unemployable so I don't really), but most of me feels totally indifferent to all this work I'm doing. I mean... what's the point, really?

Another thing. Before university, I was such an optimistic little thing! But right now... I doubt I could be much more pessimistic. The strange thing is, my outlook seems to be cyclical. I start each year with such optimism, enthusiasm and promise, during the Christmas holidays I'm mostly indifferent, then by the beginning of the second term I feel worthless, and then I feel a little better during the exam period (not exactly sure why) and then I feel better during the holidays, until the beginning of the next year When I feel like I do now (and I've felt like this since about the middle of the summer tbqh), everything feels pointless. Before I was a fresher, I was willing to give... most things a go, but now, as soon as someone even suggests something to try, I've thought of a plethora of reasons why I can't, and my parents have noted that I wasn't like this... while providing no help regarding how I can fix myself ffs

I feel very much like I did this time two years ago, a very low point (or period, I suppose) in my life, where I was talking myself (lol) out of even talking to people for some reason (well, I know the reason, but it's irrelevant right now). I feel like I'm regressing back into this... recluse...

This is getting pretty long now, I should wrap it up. To summarise, I've become really apathetic, cynical and/or negative, and I don't like it at all. I just want to know... why I am like this, and if there is anything I can do... but I don't really care if anyone reads this tbh, but I think it was necessary to whine to the internet for my own good; isn't this what the relationships forum is for?

I think my younger self would shed a single tear of pity, seeing the bitter person I appear to have become.

Is this what being an adult is like? ****.

This concerns me because... my imagination (or at least, my creativity) is something I've held dear since I could walk, pretty much.


Yeah! The thing is, I don't think I'd be able to tell you what genuine interests me right now, possibly because I'm tired, or maybe because I just don't know any more.


When I was like this in first year, it was for a very different reason, but I think you may have a point. However, I'd say that I enjoy talking about pointless things (most of my posts on here are in Chat tbh) rather than serious things, but it's very possible that what I enjoy has changed...

No not really. I guess it's a seasonal thing
Though I'm on a gap year now and I feel better than I had all through my A Levels which were hell because we had to do the entire thing in a year and the teaching was crap.

I guess you cant really have the same type of freedom what with uni work and jobs etc. You can still try though.

I just wondered if you were getting sick of it and that's part of your problem. I can't imagine a Mech eng getting boring though, I mean it's surely enough to keep someone challenged & stimulated if for someone into that sort of subject. I know it can be easy to lose motivation when you're doing something you don't enjoy anymore though, even if the finish line is within sight. If you're close to graduation you should just get your head down and graft for one fiinal term, then deal with **** later, as now would be no time to start fannying around after you've invested so much time & money.

Damn, you're just like me. I know how it feels. I think apathy is supposed to be when you have too much perceived work and not enough perceived skill to do it, but I don't get that, because I feel I can do the work and it's not too much. I don't get stressed anymore either.

But anyway, just persevere, when it's do or die, then make sure you do instead of dying. That's what I'm resigned to doing atm and it's worked so far, it's either that or make the most of the first term so your second term isn't as crappy which is what i'm going to do from now on since I have the uni rhythm now. I spend my whole day watching football/other stuff you wouldn't want to know about, I go out often too.

What do you spend your days doing?

I spend my days doing something football related/music/course related, so I say i'm into piano, science and football. What do you actually find exciting/what do you spend your days doing? I know it's hard when you lose your imagination of stuff, everything feels mundane, but it doesn't matter, do what you like and what is of worth to you.

Welcome, brother!

Hmmm yeah, I suppose it could be seasonal, everything tends to get a bit ****ty before Spring, in my experience. But why does this happen... every year?

No, I really don't like the lack of choice, but I'm really indecisive and I hate having too much choice, I don't get it


Truth be told... vibrations can **** off. But no, I'm not getting sick of it. At the moment I'm a bit sick of doing all this work every year and not having any fun and getting... a number at the end. Is this what my existence has come to?

I've just had so much trouble even starting my work though, that's why I'm so far behind, and this makes all of this seem quite overwhelming.


You may have a point, I don't even feel clever enough to do my work any more, and my intelligence is all I had I don't think I'm stressed right now, but it takes me ages to fall asleep nowadays, could that be a sign?

Persevere. It's what I always do. But I don't live.


Well I spent most of the first term having or recovering from migraines, and watching TV, and doing whatever I could to avoid work :/

Occasionally I played my bass. I love my bass. But I can't think of what else excites me...


Welcome to what?