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Not quiter sure what to do...
For starters my girlfriend and I both live in London. She'll be starting uni this year and it looks like she'll be over 100 miles away. I'm not quite sure what to do; whether to stay with her and see how it goes or just break up so we dont have to get to that situation.
I trust her lots and I know she won't cheat on me and I won't cheat on her either. But she'll be wanting me to visit weekly, and tbh that will be a lot of effort on my part. For her it's nothing as she expects me to just do it for her. But i'll be the one travelling 3 hours and paying to get there. I'm at uni now and i'm still the one that puts most of the effort in to see each other.
I have been in a long distance relationship before (300 miles) and that lasted 10 months. I'm not sure I want to do anything like that again as I've just got used to her being a short bus ride away from me - it's much cheaper as well, and I don't have to book tickets to see her :/.
I know she's taking me for granted a bit as well, she just expects me to do all this for her when she goes away but i'm not too sure i can or want to. She's let me down quite a few times in the past month so I can't exactly say I trust her to put the effort in when she goes away. She expects everything to be ok with her not putting any effort in. I guess the bit that worries me the most is that I wont be a big part of her life anymore, she'll be out there enjoying her uni life and going out most nights, not even thinking about me
I also don't really fancy staying with her and then breaking up 2 weeks after she starts at uni as I see that as quite a waste of time if the worst does happen.
So, wut2do? Any similar experiences or advice plz
I trust her lots and I know she won't cheat on me and I won't cheat on her either. But she'll be wanting me to visit weekly, and tbh that will be a lot of effort on my part. For her it's nothing as she expects me to just do it for her. But i'll be the one travelling 3 hours and paying to get there. I'm at uni now and i'm still the one that puts most of the effort in to see each other.
I have been in a long distance relationship before (300 miles) and that lasted 10 months. I'm not sure I want to do anything like that again as I've just got used to her being a short bus ride away from me - it's much cheaper as well, and I don't have to book tickets to see her :/.
I know she's taking me for granted a bit as well, she just expects me to do all this for her when she goes away but i'm not too sure i can or want to. She's let me down quite a few times in the past month so I can't exactly say I trust her to put the effort in when she goes away. She expects everything to be ok with her not putting any effort in. I guess the bit that worries me the most is that I wont be a big part of her life anymore, she'll be out there enjoying her uni life and going out most nights, not even thinking about me
I also don't really fancy staying with her and then breaking up 2 weeks after she starts at uni as I see that as quite a waste of time if the worst does happen.
So, wut2do? Any similar experiences or advice plz
Reply 1
Oh and excuse the typo in the title 
Won't let me edit it...
Won't let me edit it...Reply 2
Try speaking to her about, that's all I can suggest. My boyfriend wasn't too keen on me going to Uni (I'm not at Uni yet though), but we talked about it and now we understand eachother's feelings. If I hadn't talked to him, who knows until I was at Uni...I would hate to go through all that whilst being at Uni. Just ask her whether she'd make the effort to see you and stuff like that.
Reply 3
18
sorry i think its not going to work. break up but stay close friends. the distance and workload means it can never be the same
Reply 4
Yup we have talked She expects me to go there every week. This'll cost me between £15 and £40 a week so I don't know. She said she'll come back to london a few times as well. Although she said shes not prepared to miss 1/2 days of uni for my birthday and if i want to see her then I have to go there. Woo. Again, she's expecting me to put all of the effort in to see her, and when if i do agree to go everyweek she said she'll be doing work most of the time so I can just go out with one of her uni friends to play pool or something :/ I don't exactly mind this but it is a bit unfair...
She expects me to go there every week. This'll cost me between £15 and £40 a week so I don't know. She said she'll come back to london a few times as well. Although she said shes not prepared to miss 1/2 days of uni for my birthday and if i want to see her then I have to go there. Woo. Again, she's expecting me to put all of the effort in to see her, and when if i do agree to go everyweek she said she'll be doing work most of the time so I can just go out with one of her uni friends to play pool or something :/ I don't exactly mind this but it is a bit unfair...Reply 5
Hrmm, then she's sounding quite selfish. It's definitely not fair that you are doing all the work and putting the effort in.
Reply 6
Dont be too hasty, talk to her and make your feelings clear and then see where it goes. I think long distance can work if you are both commited and share the travel etc. it wouldnt be good if it was all on one persons sholders. speak to her and see how she feels and make clear how you feel. hope you work something out 
Reply 7
Anonymous
Yup we have talked She expects me to go there every week. This'll cost me between £15 and £40 a week so I don't know. She said she'll come back to london a few times as well. Although she said shes not prepared to miss 1/2 days of uni for my birthday and if i want to see her then I have to go there. Woo. Again, she's expecting me to put all of the effort in to see her, and when if i do agree to go everyweek she said she'll be doing work most of the time so I can just go out with one of her uni friends to play pool or something :/ I don't exactly mind this but it is a bit unfair...
She expects me to go there every week. This'll cost me between £15 and £40 a week so I don't know. She said she'll come back to london a few times as well. Although she said shes not prepared to miss 1/2 days of uni for my birthday and if i want to see her then I have to go there. Woo. Again, she's expecting me to put all of the effort in to see her, and when if i do agree to go everyweek she said she'll be doing work most of the time so I can just go out with one of her uni friends to play pool or something :/ I don't exactly mind this but it is a bit unfair...she seems very selfish and like its a very one sided relationship
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